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  • 1 Post By cdharders

Thread: Chinese Names

  1. #1
    fei
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    Default Chinese Names

    Ok guys. I have been having this question in my head for very long. I was born in China and migrated to Singapore since 6. As you guys may or may not know, Singapore is a highly westernized city-state located in Southeast Asia. China is, you know, China.

    I have been alternating between these 2 worlds(East and West cultures) since young. One being from my parents and one from Singapore society itself. My birth name is in chinese. And I have been noticing a very strange trend amongst Chinese and Asians in particular is that most of them I know adopt english names. And I know the major reason for this is because it is easier to pronounce in the english speaking world. Of course there are ones who are born with it due to birth in a western country like Bruce Lee which is perfectly. But for the rest is it necessary to adopt english names? Can this seemingly minor phenomenon in Asian cultures explain why Asian men are just not being preferred by women amongst other race. Because they are basically coming from a "I am gonna to please others" angle? That they are actually not proud of their name and hence identity as asians? Maybe that is the reason why Asians are being bullied so much and stereotyped as a "push-over" in western culture?

    I want to know, as a budding PUA, what is the right course of action? Should I adopt a english name or continue to use my hard to pronounce chinese name. Frankly, I have been studying chinese/asian culture and it runs contrary to a lot of the principles in attraction. The over-arching theme of confucius emphasizes "harmony" and "obedience" which could not be even further away from developing yourself into an attraction man(reason why asians are stereotyped to be asexual). Of course there are many good thing about confucious culture like an emphasis on education and self-improvement(reason why asian are stereotyped to be so smart?)

    Also, surnames of chinese typically puts the surname/family name in front of the given name. Which is a result of putting the family above the self and as you might know, chinese cultures put nation above the family. Hence nation state > family > self. I find it profoundly stupid for nation to come first since it is the individual that makes up the collective.

    I know this may not sound like the type of questions you would find here but since I am working on natural game and focusing on being genuine, I have to figure out my cultural interpretation in a world dominated by western cultures and maybe soon to be east. What are your thoughts?

  2. #2
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Chinese Names

    Quote Originally Posted by fei View Post
    Ok guys. I have been having this question in my head for very long. I was born in China and migrated to Singapore since 6. As you guys may or may not know, Singapore is a highly westernized city-state located in Southeast Asia. China is, you know, China.

    I have been alternating between these 2 worlds(East and West cultures) since young. One being from my parents and one from Singapore society itself. My birth name is in chinese. And I have been noticing a very strange trend amongst Chinese and Asians in particular is that most of them I know adopt english names. And I know the major reason for this is because it is easier to pronounce in the english speaking world. Of course there are ones who are born with it due to birth in a western country like Bruce Lee which is perfectly. But for the rest is it necessary to adopt english names? Can this seemingly minor phenomenon in Asian cultures explain why Asian men are just not being preferred by women amongst other race. Because they are basically coming from a "I am gonna to please others" angle? That they are actually not proud of their name and hence identity as asians? Maybe that is the reason why Asians are being bullied so much and stereotyped as a "push-over" in western culture?

    I want to know, as a budding PUA, what is the right course of action? Should I adopt a english name or continue to use my hard to pronounce chinese name. Frankly, I have been studying chinese/asian culture and it runs contrary to a lot of the principles in attraction. The over-arching theme of confucius emphasizes "harmony" and "obedience" which could not be even further away from developing yourself into an attraction man(reason why asians are stereotyped to be asexual). Of course there are many good thing about confucious culture like an emphasis on education and self-improvement(reason why asian are stereotyped to be so smart?)

    Also, surnames of chinese typically puts the surname/family name in front of the given name. Which is a result of putting the family above the self and as you might know, chinese cultures put nation above the family. Hence nation state > family > self. I find it profoundly stupid for nation to come first since it is the individual that makes up the collective.

    I know this may not sound like the type of questions you would find here but since I am working on natural game and focusing on being genuine, I have to figure out my cultural interpretation in a world dominated by western cultures and maybe soon to be east. What are your thoughts?
    Really exciting you're getting into game! Personally, I am a HUGE fan of a lot of eastern philosophy. I have a few Asian friends, and they have found it very valuable to use a Western name when talking to a western girl. It builds rapport, especially if they have a name that is difficult to pronounce. Building attraction with a woman is difficult enough without throwing up another roadblock in the set.

    Also, you are not changing yourself or identity by doing so. You are just making communication with the woman easier, so the set runs better.

    Good luck! Hope that helps!

  3. #3
    TomInVegas's Avatar
    TomInVegas is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Chinese Names

    Hi Fei - I like that you are enthusiastic about natural game and learning how to build more attraction with women. Welcome to the PUA Forums!

    Building commonalities with a woman is a great way to connect with her. If you have a western name that she's familiar with, then she will be more open to you.

    To make it easier for you, you may pick a name that's close to your Chinese name, so that it gets your attention when someone uses it. For instance Phil, if your name is Fei.

  4. #4
    fei
    fei is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Chinese Names

    Thanks guys, I've been outfield these days and went totally honest with every girl I approached. I told them about my view points about names and why I am going to use my chinese name even when it is hard to pronounce. Turns out, it is not that hard for them to pronounce! They can pronounce my name nicely the first time I tell them! And I get the feel that I am getting more respect because I stuck to my values (; Honesty is really the greatest aphrodisiac (; I still have a long way to go in this though, I am having trouble escalating sexally due to anxiety about sex. As a result, I will always be stuck in the friend-zone in the club.


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