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  1. #1
    benchase22 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default plenty of fish "about me". feedback please

    My name is Ben. My personal record for being alive is 22 years and i hope that i can keep breaking that record for as long as I can. My strategy for it is pretty simple, live! Live, as in eating right (most of the time), working, working out, hanging out with friends and family, and going out. That is just what works for me. Meeting new people and trying new things is standard for me, especially when I travel for work. Traveling to different parts of the country and observing different lifestyles lets me find out more about myself and what I am into, which I LOVE! If you would like to have a good experience with me and add more amazing adventures to your life, then feel free to say something, something other than "hey whats up?".

    I think I could use a better ending to this paragraph, but i will take feedback on the whole thing.

  2. #2
    Sh0wtyme99 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: plenty of fish "about me". feedback please

    i like it. I would probably put some of the adventurous things in there that you do. And make sure you have many exciting pics. Not just suave and cool. I esp like the personal record bit. yoink!!!!! At the end I would not say : If you would like to have a good experience.. That sounds like a corny network marketing end of the presentation sales pitch. "Sign up here and we can start you at the bonus level membership to sell our super juice." I would say along the lines of: "Don't think I don't see you looking all on my page. Ya might as well say more original than : Hey What's up #snoozebutton" i dunno that was off the top of the dome #Andis ... (get it?)

  3. #3
    maxtazm is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: plenty of fish "about me". feedback please

    i don't like the personal record for being alive joke. maybe it's just my personal sense of humor, but i can see some girls thinking it's cute. Other than that it's ok, I might suggest being more specific about the places you like to travel to and why, what's so great about them? how do they make you feel? Also same thing for the "different lifestyles" you enjoy observing. Don't be afraid to be specific, it shows you are solid in who you are and your preferences.

  4. #4
    konman's Avatar
    konman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: plenty of fish "about me". feedback please

    I like it. You didn't just list of things you like. You went into things that are important to you (values are much more important than simple interests) like how you appreciate your health, enjoy exploration, and want meaningful relationships with other people.

    hanging out with friends and family
    So cliche. Just skip that part. BORING

    If you would like to have a good experience with me and add more amazing adventures to your life, then feel free to say something, something other than "hey whats up?".
    If? A girl should be begging you to talk to her. You're not just a suggestion!

    "I'm a guaranteed amazing experience, if that's something you can handle then say hi!"

    Don't write off the ones that say just "hi whats up". Those have been some of my most interesting one night flings, lol.

    Good luck!
    _________
    __________________
    Discovering PUA one step at a time.

    Feel free to disagree with my opinions. I encourage it!

  5. #5
    benchase22 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: plenty of fish "about me". feedback please

    i was thinking that if i suggest to them to say something other then "hey whats up", then it would make me more of a challenge. They would have to be a little more clever to get my attention.


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