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Thread: Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

  1. #1
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

    Hey guys, thanks for your time.

    Long story short: Met another girl online

    1st date: Awkward first kiss. We teased each other back and forth about it. Ended up doing 2nd date.

    2nd date: 5 hours, we ended up having an awesome makeout. She wouldn't let me into her place to use the restroom. Said it was a mess.

    3rd date - 2pm-midnight - 10 hours! Went to 5 different places.We didn't have much affection midway through, so I just took her and kissed her off the public street. She was a little shocked, but went with it, but not for long. At midnight when I dropped her off, we walked her dog. She took my hand. At the end of the night, we made out a little, but not as much as on the 2nd date. THIS confuses me. She said she had a nice time.

    Oh, and I suggested earlier that she show me something she talked about it her place and she said no, it's a mess from unpacking from her Thanksgiving trip.

    Any thoughts? I mean she spent 10 hours with me. She initiated hand holding. Also poked and leaned against me when we played darts. But the makeout was shorter. Any ideas? This throws me for a loop. Makes me want to just lean all the way back and no contact to see what happens. Downside is I leave for Chicago for a week on Friday.

    Or should I tell her I want to see her before I leave?

  2. #2
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

    Again, Ca, you cannot let these small little minor things compromise you. If you are on the rocks about her not kissing you more intensely on the 3rd date than the 2nd, you haven't even touched the tip of the iceberg yet on what some other PUAs go through. I mean just read through some of the threads.

    In short, you are eating off of a silver platter, while people elsewhere are struggling for bread crumbs. There's girls who don't return texts or fb message, girls who shirk away from kino, and most commonly flakey girls. People have it way worst than you.

    When you get paranoid about things like this, all it does is it reinforces ANXIETY (which is the anti-confidence). You are telling yourself on a subconscious level that "you are not good enough," when you should be saying the opposite.

    Start by appreciating the good progress rather than the bad. Getting a kiss is farther than many guys can get.

    There could be tons of reasons why she kissed you less. Maybe her energy level is low that night. Maybe something else is on her mind. It doesn't mean she likes you any less.

    As I brought up prior in a different post, I once dated a girl in my acting class long ago. This is before I knew any game. I was a high status individual in a class of 50 and highly in demand for comedy roles. I didn't have a car or a job. This girl always brought me home, then we would talk for a hour in the car, when I was out of town for the holidays, she left messages on my vm with a sexy voice to welcome me back. Strong interest target. HOWEVER, there were days, when I asked her to come out to hang out with me and my friend, but she rather stay home because she was tired or just didn't feel like it. Would I get all anxious about it? No. Why? Because it doesn't mean she liked me any less.

    When you have an abundance mentality, small things like this don't bug you. It's like...whatever.

    If you did your homework and your breath doesn't wreak and you have no body odor, then it's not you. And it's all you need to care about.

    Oh yes, and do tell her you want to see her before you leave. Heck, that is what I am doing with the girl I am working on and I have it way harder than you because my HB target has a bf for 2 years that she lives with. In short, I told her that it will be great if we can get sushi together before I leave because we won't see each other for a month. And if I get swept away by a tsunami or a volcano erupts under me, she may never see me again.
    (notice how I reframe? Rather than "I won't see you again - as if I need her - to "you won't see me again" = Higher value and less needy. A confident innergame will automatically cause/change what you say and how you act in ways you won't realize til after.)

  3. #3
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

    You are a zenmaster.

    That slight chance to 'might not see me again' is amazing and fun.

    I will keep rereading this. I'll let you know how it goes.

    I am out of town on Friday. Thinking of asking her for Wednesday. Agree?

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

    Hehe, Wednesday is when my date is set and I leave Thursday the 12th. Sounds like a good day to me!

    May the force be with you.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

    Aight let's check in and see how it goes after with each other's dates

    Btw should I be texting the other girl?

    Haven't heard from her since she flaked on Friday when we rescheduled for Thursday.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

    Always good to have several girls in your texting rotation, maintain playful persistence, low expectation when you hit them up to meet for a date.

    And even though you can't meet her for a date, it's always a good habit to text them to "stay on their radar" or what is referred to a "holding pattern" text. PUA coach Bobby Rio once told me that it can take him close to a year to finally get a girl out, and when she said 'yes' it was when he least expected it (because he kept expectations low and never overplanned a date).

    There are some good resources out there for texting game. Some free guides here by T-Mal. The key lock sequence method is very effective.
    1. Ping/Opener text to spark an emotional response to feel her out.
    2. A follow up text that relates to something and re-establish the connection that only u 2 share (with that girl).
    3. Seal the deal and set date.

  7. #7
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

    Thanks for the links.

    I have used the texting a few times before setting the date.

    In this case, we already have Thursday setup. Does that alter the rotation?

  8. #8
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

    Nah, you will usually have one girl that is the primary girl you are most interested in.

    The other girls are just there as a fall back. You might text them once a week or even once a month to stay on their radar and/or even try to invite them out on something casual. If one girl starts getting flaky and/or is going cold, then you have other girls to keep you busy, especially if you freezing out one particular girl.

  9. #9
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

    Thanks.

    I did some textgame last night with the flake girl. Opened with something funny that only we talk about. That got an immediate response. I went rapid fire for a few, then dropped away at night. Finally I texted her at like 10:30 (believe it or not, while I was in another chick's bathroom LOL)..And I got a response at 6am.

    I'll leave it there. Reschedule Girl #2 on track.

    Girl #1, the date from Saturday, the true target, still has not contacted me.

  10. #10
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Expert PUAs: What's going on with this THIRD date?

    Quote Originally Posted by CaConfused View Post
    Thanks.

    I did some textgame last night with the flake girl. Opened with something funny that only we talk about. That got an immediate response. I went rapid fire for a few, then dropped away at night. Finally I texted her at like 10:30 (believe it or not, while I was in another chick's bathroom LOL)..And I got a response at 6am.

    I'll leave it there. Reschedule Girl #2 on track.

    Girl #1, the date from Saturday, the true target, still has not contacted me.
    More to come....in next message.


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