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  • 3 Post By TheDuke
  • 1 Post By twentynine

Thread: Suddenly found myself in a long term relationship!

  1. #1
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
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    Default Suddenly found myself in a long term relationship!

    I write this post to hear the opinions of those with good experience among us, those with beards.

    I'm sure this happened to you at some point, you've been gaming for some good years and then at some point you wake up to realize that you've been seeing this same girl for more than 10 months and it is affecting your relationships with other HBs.

    Affecting it in a way that I can't (or probably not willing to) afford. Two months earlier I've had her and three others, few more months back they were five and it was all alright, no drama.

    Now I come to realize it's just her and an occasional close once every couple of weeks.

    It's a super tough decision on whether to keep going this way or going back to sarging. Last thing I want is going backwards in my game after all the things I spent time learning. It takes a lot of time and energy to be in a relationship.

    Discuss...

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Suddenly found myself in a long term relationship!

    If she's falling for you I would get the hell out, it doesn't seem like that would be mutual. If I feel like a girl is becoming emotionally attached or a clinger, I usually stop seeing her.. Unless I like her.. And that's how I ended up with the last HB9 I closed for 4 years. But that's another story lol.

    What does she want out of the relationship? If you guys are both cool with just hanging out and banging or whatever then why fix what ain't broken?

    How is she affecting you closing with other girls? Not sure I follow that part.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Suddenly found myself in a long term relationship!

    She's falling for me terribly, that is the problem. Yeah I like her but I probably can't be selfish here, she wants exclusive and I don't, I can't actually.

    She is affecting me by getting involved you know? Too much drama when she knows about it, and all the scenes when she's with me in public. I can't not open sets and you know she's not too easy going about it.

  4. #4
    ThtNikkaGP is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Suddenly found myself in a long term relationship!

    Just tell her your not looking for an exclusive relationship, and that you do like her but your looking for different things. Its better to just be straight up with her then to keep leading her on, that just sets up greater pain for both of you later. be honest in your intentions and who knows maybe she'll understand and agree to keep it non-exclusive.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Suddenly found myself in a long term relationship!

    Come on man, I've been having this conversation with her once a month for the past 9 or 10 months.
    I'm an honest guy I don't hide my intentions, I'm a sucker for direct approach.

    But just like I said it wasn't until now that I noticed the existence of this relationship. And now's the tough decision on whether to keep it or let it go before it "gets harder".

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Suddenly found myself in a long term relationship!

    Take responsibility for your behavior. Stating things like "I can't not open sets" makes you sound so absurd that it's laughable. That's something you choose to engage in, not something you have no control over. And, quite frankly, it's insulting to people who actually have ailments that they can't control.

    If you aren't into her like that then own up to it and break it off. That's the responsible and respectful thing to do. But don't come here and try to justify your behavior to us with bullshit excuses.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  7. #7
    ThtNikkaGP is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Suddenly found myself in a long term relationship!

    If you guys have had the this same convo every month for 9 or 10 months it should have been very clear that she wanted something more, so really there isn't any excuse, you either let her go or continue seeing her exclusively. with that said if you want to pursue other woman and she wants to be exclusive the only right thing to do is to move on and stop seeing her. like Duke said take responsibility for yourself, dont keep leading her on when you want more then her.

  8. #8
    DirtyOnPurpose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Suddenly found myself in a long term relationship!

    Duke, appreciate the passion. But I don't see how I'm giving you bullshit excuses when I'm admitting being selfish about it.

    I can't not open sets as in, it has become the right and natural thing to do for me when I'm out in public. I have built lots of connections over the past years that I have to maintain in public along with making new ones. PUA aside, it is key to my success in my domain and my career.

    To make it more obvious, I have a certain lifestyle that whoever wants to be with me must adapt to.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Suddenly found myself in a long term relationship!

    You don't want the kind of relationship she wants, and she has become attached. It is now your MORAL responsibility to cut it off, or let your conscience decide whether or not it's okay with you being selfish and dishonest with her. I've been in this situation before.

    Do the right thing and explain to her how you feel. You clearly like her, but are in a situation where you don't want to be exclusive to her. You will inevitably do this at some point.. The longer you wait the worse it will be, mainly for her.


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