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Thread: being transparent bad or good?

  1. #11
    Hopeful33's Avatar
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    well im not sure if this has to do with me being transparent but basically every date ive been on in the past two years have all went bad because i never hear from the girl again even if they were the one that asked me to go out with them.
    im on a different level

  2. #12
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    Well stop murdering them.

    Sorry, I'm in a goofy mood and had to get that out. What makes you think transparency has anything to do with it? Transparent about what?

  3. #13
    Hopeful33's Avatar
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    i have no clue man im just trying to think of why all my dates have went wrong or even when i thought they went ok i never hear from the girl again. its embarrassing so i thought maybe its because im to transparent? idk
    im on a different level

  4. #14
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    Great post, Duke!

    I want to add that I think a lot of guys develop a certain fear deep down after learning about congruence. I think there is quite a common uneasyness that comes along with the idea of just being yourself around a woman you are attracted to, especially as a means of trying to court her and make her desire you.

    It all comes back to self improvement.. If deep down you don't like things about yourself, you may find it difficult to reach the level of congruence that TheDuke is talking about.. This is why I always come back to the idea that improving yourself, building your confidence, and becoming the person you truly want to be is the number one BEST thing you can do to attract people and to be successful with women.

    It is better to be easy to read than to be hard to read and a fake. Confidence and honesty are a good combination. Focus on yourself and don't worry too much about what these girls think of you.. You'll be just fine.

  5. #15
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    so i have been trying to game these 2 different girls for a couple of weeks now. apparently one of them already knows im already crazy about her. i have barely even flirted with her! she also knew i liked the other girl. one of my friends told me that i am the most transparent person she knows. so im not sure if that is bad or if girls like that? because i didnt know i was so readable, so im kinda worried its a bad thing that a girl can tell that fast i already like them. what should i do guys?
    being transparent is a great thing if you're using direct game. the more honest you are the better direct game will work for you. keeping your intentions clear will save you a lot of time and effort.

  6. #16
    Hopeful33's Avatar
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    so in direct game i would go ahead and just tell them i think they are stunning or whatever i think they are? i usually use indirect game every time
    im on a different level

  7. #17
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hopeful33 View Post
    so in direct game i would go ahead and just tell them i think they are stunning or whatever i think they are? i usually use indirect game every time
    Yes! Your being indirect yet the women can see your intentions very easily. This causes you to be incongruent. They know you are into them but you're acting like you're not. The easiest way to fix this is to go direct like everyone else has told you. Indirect can work great for some people, but for others direct game is way more congruent with their personality. I believe this statement applies to you. You aren't getting second dates to begin with, so what do you have to lose? Tell her how beautiful you think she is, and after you have a good conversation with her, compliment her on aspects of her personality you enjoy. The more unique your compliments the better. Every woman has unique attributes so this should be easy. Let us know how it works out for you.


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