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Thread: How to get from Friends with Benifits to dating.

  1. #1
    TurtleHermit's Avatar
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    Default How to get from Friends with Benifits to dating.

    Need advice with my friend, Long long term friend who last year started having relations with me, somewhere along the road I was like its my bF and the sex is wicked how does this not get any better. She on the other hand just wants things to stay the same, says shes not ready for any commitment.

    thoughts,
    Enlightenment for a wave in the ocean is the moment the wave realises that it is water. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

  2. #2
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    Default Re: How to get from Friends with Benifits to dating.

    I never believe a girl when she says she isn't ready for commitment, but that's just because I've been burned enough times by that line.
    I don't have enough information to really understand the situation, but generally you don't want to be the one pushing for the relationship. Let the girl be the one begging you to commit.

  3. #3
    maxtazm is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to get from Friends with Benifits to dating.

    treat her like a girlfriend. hold hands while walking outside, kiss and hug in public. get to know each other a little more deeply. and BOOM your relationship will be redefined as boyfriend girlfriend, and probably exclusive. good luck with that if its really what you want.

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    Default Re: How to get from Friends with Benifits to dating.

    Quote Originally Posted by maxtazm View Post
    treat her like a girlfriend. hold hands while walking outside, kiss and hug in public. get to know each other a little more deeply. and BOOM your relationship will be redefined as boyfriend girlfriend, and probably exclusive. good luck with that if its really what you want.
    No. Don't plainly pressure her into something she definitely doesn't want. This will make her run.

    To be honest, I've noticed that it's hard to find a girl that really wants what you want. Just enjoy what you have together, and always let the attention try and stand at her giving you a little more, 60-40.

    Whatever you're doing is working. Try and add a little more flair. Be more spontaneous, don't be predictable. Being her friend means she knows a lot about you already. Try and do stuff with her that she would NEVER imagine. This may make her look at your as a better long-term choice.
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    Feel free to disagree with my opinions. I encourage it!

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    Jok3r is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How to get from Friends with Benifits to dating.

    Girl who is your friend + no sex = friend
    Girl who is not your friend + sex = hooker/one-night stand
    Girl who is your friend + sex = girlfriend

    Girlfriend/Friends with benefits, it's all the same shit if you are being exclusive! Don't worry about nomenclature, enjoy the sex and everything else.

    I did a cold read on a girl a short time ago about this: women that are so afraid of naming someone as their boyfriend have been somewhat traumatized in the past. A relationship that went wrong and she got hurt, felt like she lost her freedom for nothing. That's why they turn sceptical concerning relationships.

    Yet again, a "no" is not a no. It's just a chance to try again (I know yeah, sounding like a rapist). If she wants space, don't give her much space. You shouldn't listen to what she says, listen to what you want and act accordingly. Let the laws of the university do the rest while you enjoy yourself. Relax.

    Jok3r
    Veni, vidi, vici.

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    Default Re: How to get from Friends with Benifits to dating.

    Listen to the general and konman. They hit it pretty spot on. I agree with the general however. The "im not ready for a commitment" is an excuse. It's a line just like "I dont know what I want" or any other excuse women have. Like David X likes to say "If her favorite actor or musician walked in she would make herself ready".

    You can't always believe what they say. If your hooking up with her great. Keep doing it. Whatever you do, do not push for a relationship. Let her bring that up. Also be aware that she could be looking for something else and she might find it. Then all the sudden she will "be ready" with someone else. It is what it is. If she doesn't want to commit to anything your a free man my friend. Keep hunting.


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