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Thread: Dealing with a Flirt

  1. #31
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a Flirt

    Quote Originally Posted by TomInVegas View Post
    Andrew,

    This is the BEST advice I have seen so far. Listen to what everyone on this forum is telling you. You are caught up in a tunnel vision world for these two girls now. Relax, meet other girls and just try to be the cool guy in your acting class.

    Tom
    I actually don't have tunnel vision. I just haven't been able to find other girls. I ALWAYS have my eyes open but I'm in the burbs and it's a gd awful place for pick up. I don't have the money to drive in for more than just classes.

    That's y I need help with these 2. If I see another girl that I find attractive I will try to approach, I still have some approach anxiety due to lack of girls to practice on.
    There's a girl in a different class I thought was cute but I made an approach and she didn't really respond. I didn't really like her, she had a weird thing about the class. She was noticeably super into the teacher (in a respectful way) and the only window I had was that at the end of class we did this "insult formula" and she did the teacher so I teased her and she liked that one but overall no response.

    Just because I have some focus on prospects, I'm not tunnel vision. I just like to focus on my real prospects until find another. That's y I need help figuring out what this was. I'd rather take time and focus on the girls, if I like them, and it's practice if nothing else. If I could interpret this stuff, I wouldn't have to ask the next time.

    So, what's the deal with last night?

  2. #32
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a Flirt

    i forgot to mention that hannah asked if i was going to the show tonight at least twice. new other girl asked at least once. hannah didn't know the where and when and when i asked she told me to ask other girl and i thought she sounded mildly concerned when i said when. i said, paraphrased "this is the first I'm hearing about it, sounds like fun, when is it?" "idk,(sounded mildly panicked) ask ..."

    that's a good thing, right? Or is it just friendly?

    I also forgot to mention i asked if she'd be my "study buddy" for Hebrew but she said she didn't know enough. I saw that as a) a dodge to being alone with me or b) not wanting to embarrass herself with her abysmal Hebrew (it's a tough language and it sounds like her only training was a 10 day trip to Israel for an international exploratory trip Jews call "birthright" which she urged me to go on)

  3. #33
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a Flirt

    ER was filmed in Chicago and we talked about Chicago shows yesterday and I mentioned it was filmed in Evanston. She said really? I said yes, I think I was actually born in that hospital. She said "oh my god, u were born in Evanston?! I went to school there. Northwestern…" then we talked about schools and northwesterns theatre dept.

    I was just thinking her reaction was odd and it occurred to me she made a random connection out of essentially nothing. Pure chance of something 18 years apart. Was that an attempt to connect in someway? Show we have stuff in common? Or am I just far reaching? I just figure it's such an odd and intense reaction and I can't think of anything else to explain it.

  4. #34
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    Default Re: Dealing with a Flirt

    What part of the burbs you in I had no problem I the Shaumburg/ Hoffman Estates area, heck the Woodfield mall this time of year target rich for sure.

    Glad to see that you are engaging some solid changes and calibration to non verbal game and the reverse hug thing solid move shows confidence in yourself and shows that you are comfortable with the space around you. Yes it does add social proof.

    Sounds like you are making ground just stay chill it seems to be working well.

    Just keep dialing in small calibrations you are doing well and glad to hear it keep up the nice momentum.
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  5. #35
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a Flirt

    Im in Glenview. everyone I know (even my best friend, who's good at this) agree that its ridiculous here. its like the twilight zone. only old people or taken people.

    thanks man, i can say that i feel like things have improved. girls seem more interested which makes me feel more confidant which makes girls more interested. by girls i meant the 2 I'm going for, the 2 I'm not really attracted to, and a married woman i saw checking me out at target.

    I'm seeing hannah tonight, i think, i just found out fg isn't going and since hannah had to get the info from reverse hug girl idk if she got it yet, and I'm not sure how to make this play tonight. i realized fg and emt are still undermining me (last night i was talking to hannah and fg (who is now a fbook friend) and he said to me in front of her "have you lost a lot of weight? i saw your pictures on fbook and you looked a lot bigger" and emt was talking about how he had been in fights but outgrew it, then described to me what it was like since id never been in one her used "have you ever been in a fight, as 2 consenting adults? otherwise you don't know what its like" (unfortunately i blanked on the fact that i was in the army, infantry, being groomed for spec ops so i didn't bring it up) and he accused me of acting like her dad last week (she compared fg to her father and he tried to add me to that) yet they say everything in a nice way that makes it sound like we r friends. I'm not really sure how to handle them, other than the fact that they will apparently hit on anything that moves if its half their age since he spent most of the night hitting on reverse hug girl. i get the feeling that hannah sort of sees through it, or at least him. i don't think she sees fg as a real prospect because of the age but i think she does like him. other than sitting next to him and mooching his drink (yes it reminded me more of mooching then romance though when she took mine she didn't think she'd like it cause i compared it to pumpkin pie and she doesn't like pumpkin pie yet she still reached for the bottle and took a sip but didn't like it and didn't take more) she showed him nothing really, it all looked friendly that time.

    whats your suggestion for tonight (please hurry) and do you have any advice to pursue this?

  6. #36
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    Default Re: Dealing with a Flirt

    Let it roll,he is trying to draw a reaction, less you buy in the best. The alpha would ignore it. Or best response is I only fight for something I believe in and I havn't ever needed to defend my beliefs yet.

    They are trying to take you out of alpha status by provoking a irrational response. Do not even give the argument validity by responding or if you do spin it positive.

    Like above I only fight for what I believe in shows you aren't scared to defend what you hold dear to you.

    Thank god I haven't had to. would show you are rational

    I haven't ever had to physically defend them yet. Shows strong personal character
    Last edited by hometownextra; 11-19-2013 at 08:59 PM. Reason: Bottom two parts are optional last parts
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  7. #37
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a Flirt

    thats more or less what i did. I'm glad to know i got it right. to him, i said i only fight to defend others, if someone got in my face id let it go. he kept pushing harder and harder, thats also what he said he did, and he was clearly trying make a point but my answer started sum up to a response of "exactly..., i would never throw the first punch/get into a fight over my own stuff/etc" basically just kept repeating stuff like that.

    fgs comment caught me off guard so when he asked i just shook my hand side to side and shrugged like "a little, no big deal" and he answered "a little?" and basically dropped it. hannah was clearly unimpressed by it i didn't see her face cause she was looking at him but she seemed put-off based on her posture and i think he realized it was a bad road to take.

    did i handle it well? do you have advice for tonight? maybe a topic or 2? i talked about our shared religion, teaching, acting, tv shows (a little), agents, israel, and what happened last week. she seemed into all of it, some got pretty deep, and when i wanted her to laugh, she laughed. not as hard or often as last week but she also drank a lot less yesterday. now I'm kinda out of topic ideas.

  8. #38
    hometownextra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with a Flirt

    Indeed good catch on the changing posture, a lady will let you know a lot by her posture.

    Now you know why I harp about non verbal game it is harder to master and control but it's uses and power are far superior.

    Use body language to push pull tonight more interesting points slightly lean in toward her. As it gets slow or slightly boring lean out a little total of inch either way little leans go a long way. When things are neutral stay neutral. If things flow well as you lean out or away a little she will try to re-engage your attention.

    Aside from that keep similar to last night. Little more kino, little more body phasing to show interest/disinterest, we have to find a way to get a k-close into this. Keep up the social value with other females, it helps with the target tremendously.

    Lastly have fun, she will notice that too.
    Last edited by hometownextra; 11-19-2013 at 09:20 PM. Reason: Missed points
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  9. #39
    andrewkrs27 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Dealing with a Flirt

    awesome. i think thats part of where i mess up. i knew about leaning in and out but i think i lean too much. definitely more than an inch. it may be too obvious or something.
    yesterday i was leaned in a lot when i talked to her, do in part to the noise, and used it as an excuse to touch her, usually just her side or leg, but if i felt it getting slower or talked to someone else, i faced them. at the end of the night my gut said she was getting uncomfortable with my being against her leg, she rotated a lot at the end, and as far as my arm she must did something but it was so subtle i don't recall, but i felt like i should move so i crossed my arms across the table (i know, no crossing but the table was small and i had little choice. she didn't seem put off though, maybe more engaged with me, though it was a group convo so she coulda been more engaged in what was said)

  10. #40
    hometownextra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with a Flirt

    Perhaps yes conversations get a little bumpy.

    But yeah lighten the movement, but throw in some incidental kino especially during high points of energy. However she might have just started moving when you started thinking she might have been feeling awkward so dismiss the thought or your subconscious may throw out a non verbal that you are un aware of. So hard to say if it was that or if you had the thought then a nonverbal slipped and drew her attention to it.
    Learn to be a better person not a better player.


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