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Thread: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

    Sorry, it was a bit of a test and an attention getter. You do archived the events well, but split second interpretation and memory gets things going on in our minds. When we look for something in that much information in a short time we happen to miss a lot. MY EXAMPLE IS OUT OF PROPORTION TO THE DESIRED INFORMATION but I have your attention. I believe that this one is wearing you out. You need a phase change that affects you outside this situation you are losing yourself in. I picked out something that had some familiarity to me just to sell this response. You seem to have lost yourself on the outcome. This is too uncomfortable because you seem to be exhausting yourself on the outcome rather than enjoying the time you share. Yes, the friend zone is a real danger. You have a great pool of all your past approach paths. Now you need to worry less about the endgame or potential friend zone and more about escalation and rebuilding attraction. From yet another direction or a calibrated previous direction that showed promise.

    Categorize these events in a table bad/ neutral/ and good reaction

    See what you notice for patterns. Develop list of what shows promise and what to avoid then use that combined list to create a good solid platform to continue from.

    Post your results of what you learned from making that table doesn't have to be written in detail of whole event key ideas or situations suffice we can consult above to clarify.

    Also, this situation seems to be getting you upset understandably but are you sure that it isn't showing in a non verbal way that you havn't been paying attention to. You have to focus on having fun as a ultimate goal as well. Stress/ sexual tension may kill you through non verbal distress.
    Last edited by hometownextra; 11-14-2013 at 06:33 PM. Reason: Missed point
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  2. #12
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

    I was with you until the last part. how do i categorize this? if you are worried I'm too focused on her, I just met another girl on monday in another class. She was a huge flirt and I'm not sure if she was in to me or that was just her, it seems like her flirtiness was more unique with me than the other guys, but I wasn't sure. I was gonna make a new thread for her.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

    Chart if you want to go for original one you are trying to steer out of friend zone.

    In general need to enjoy some of the little things. Less stress less likely to affect your game. Sorry I batted back and forth on my ideas

    Finally, recheck nonverbals something feels out of calibration based upon your stories but I cannot figure it out. It just seems one little keystone may help to add structure to what you have going on. I am convinced it is non verbal because I don't see much in. Your verbal that would be too bad in most of those situations. Yet I also do not see you achieving desired goals something needs calibration.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  4. #14
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

    i feel like you are saying about what I'm thinking but I'm not sure what i need to do still

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

    I get what you are saying. You understand what I am getting at but are unsure of how to go about checking or correcting it if I think I am having non verbal issues I skim these articles myself from time to time to refresh my own memory and remind myself to recalibrate my own non verbal actions


    http://www.puaforums.com/game/17574-...e-control.html

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...oof-guide.html

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-flirt/1...ge-basics.html

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-pick-up...ino-guide.html

    http://www.puaforums.com/game/17751-...nner-game.html

    http://www.puaforums.com/how-talk-gi...e-up-call.html

    I am big believer in powers of non verbals and recommend them my all the time, hope this helps, but seems like we hit a communicational wall. If this isn't what you are after feel free to ask for other ideas
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  6. #16
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

    ok. as far as frame control, i feel like there hasn't been too much conflict. she typically seems to accept what i say but doesn't give me much of a window to say it.
    social proof, at the party it was pretty great. i talked to a lot of people and barely talked to her accept when she pulled me in and at the end when we were alone. during class its still pretty good i talk to everyone and start conversations and keep it fluid. last night, at first, the teacher was making fun of me for not talking a lot (called me quiet thunder) but she stopped about half way through. i had talked before though and i had more chances after.
    i think my body language is pretty good now. i keep my shoulders back and down, typically. i usually stretch out my legs and take up space, i occasionally cross them to mirror but i quickly reopen. i don't frown, smile usually, only look intent when I'm listening (more mirroring), and laugh when its appropriate.
    ive not had the opportunity to kino since the party. I've never been good at it (i did it for the first time and got tons of practice on monday) and at the party, she hugged me. in class she never sits close enough to. there was ONCE that she took the seat for a little while next to me 2 weeks ago and i don't recall if i ACTUALLY managed to kino her or not, i just remember wanting to. otherwise she sits a chair or 2 away so i couldn't reach without being weird.
    I don't feel that unconfident.

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

    Let's try a couple tweaks to this equation, expand the touch of kino on your character start using it on everyone I was always afraid of touching others especially other dudes but if you use it more it sticks out less when you do so to target and amplifies its affective power. Second kino target more. Even a playfull little arm or shoulder tap walking by helps deliver it with a smile.

    Eliminate any crossing of appendages at least for a couple weeks it will be torture but monitor results. No more mirroring that for now because it can become contagious and if everyone in a given area is in closed posture it will become very confined and distant feeling. It easily makes it into a day that will drag on if everyone becomes closed.

    Controlling the frame I'd say tweak it a little more to the energetic side. Try to get your crowds a little more active. It helps other stay interested and engaged which inevitably helps you.

    Recap more kino across board
    Try to bring up the energy in any group you are part of.
    Stay open stance at all times and monitor changes
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  8. #18
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

    as far as crossing, its a 3 hr improv class so i usually (or at least yesterday) only crossed them about 10 minutes total of the 180 minutes. idk if thats relevant. i kinda figured sitting too still would also be bad and mirroring would be good.

    also being an improv class I'm not sure how to up the energy, unless I'm misunderstanding what you mean again. typically everybody is pretty high energy. even if they aren't when we start, its so fun its hard not to be relatively quickly. i felt like when i made my jokes it was high energy, at the very least her laughs were a strong energy. again, I'm not sure if I'm not misunderstanding you again.

  9. #19
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    Default Re: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

    Yeah you are reading me I am just saying cutting out any negative body language what so ever for now and try to steal a bit of lime light here and there will hopefully help adjust as needed.

    With body language even small negative stretches can be very damaging. You aren't far off target so small changes are likely what you need and best place to start.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.

  10. #20
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Im circling the friend zone. PLEASE HELP

    This is a 2-parter

    I drove katelyn home.

    Maybe she wanted me at the party (which she's apparently still worn out from) but I found out why it felt like I was sliding to the friend zone. We were talking about school (she's also a teacher) and she mentioned "the guy I'm KINDA seeing is teaching 7th grade" it was very casual, definitely not an indicator that she was taken, based on the tone. I offered to drive her home again and I think she said yeah. The only positive signs were that when she talked about him, she kinda trailed off like she realized what she was talking about and that she said kinda seeing which tells me it's not serious. I figure the best thing with her is move on, I can be her friend and see where things go but focus on other girls. I can say she said she got rid of her tinder account. She was addicted and she described it as "a game" so idk if that means it's more serious or not.

    Do u agree with being friends? Or Do u think it's worth gaming half-heartedly. Not really focus, just way back burner. I like hanging with her anyway so if u could help me, even on the friend front, that would be cool. Turns out we have a lot in common. I'd feel kinda sleazy trying break someone up on the other hand, I know it's new cause a month ago she Face-booked about meeting guys and she would have just cancelled tinder cause she talked about it last week. Still, idk what he feels for her and I don't want to be that guy. Sorry about talking in circles. What's your thought on gaming her and if no, can u help me befriend her so it's more than just casual/me driving her home once a week for the next month?

    There is another girl in the class that I want to bring up…


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