Tell me what you take away from this story.
This may not be in order or lack some events/details because it was 3am when i got home and it was last monday. There is also the aspect that while I pride myself on my objectivity, sometimes you see what you want to see. My point is take this story with a grain of salt. Also take note that its not as long as it looks. I break it to make it easier to follow but people tend to assume length when they see a lot of breaks.
On monday I started a new on camera acting class. the key difference between camera and stage is subtlety because the camera sees everything. The teacher told everyone to be more subtle then told me to ignore that and be less subtle. Im a very subtle person, which may make PUA a bit different. I had missed the first class, this was the second, which may have added that new student air of mystery.
This pretty girl walked in roughly 5 minutes late. There were 3 open chairs left. one in front of me, next to a 43 year old french guy, and one on either side of me. She comes in, sits to my left, leans in, and asks what she missed, which was basically nothing. she spent most of the class leaned in a little. Ive never been good at kino so when I wanted to talk to her I just leaned in. I spent the first 40 min of class being kind of shy but I worked up the courage to talk to her and spent most of the class whispering stupid jokes to her. She laughed at every one. an example, when the chair in front of her got emptied she put her feet up and I said "Maybe we should get you a lazy boy" after 2.5 hrs she got tired of putting her feet up/down and I said "selling your lazy boy?" yes, even that got a laugh. she also touched me several times but it was so light, I'm not convinced they were on purpose. the main one was she would stretch out her legs a little to get more comfortable and bump my already alpha outstretched legs. she usually left for a few minutes then moved her foot.
I wanted ask her for her number after class but before I could a 37 year old fireman/emt/father of 3 started talking to her. I didn't hear the conversation but it ended with them, the french guy, me, and another girl going to a club (?) and i figured, at least I'm no through with her. she took the front, next to the emt and I didn't get to talk to her on the way there.
when we got there the french guy got us in for free, something about his room key and us all sharing a room (he's in town for the class and to make some connections before he heads back to france) so we went inside (there were 2 rooms and the bands switched between the 2. the tables were long and thin with 3 chairs on either side) and the moment she sat down, the met and french guy (fg to save time) took the 2 closest spots. the other girl happened to sit to the 3rd closest and could barely hear her over the music in the other room. She asked everyones age and when she got to me and I told her 22 (I didn't get to tell her i'll be 23 in 2 months) she said "oh, so your younger than me" but then she qualified "I just turned 23" (meaning the other guys were almost twice her age). At this point the music started and I was so far I couldn't hear her over the music to save my life. Instead I made do by practicing kino on the other girl and talking to her. the met showed a video of his daughters to her and she cooed. then he got up to order drinks and the fg was chatting to the other girl so i tried leaning over the table to talk to her. she copied me but it was so loud i couldn't hear her so instead i laughed. she cracked up, then asked what i was laughing about. I didn't know so I said "I wanted see if you'd copy me" "oh, well, I did"
at this point she had also been laughing a lot at what the met and fg had been saying so i decided maybe she was just "that girl" or she got interested in them.
It was veterans day and there was a lot of ex military there, including an ex airborne army ranger in the band. I was in training for the same thing but got hurt so I talked with him for a while. Eventually the other girl hit the washroom and this time I took advantage. I moved to her chair so I could join the rest of the conversation.
The fg seemed a little challenged, i think. it still felt like she was flirting with him but he started challenging me with innocent seeming things but they immediately seemed alpha. he was essentially telling me various ways to improve. somehow we moved back on to jobs (it came up during class. she and i both teach. Im a religious school teacher) and we bonded (?) over the fact that we are both jewish. the fg tried to cut in. i don't remember what he said but it was kinda douchy. thats when she started her favorite phrase of the night "you're so european (in a sarcastic but definitely NOT put off kind of way)" (she said it A LOT that night, i don't recall the reasons, just more than I'm going to write) what he said was something about how guys are. I don't remember what but it was the opposite of mine. I started to say something like "i personally prefer to be straight about my intentions. I see no point in lying to a women. Id rather just be honest." but fg cut me off. she stopped him with her fav phrase and told me to finish (with a smile) but he cut me off again and the pattern repeated and I never actually finished.
at some point she noticed a pink tank top with the clubs name in the store and she said how bad she wanted it. she also said fg should get it. he said he'd like it (enter catch phrase) i noticed their shot glasses, which i collect. i didn't mention it yet.
one thing the fg kept telling me was to show my inner crazy. she decided she wanted to see the fg's crazy so she started throwing ice at him. she was trying get it in his shirt. it looked like a guy trying throw a jelly bean in a woman's cleavage (thank you scrubs). when she eventually succeeded he jumped up and mock chased her. in her panic she knocked over a beer. thats the first time she spilled on me (not a lot, but enough to tease her) and she ran onto the floor. I THINK that started the next event.
After that the music started again and someone said lets dance. Ive never danced before in my life. there were 2 disaster auditions involving a routine I had to learn on the fly and I never had a partner. this would also be the first time i touched HER because I had kino'd the other girl. the most id done to her was light touching. anyhow, id never danced, there were 3 guys and 2 girls so i just sat. the guys asked why i wasn't dancing but they didn't try to hard to get me up. I wanted to try but i didn't have the guts to do it on my own. It occurred to me that i needed some help. I knew the guys would either want to embarrass me or help me but either way they would do something so when each of them past, I "let slip" that Id never danced before. I think the emt was the one who started it. someone told the girls and they ran over and dragged me up. i pretended to put up a fight then trapped the one i wanted and danced with her. she seemed to get EXTREMELY into it, i practically felt her up, and she loved every second. I pulled her close swung her often to mix it up but i kept switching which side of her was pulled in and she loved it. when i was done everyone i came with told me how good i was. unfortunately we switched partners often and i don't think it was a coincidence that i got stuck with the other girl more. The way they seemed to get her was by stopping for whatever reason then coming back and claiming her so i decided to use the washroom so i could try switching. when i came back she was with fg and they were close. from my angle it looked like he kissed her then tried to again but she pulled away. i may have been mistaken, based on what happened next.
the 2 of them went outside for a cigarette and i got a little paranoid after what i thought i saw. i decided to get some fresh air, it was loud and stuffy anyways, and join them. i was worried id see them kissing again but they showed no signs of sexual tension and i felt relieved. a few minutes later a canadian guy walked outside and joined us. first he said he saw us dancing, then asked how many boy friends she had. when she said zero he began flirting, hard. ultimately she turned him down but it was so subtle that if i didn't read all those dating psychology books, i would have missed it, too. he tried to get her to go with, etc etc, then told her to join him when we came back in and he left. then fg noticed her nail polish matched a car parked outside and said some bs flirts about how it was hers and then he said he wanted a picture of her and the car. i guess i felt a little competitive after him and canada so i jumped in the picture with her. i threw my arm around her her shoulder and pulled her in. i don't remember if i saw her face but she didn't resist and i don't think she looked annoyed, though a little taken aback.
when we went back inside, she said she was using the washroom but she took a while. I turned around and saw her with Canada and she had her arms around him and was leaning reeeeaaaaal close. it looked like she was whispering in his ear.
she came back and i tried to get her to dance again. she said she was too tired, maybe later. she sat down on the other end of the table and once again, i got out skirted so instead of missing my chance to escalate, i stood at the head of the table. I would shift between leaning in and out but not rapidly, i don't think it was enough to turn her off. Canada came over to the table and tried to convince her to go with her. she said she couldn't go cause she had to be up early and had auditions all day and had to drive her friend so she could use her car (she mentioned the car when we were outside, i don't recall if it was when canada was there) and she was busy till the evening. he said this was his last night in town and they had a concert the next night nearby that she should go to. she said it sounded like fun. he said she had his #, presumably from during the hug, and he left. at this point fg was talking to the other girl so she started talking to the emt. i don't recall the whole convo so the next few parts are real broken up:
for some reason he was trying get her to slap him. he had a off sense of humor (which he had mentioned earlier) and thought it would be funny. she made a face like someone who was embarrassed and blushing pretty hard (but i don't recall seeing red) and she was shaking her head "no, no, i don't want to hurt you, no" then after a while she did but it was so soft it was painfully obvious she held back. I teased her about how weak it was and she did it again, harder. I laughed and said "that still looked pretty sad, come on, try me" she turned to me, made the same face "no, no, i don't want to hurt you, no" and i took off my glasses, stuck out my face, and smiled. she laughed and did it then i laughed because it was weak, though this time she obviously tried AND obviously didn't want to hurt me. something something something and she turned back to the 37 year old emt with 3 kids, that had pointed out at the beginning of the night that he WAS in fact single and the reason was complicated and his ex was nuts.
he was kino'ing her pretty hard so i moved and stood by the 2 of them so i could kino her to. she was facing him directly, she MAY HAVE moved a little when i came closer to face me but it was very little if so. at some point he touched her chin, delicately placed his finger underneath and lifted her face a little towards him. I felt threatened and before he could do anything i joined the conversation and did exactly the same thing. she pulled A LITTLE when i did but she didn't fight it and I was the one to remove my hand. after I did she chewed in to HIM (NOT ME) that you should never touch a girls face. then she piled on about how (at some point he must have) he referred to hebrew as jewish. she said its the name of a language, not the religion, and he was ignorant. I decided to show her I was part of her team by joining in. "She's right, it pisses off all jews. not just her." she turned to look at me, smiled and nodded, and said some sort of agreement. just kept piling on.
something something something.
the emt started trying make her laugh and she turned her face away from us both, pursed her lips and said stubbornly "no, i don't want to laugh" (thinking about it, there may not have been a something something something) so i laughed and said "are you kidding, its so easy to make her laugh" i remembered earlier when i laughed and she copied me so i leaned in, very obviously, and started repeating stuff along the lines of "look at me, come on, come on, look, right here, come on, look at me" she started to smile, and tried to look further away. "no, no, i don't want to look, i don't want to laugh, no" she almost squealed, clearly suppressing a laugh.
something something something.
she stood up and challenged me to a fight. she was laughing. she was doing that stereotypical movie pose where she's bouncing up and down with her arms to the sides "come on, bring it, come on" so I decided to exercise frame control and I was curious where it went so I stood up and mirrored her. she started bumping her stomach and chest against mine until she couldn't stop laughing and sat down.
something something something. i don't recall most of it but it included fg doing something that reminded her of her father. she said "see, that right there, thats exactly what my father would have done/said. you've been doing stuff like that all night daaad. daaaady." it didn't sound THAT flirty but still. she called him daddy.
Fg dragged her to the other room to dance. I was gonna ask but I thought she was done because i brought it up twice, both times too tired. the other girl was in the washroom so i talked to the emt. I don't know why i thought maybe he'd be on my side and help me out but i did. I saw fg as my main competition because of the way she talked to him and i stupidly asked for help. for a wingman. he said she's 23 and she's just looking for a good time. don't think too much about it and don't expect anything. considering how much she was flirting i figured he must be right but I'm not stupid enough to just do nothing.
this is when i start to remember a little better again. she came came back and said she was ready to go. after a few minutes everyone came over. everyone started getting names and numbers for facebook. i think emt started it but i don't really recall. just that it was him or me, that (i think) he beat me to her and i started with the other girls. then i got hers. it took a while to get hers because first she typed the wrong number. the way we did it was under messages she put her # in the to and her full name (for fbook) in the actual box. she accidentally put the area code backwards so i had a bad text with her name. then she tried again but i got a text from a friend i met here that was helping me and it popped up on my phone. she laughed, handed it back, and said something jokey that i don't quite remember "i think this is important/i think this is for you/etc" the text said "did you kiss her" i covered. i told her he was a buddy that lives in vegas and with the time change its hard to keep in touch and he likes to text multiple people at once. she kinda smiled and nodded or something and then put her number in the right way. since i already had her name on the dud text, i sent her MY name. I knew she wouldn't get it yet because she told canada when he mentioned her having his number that her phone had died "what, you don't believe me, you want me to show you?"
basically, at some point the next day, she would get a text from roughly 3 am with my name. i then got fg's email (i forgot the emt) to complete the cycle. he said he didn't have a phone but who's phone took the picture of her and me? was it on hers?
the other girl left via cab so she didn't need to wait and fg didn't want to leave yet so it was just me, her, and the emt in his car to drive me back to my car and then he'd drive her home alone. before we left, i told them to wait a moment then i bought a shot glass. when i got it, they were already outside. she asked me, annoyed, what the hold up was. then i said i was getting a shot glass. she asked with shock, "you stole it?" "no," i replied with a combo of teasing and disapproval because it was obvious, "i bought it, for my collection" she said "that is soo cool. can i see?" i pulled it out of my pocket and i think she grabbed my fingers when she took it, which would have been quite unnecessary. then she said started talking about how much she wanted the tank top again.
the emt used the remote start on his car and when she said how cool that was, he said it was what made him choose it because of all the cold nights at the fire house, he wanted to be able to warm his car up b4 he got in.
when he drove me back to my car, she and i bonded over the fact that we both love being on camera but nothing compares to being on live stage. the emt, stupidly, mentioned that he didn't have experience but he managed to hijack the convo again. we talked about how far he'd have to drive for both of them yet my car was the other direction and the club was basically on my way home, apparently. id never been there and my sense of direction sucks so i wouldn't know. she said i should have driven to so he wouldn't have to drive backwards. to me that means a) she an easy excuse not to have me in the car or b) a way to only be in the car with me. considering where she lived, it seemed more like a.
i got some advice from a texting group and they suggested i text her "Thanks for taking my dance floor virginity, even though my mind was telling me no but my body..... My body was telling me yes" At the time i figured callback humor, has a slight sexual undertone, would make her think about me. I haven't heard back, though there wasn't actually anything (that i can think of) to respond to.
she kept not wanting to drink her beer (i wasn't drinking period) because she said she didn't like that kind. she said she only liked one kind of beer. i teased her about that but so did everyone. my idea for monday, since she clearly feels a strong connection our religion, is to a) greet her with a hebrew translation for Hey, movie star (i was gonna do hey, super star but my buddy suggested movie star. thoughts?) or b) i was gonna write a note and subtly not-so-subtly pass it to her that has that phrase + "I don't like that kind of beer" I figure I'd get a big laugh when she asks what they mean. the logic for those 2 is because at the beginning of the night i mentioned in passing i was a religious school teacher and knew some hebrew and she got super into that.
i also want to make note that she hasn't accepted my facebook request and the french guy just did last night. apparently, my biggest threat with her got engaged back in may. i never would have guessed. i seriously doubt she knows.
Now back to my main question. HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH A FLIRT