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Thread: being transparent bad or good?

  1. #1
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    Default being transparent bad or good?

    so i have been trying to game these 2 different girls for a couple of weeks now. apparently one of them already knows im already crazy about her. i have barely even flirted with her! she also knew i liked the other girl. one of my friends told me that i am the most transparent person she knows. so im not sure if that is bad or if girls like that? because i didnt know i was so readable, so im kinda worried its a bad thing that a girl can tell that fast i already like them. what should i do guys?
    im on a different level

  2. #2
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    This post made me laugh. Not because of your predicament but because I am the EXACT opposite of you. Women are always telling me they can't read me and they don't know if I'm joking or not. This leads to ALLOT of these questions "what are you thinking about?". To be honest not being able to read me drives women crazy and they have told me such.

    On the flip side I don't think being transparent is a bad thing. You shouldn't be hiding you intentions anyways! If you are extremely readable you should be going very direct from the get go. There's no reason for you to be indirect because they know your intentions anyway.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    ya just be honest about what you want. Oh and always go for the hotter girl first. if you get the hot girl, then you can easily fuck her less hot friends. but if you get the ugly one first the hot one wont give you a chance

  4. #4
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    Quote Originally Posted by maxtazm View Post
    ya just be honest about what you want. Oh and always go for the hotter girl first. if you get the hot girl, then you can easily fark her less hot friends. but if you get the ugly one first the hot one wont give you a chance
    I disagree. I don't think going for the 'hotter' girl is any thing you should be concerned with. This is shallow and irrelevant if you're not attracted to her personality.

    Also, being honest about what you want is a horrible idea. If we all did that, going up to a girl and telling her you want to fark would be a standard pick-up line. It can work, but very rarely. I wouldn't recommend it if you're inexperienced lol.

    Be spontaneous and unpredictable. Being predictable is boring. The fact that the girl knows you're into her isn't horrible since they might assume this if you talk to them in the first place, but it sounds like you've come on too strong somehow if she's so definite about it. Could there be some sort of friend relaying your 'secrets' to your crush?

    On the other hand, I've seen first hand the power of talking to two women at the same time. It actually amps up your image as they can get jealous and start to somewhat fight for your attention. Think about how you can use this to your advantage.
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    Quote Originally Posted by konman View Post
    Also, being honest about what you want is a horrible idea. If we all did that, going up to a girl and telling her you want to fark would be a standard pick-up line. It can work, but very rarely. I wouldn't recommend it if you're inexperienced lol.
    I am going to wholeheartedly disagree with you on this. Being honest is THE best way. You wouldn't believe the things I've said to women. I wouldn't believe it 4 years ago! I'm talking about saying EXACTLY what your thinking. No holds bars type sh$t. The results are simply amazing and it's changed my game and outlook tremendously.

    This is after gaining ALLOT of confidence and getting to the point of knowing when a girl is into me. I'm not saying this can backfire because it can. I would have gotten slapped for saying some of the stuff I've said recently if I had said it 5 years ago.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    Being "readable" and being "transparent" are two different things.

    Being readable implies that others can see through you. Implicitly this suggests that you're likely not in control of your emotions and you're not controlling your state well. This is bad regardless of how you look at it.

    You want to be able to control how others perceive you. If you have no control over others' perceptions of you you're fighting a losing battle from the get-go.

    Being transparent, on the other hand, implies honesty and openness. I believe that being transparent, open, and honest is very powerful. It should be used and it should be internalized.

    Unlike the poster above me, I don't believe that being transparent means that you walk up to women and tell them you want to fuck. Actually, it's quite the contrary. Being transparent and honest actually means aligning your outward communication (what you say, what you do, how you present yourself, etc.) with your inner feelings.

    This means that if you are attracted to someone, you are not ashamed of it, but will display that attraction openly and honestly. This also means that if you are angry with someone, you don't say that you're not.

    Basically, what I am talking about is congruence. Congruence is essential to any successful relationship, and starts by being honest with yourself.

    If someone is telling you that you are very "readable," what they are likely telling you is that there is an incongruence in your inner and outer self. When someone is incongruent we can detect it very easily. This is actually a defense mechanism that arose from apes and the ability to predict other's intentions in order to protect oneself. It is the reason why the vast majority of people are "bad liars."

    Meanwhile, if your honest with yourself and others, than you are in control of how much you show other people. People won't detect these incongruences because you're not being incongruent. You may choose to guard certain things, but you're not trying to mask them.

    A good application of all this is to simply act in accordance with what you are thinking, and think in accordance with the way you're acting. For example, if you're introducing yourself to someone, don't think that you want to fuck them, think that you want to get to know them. Be sincere in this belief. Take an active interest in the other person and mean it. This isn't "indirect" game because you're not going into the interaction with an ulterior motive. It is actual direct because you are expressing that which you are feeling. Once you have built attraction then decide whether or not you want to pursue this person sexually. If you do, then switch your motivation and change your actions to match that switch.
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  7. #7
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    Awesome post TheDuke!!

    I think the problem is that some people think that to be able to be successful with women, they need to be more like "a PUA". This is the wrong way around it.

    As soon as you think that a requirement for success implies you being a different person from yourself, you're farking lost.

    I've been twice as successful ever since I started being like myself (wow, right?). I have plenty of different hobbies, likes and dislikes: I love writing and I write well (I've always hidden this one, it's gay isn't it?); I'm a competitive athlete (never hidden this one...); a good cook; have a broad musical taste...

    My focus had been the wrong one: "I need to be like a PUA to pick-up this girl".

    Forget about outcomes when you talk! The beauty of life is in having a dream. Turning that dream into reality is just the icing on top of the cake! Be happy with the journey of trying to achieve, achieving a goal only leads to short-lasting happiness.

    Be real, be transparent as shit. Because the more you love yourself, the more loved you will be. The maker of your own world. Let everyone read this from you: you dictate the pace of life, no if's and no but's.

    Jok3r
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  8. #8
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    I am going to wholeheartedly disagree with you on this. Being honest is THE best way. You wouldn't believe the things I've said to women. I wouldn't believe it 4 years ago! I'm talking about saying EXACTLY what your thinking. No holds bars type sh$t. The results are simply amazing and it's changed my game and outlook tremendously.

    This is after gaining ALLOT of confidence and getting to the point of knowing when a girl is into me. I'm not saying this can backfire because it can. I would have gotten slapped for saying some of the stuff I've said recently if I had said it 5 years ago.
    I agree with you in that sense. Sorry for misleading with that post. I'm also bold as hell now-a-days. I had the feeling this was going to turn into "tell her your feelings" kind of deal. Be bold with your thoughts, but don't reveal how much you "need" her or anything like that.

    Also, thanks for clearing up my confusion with being readable and transparent. I enjoyed that.
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  9. #9
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    Quote Originally Posted by TheDuke View Post
    Unlike the poster above me, I don't believe that being transparent means that you walk up to women and tell them you want to fark. Actually, it's quite the contrary. Being transparent and honest actually means aligning your outward communication (what you say, what you do, how you present yourself, etc.) with your inner feelings.
    I totally agree with you. I wasn't implying you should walk up to a girl and say that. I should have been more clear about that. What I was implying is that you should do exactly what you explained in your post. That's the same outlook I have. However you can be extremely bold once you've shown genuine interest and she has shown genuine interest in you. Then you can say stuff like that and they really enjoy it.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: being transparent bad or good?

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    I totally agree with you. I wasn't implying you should walk up to a girl and say that. I should have been more clear about that. What I was implying is that you should do exactly what you explained in your post. That's the same outlook I have. However you can be extremely bold once you've shown genuine interest and she has shown genuine interest in you. Then you can say stuff like that and they really enjoy it.
    And I should clarify by stating that you made a post as I was writing my post :P
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