Hey guys! Normally I don't ask questions on here and I typically provide a lot of advise, so this is a little out of the norm (and frankly, a little uncomfortable). But I respect the communities opinion and I believe that it will be less biased than others I may speak with.
So over the past few weeks I've put aside my philandering and gaming and really started to reevaluate myself. I've really started to work on some deep rooted problems I have been having. While game has worked wonderfully for me, I still often feel empty and alone (and not in the existential sense that you're supposed to feel). Anyways, I've discovered that my childhood and early life has likely led to an adulthood that is characterized by attachment and abandonment issues. Some may call these inner game problems, or what have you, but ultimately these are deep seeded problems that I have been experiencing and they are separate from traditional "game" (my ability to pick up women has not been overly impacted).
To put my story into context for everyone, I got into game seriously about a year ago after my girlfriend of about nine years broke it off with me and we have been out of contact since that time. Without going into too much detail, we started dating in high school and this girl was, and remains, very important to me. Our separation was caused by several different factors, including long-distance, my loss of "self" within the relationship, a loss of confidence that I had at the start of our relationship, and ultimately, what I believe are some severe psychological issues that I am only now starting to work through.
Throughout our relationship my ex would often express opinions and feelings about my behaviors and relationships with other people that I would disregard as her own insecurities. I would tell her she should go "talk to someone" about those issues and work on them.
After working through some of my own issues over the past year, I've made some huge progress recently and I now realize that many of the opinions and feelings she expressed were consistent with psychological issues I've been dealing with.
I finally realize that a lot of what I've done has been extremely harmful to both my ex and myself. In order to gain closure on this and also because I care deeply for my ex as a person, I would like to express an apology to her and validate the feelings that I had rejected for so long. I'm not looking to game her, get her back, or even get a reply from her. However, I don't want to send an apology to her if doing so would be selfish (i.e., solely serves my purposes but is harmful to her).
So here's my question, should I send her an apology?