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  1. #1
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Help with HB8 blondie, best friend of my best friend

    Hi all,

    I know this girl from high school, one year older than me and I've built great friedship with her best girlfriend. I started to get on well with HB8 too (like 2 months ago) and she seems interested in me. When we meet she gives me IOIs all the time but what is really frustrating that 90% of our communication is through texting. There were 3 or 4 times when we made a plan to have some drinks (the 3 of us, sometimes an extra guy) and she flaked on us or just joined when we were already out in a nightclub, came by car and went home after like 20mins. She is meeting guys but is not easy to sleep with her, she is single and my best girlfriend told me that she thinks I'm hot and I also feel that she is attracted. But whenever I want to meet up with them she does the same. We text almost every day but I think it would be weird to ask her out after I use an indirect approach this time, although it would be the best to I meet with her, just the two of us. Today there is a birthday where both of us is invited and she told us that she only comes if our common best girlfriend comes. I really don't understand her.

    Thanks in advance

  2. #2
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Help with HB8 blondie, best friend of my best friend

    guys id welcome any advice, please help

  3. #3
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    Bimmer is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help with HB8 blondie, best friend of my best friend

    Are you talking/going out with other girls or are you just talking to this chick? It's one thing for her to know you as going out with a group of people, but she should also know that you're dating life is active and not waiting for her.

    She may think you're hot, but looks are looks. You have to attract her through your bad ass conversation skills witty one liners. That's what will make her interested.

    Texting her everyday may seem like a good thing, but in reality, it's putting you in a zone that you don't want to be in. Girls like attention, whether it be in person or through text, and guess what... that's what you're doing, giving her attention (without anything in return).

    Today there is a birthday where both of us is invited and she told us that she only comes if our common best girlfriend comes.
    I would have called her a sissy because she needs her little security blanket with her (this mutual friend), then text a picture to her showing how much fun the party is with out her.... but hey, that's just me.
    I wish I was little bit taller
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    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC

  4. #4
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Help with HB8 blondie, best friend of my best friend

    Yes, I'm talking to other girls. And when I tell her I'm busy, she keeps asking until I tell her what I am doing. Our texting is two-way traffic, she texts me first ~50% of time.

    A girl just posted a photo to my fb with a picture of the two of us and posted <3-s with it, so she might even believe that I'm taken now. Although I admit that I talk to other girls as well, she is my favourite at the moment.

    For example it turned out that both of us went to the same sporting event a few weeks ago, she offered me to give me a car ride and personally I were preparing like it was a date, she asked me how to get her hair done and I told her confidently what I preferred, than out of the blue during our conversation she tells me that sorry but she can't take me. It drives me crazy and I don't know whats the reason behind this.

    Texting was a lot of fun a few weeks ago but after 2 or 3 flakes (similar to the one I described ) it went a bit cold. I like her but I won't be a texting buddy of somebody who is kinda afraid or not keen to meet me in real life.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Help with HB8 blondie, best friend of my best friend

    she keeps asking until I tell her what I am doing.
    So she gets what she wants anyway. Who's in charge here?

    Personally, I wouldn't entertain her flakes for too long. 3 strikes and their out in my book. Texting is all good, but you can't form a sexual relationship without personal interaction. Try freezing her out for a bit.
    I wish I was little bit taller
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  6. #6
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with HB8 blondie, best friend of my best friend

    Echoeing what Bimmer said, it seems like she might have some insecurity issues - a red flag in my book. These women are not good for anything serious/long term, but good to play with. There are confident and beautiful women out there. They are not common, you just gotta find em.

    Having said that, I don't see it as a huge loss.

    The things you described are strong IOIs, which is good. The fact that she flaked on you isn't an indicator of her level of interest in you. Some girls are like that. They are unreliable. They flake on everyone, including their own friends. Another red flag.

    From your post, I didn't get that you asked her out on a 1 on 1 date (it's always with friends). So try that on your last hurrah.
    And make certain that you demonstrate value with your time to flakey girls like this - that your time is valuable and important or else she won't respect you. It's you who is fitting HER into your schedule. It's either a 'fvck yes' or 'no.' You don't have time to waste on flakes.

    A way to end this could be as simple like this:

    You: My next few days are crazy busy. But I want to check out this [cool location]. Come with me. What's your schedule like this weekend?
    Her: Oh I don't know.
    You: Well, when are you not busy?
    Her: I'll call you (or any form of iffy non concrete answers)
    You: You know what? Forget about it. It's obvious you're not that excited about it. It was nice meeting you.

    Done. Move on. Sometimes the girl will wise up and say "Wait, wait, wait..." cuz you just demonstrated value. Securing a date like this is best done in person.

  7. #7
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Help with HB8 blondie, best friend of my best friend

    The things you described are strong IOIs, which is good. The fact that she flaked on you isn't an indicator of her level of interest in you. Some girls are like that. They are unreliable. They flake on everyone, including their own friends. Another red flag.
    good point, yes she flakes on her friends as well.

    the insecurity issues are there, thats for sure.

    what about freezig her out for a week? we havent talked for 3 days now and i dont plan to get in touch myself, i was disappointed with the flakes but still think she is a smart and hot girl

  8. #8
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help with HB8 blondie, best friend of my best friend

    Yea I agree with the freezing out. And when you do give it one last shot, get the point across that your time is valuable and you don't have time to d1ck around with flakes.

    I understand she is hot. Around your age, all it takes is one hot girl and it's enough to be sold. But later on, these hot women will need to bring more good qualities to the table or else it gets old. I call 'em lap dogs.

    They good to look at, but good for nothing (except to play with).

    Unreliability + Insecurity are no good. Signs a girl doesn't have it all together. In a relationship, it will catch up to you.

    But if all fails, I'd at least keep her as a friend. Remember, even as a friend within your social circle, she will be of use as a wing or pivot. Hot women will attract other hot women.

  9. #9
    mitkoberba is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Help with HB8 blondie, best friend of my best friend

    We haven't talked now for 5 days and the plan seems to work, my BF brought up that HB8 is disappointed (probably with me for not contacting her this weekend, contrary to the past 5 weeks when I made myself available to her every Saturday). BF didn't tell me the reason for her disappointment but I never asked, just ignored it and changed the topic. Now I'm waiting for her to get in touch and I'm sure she will this week, the question now is how to handle the conversation when she texts to meet her in person, I don't care if in a group or just the two of us, but spend time with her in person.

    PS: at least I made plans without her this weekend, no wonder I finished my Saturday night with a K-Close with another girl which might set up a date next weekend, to add to my beloved HB8s 'disappointments'

  10. #10
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help with HB8 blondie, best friend of my best friend

    Yea looks like her insecurities are getting the best of her. Plays in your favor.

    Well IF she does contact you, just play it cool. She will be wondering what you've been up to. So definitely let her know that you've been busy (with work and/or a lucrative social life) without giving out too much details.

    Some folks here would even advise you to joke around indirectly calling out her flakiness.

    But if you want to set date. Don't overplan it and keep it simple and your expectations low. Scope out what days she can do. Agree on one of the dates (let's say, in this case, you arrange for Wed nite). If you want to step it up with high risk, cancel on her, but not at the last minute.

    Text her this:
    "Really sorry about this, but I can't make Wednesday." DO NOT follow up with "can we do Thursday instead" OR "when is a good time for you?"

    This should force her into suggesting an alternative date not you. Note also you should not explain yourself either for canceling. Then agree to meet her on the whatever date she suggests.

    "Yea Saturday is fine. Thanks for being cool with this."

    Just remember that uou should always HINT to her that you are fitting her into your busy schedule and hectic social life. You must demonstrate to her that your time is limited/precious.

    For example, tell her 2 nights you are busy.

    "So I think Iím fairly free on Thursday, oh no wait, I got a party that night, hmmm. So Thursday and Friday I canít do."

    At this point, she might intervene and suggest evenings that she is free.

    "I have Wednesday nights free, but I can only do after 7:30 pm."


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