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Thread: Need Help Forgetting Game

  1. #1
    SmoothFLow's Avatar
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    Default Need Help Forgetting Game

    How do you UN-learn game? I feel like I was much more happier with my relationships before I learned game.
    Success or fail; everything you try can be chalked up as a learning experience~

  2. #2
    urbancowboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Help Forgetting Game

    Quote Originally Posted by SmoothFLow View Post
    How do you UN-learn game? I feel like I was much more happier with my relationships before I learned game.
    No you weren't. You think you were but if that were true, you would never have sought out PUA. Even joining this message board was an admission of your failure to be happy with the way things were. AND THAT'S NOT A BAD THING IN AND OF ITSELF. A sick man seeks medicine, a hungry man seeks food, a tired man seeks sleep.

    I think what you need to learn is how to use the right tool for the right job. PUA is a lifestyle (or it should be treated as one) but it is NOT a paradigm. Read that three or four times until it sinks in. What's the difference? The thing is that when you first meet or start talking to a girl, there is ALWAYS a conscious decision to game or not game her. Don't believe me? Think about girls you met after PUA that you weren't really attracted to. I'm guessing you didn't game them (although they might have gotten attracted to you seeing you game other girls). That's your proof game can be turned off and on. When I meet a girl, I talk to her a little and I make a decision...will I use game on her or will I just be myself? This line starts to become blurred over many moons. As you get better at game (and if you're like me, you develop better habits like working out, actually going to class, dressing nicer, etc), you notice women are attracted to you at a higher rate than before, even if you are not trying or actively talking to them. Hell, sometimes you'll just notice how many women check you out while you're walking down the street. THAT IS NOT GAME, YOU ARE NOT RUNNING GAME, AND IT HAS VERY LITTLE DIRECT RELATIONSHIP TO GAME. You still get to decide how you treat people. If you actually like a girl, just don't run game on her. Be yourself, but BE YOUR BEST SELF. It is impossible to sustain a relationship (a real one, like boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever) pretending to be something you're not. Running the cube 10 times will never replace real emotional intimacy no matter how sick your pattern stacking is or how good your jealousy plotlines are. You can take that whatever way you want but that's how I see all this.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Need Help Forgetting Game

    UN-learning the game is easy.

    Step 1:

    Just get Netflix and watch a ton of chick flicks. Then read a bunch of romance novels written by women.

    Step 2:

    Start doing what the guys in the movies and the novels did. Do this for a month or two and you won't even remember what game was.

    I doubt you'll be happy after you "UN-LEARN"

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Need Help Forgetting Game

    I think your unhappiness of game comes from a psychological stand point. For me, when it comes to game, there aren't many surprises.


    For example: If I escalate attraction when I know it's the right time, I know the result I'm going to get.

    Now again, for me, the sexual tension is still there, but the "surprises" are gone. Having a psychological background, I love this feature of the game. Not everyone's like me though and it seems to me as if you just need to get the blood pumping again so you can enjoy the excitement of game.
    I wish I was little bit taller
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    I would call her - Skee Lo, the OG AFC

  5. #5
    SmoothFLow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Help Forgetting Game

    Quote Originally Posted by urbancowboy View Post
    No you weren't. You think you were but if that were true, you would never have sought out PUA. Even joining this message board was an admission of your failure to be happy with the way things were. AND THAT'S NOT A BAD THING IN AND OF ITSELF. A sick man seeks medicine, a hungry man seeks food, a tired man seeks sleep.

    I think what you need to learn is how to use the right tool for the right job. PUA is a lifestyle (or it should be treated as one) but it is NOT a paradigm. Read that three or four times until it sinks in. What's the difference? The thing is that when you first meet or start talking to a girl, there is ALWAYS a conscious decision to game or not game her. Don't believe me? Think about girls you met after PUA that you weren't really attracted to. I'm guessing you didn't game them (although they might have gotten attracted to you seeing you game other girls). That's your proof game can be turned off and on. When I meet a girl, I talk to her a little and I make a decision...will I use game on her or will I just be myself? This line starts to become blurred over many moons. As you get better at game (and if you're like me, you develop better habits like working out, actually going to class, dressing nicer, etc), you notice women are attracted to you at a higher rate than before, even if you are not trying or actively talking to them. Hell, sometimes you'll just notice how many women check you out while you're walking down the street. THAT IS NOT GAME, YOU ARE NOT RUNNING GAME, AND IT HAS VERY LITTLE DIRECT RELATIONSHIP TO GAME. You still get to decide how you treat people. If you actually like a girl, just don't run game on her. Be yourself, but BE YOUR BEST SELF. It is impossible to sustain a relationship (a real one, like boyfriend and girlfriend or whatever) pretending to be something you're not. Running the cube 10 times will never replace real emotional intimacy no matter how sick your pattern stacking is or how good your jealousy plotlines are. You can take that whatever way you want but that's how I see all this.
    You're definitely right. When I first started learning game, it was mostly just working on myself and I began noticing more women looking at me which felt really good. And I wasn't happy with how things were since my motivation was that my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. Game has helped me in that relationship, and get an SNL, and build attraction with women.
    But I feel lost somewhere in the theories, the methods, the field-testing techniques, and what my life is like NOW compared to when I first started game. It was like a quick roller coaster ride. Well, how do you keep the roller coaster going?? Turning game on- and off is hard for me to grasp because it HAS become MY lifestyle - so bad that I'm regarded as a "player" by people that I meet for the first time without even doing anything. :/
    Success or fail; everything you try can be chalked up as a learning experience~

  6. #6
    SmoothFLow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Need Help Forgetting Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Bimmer View Post
    I think your unhappiness of game comes from a psychological stand point. For me, when it comes to game, there aren't many surprises.
    My unhappiness of game does come from a psychological stand point, so bad that I'm writing my essay on it and did a survey on relationships. I don't know where I got lost in this, but I never felt like I need to get the blood pumping again because I just felt satisfied with where I am in life, but with the unsatisfaction of loneliness (if that makes any sense)
    Success or fail; everything you try can be chalked up as a learning experience~

  7. #7
    urbancowboy is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Help Forgetting Game

    Quote Originally Posted by SmoothFLow View Post
    You're definitely right. When I first started learning game, it was mostly just working on myself and I began noticing more women looking at me which felt really good. And I wasn't happy with how things were since my motivation was that my ex-girlfriend broke up with me. Game has helped me in that relationship, and get an SNL, and build attraction with women.
    But I feel lost somewhere in the theories, the methods, the field-testing techniques, and what my life is like NOW compared to when I first started game. It was like a quick roller coaster ride. Well, how do you keep the roller coaster going?? Turning game on- and off is hard for me to grasp because it HAS become MY lifestyle - so bad that I'm regarded as a "player" by people that I meet for the first time without even doing anything. :/
    I'm going to try my very best not to belabor this and talk out of my ass too much but I may venture into that territory so take this all with a grain of salt...

    I think you're asking the wrong questions. The more you write, the more I see a theme, which is a disturbing lack of self-awareness. It's not just you, trust me. I've noticed it a lot in people who start doing this. They learn all these things and just throw them around to see what sticks. But rarely do they consider the impact of their actions on the poeple around them and how that can impact the way they see themselves. And that's a vicious cycle to get into. Back on topic of lacking self-awareness, I forget the exact term for it but I think it's called an internal monitor, where you can actually hear what you're saying. A lot guys start doing and seem to lose that because they got caught up in the rush and "lose their soul" a little if you will. But part of game, at least for me, and part of the fun and I think the last true step to become a master pick-up artist is learning to process information very quickly and make decisions based on rapidly changing inputs that will both satisfy you AND the woman (or women if you're lucky hahaha). If you don't consider the impact of your actions before you commit to them, you will always end up feeling kind of lost or like you're being pulled by the tide and be unsatisfied with the results, even if they might be what you wanted. Hope that wasn't too convoluted!

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Need Help Forgetting Game

    it HAS become MY lifestyle
    Welcome to my world (and probably many others). PU is a lifestyle if you want it to be. Fortunately for me, I do! I'm a huge Psych nerd, so every aspect of PU is interesting to me and the ride keeps on going.

    I'm regarded as a "player" by people that I meet for the first time without even doing anything.
    I've been called a player many times, only by very close GUY friends though. The study of PU is something that I like to keep to myself. Am I ashamed of PU? Hell no. In my line of work though, it's best kept a secret if my clients don't know. So I suggest watching what you say around people. Come off more as a politician than a PUA. You'll get similar results minus the "Player" title.
    I wish I was little bit taller
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  9. #9
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need Help Forgetting Game

    Hey smooth all the above guys may be on point but you need to accept the new man you are.on girls calling you player abruptly deny it (cuz your not ) then continue building attraction.

    Its a side of you that never go away.girls are thought right from the on set how to game sort of.either ways in relationships whether you were successful or not depends on what you were looking out for.game bring these things into your awareness etc.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Need Help Forgetting Game

    "The price of being a sheep is boredom. The price of being a wolf is loneliness. Choose one or the other with great care." - Hugh Macleod
    Wondering where I am now? Check out my latest project:



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