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Thread: Afraid I'm gonna lose my FWB

  1. #1
    johnny_perez420 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Afraid I'm gonna lose my FWB

    I have a FWB, we typically go out and hook up once a week. I like her, the sex is great, I wouldn't mind settling down for a girlfriend but she clearly doesn't want that (and I don't act as if I do when I know she doesn't). I know she wants a boyfriend and to settle down too, just not with me (at least I don't think with me).

    She tells me about guys she goes out with, dates she is going to go on, etc. IDK if she's trying to make me jealous or what. I usually change the subject pretty soon and don't talk about her and other guys. I'm just worried she'll find a guy she actually wants to settle down with then it'll be over between me and her. I know FWB are usually temporary but what can I do to try to prevent this? We do boyfriend/girlfriend things together - I met her friends and she met mine (its like we're dating, but open relationship i guess).

    What would you do to prevent this? I wouldn't mind making her my girlfriend and being exclusive but I always hear girls should be the one who pushes this, not guys. Any Advice to not lose this girl? FYI I don't act need one bit. Not at all.

  2. #2
    The Red Baron's Avatar
    The Red Baron is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Afraid I'm gonna lose my FWB

    You don't have to change the subject, you could even react positively when she talks about other dates - "OMG he sounds like such a great guy!"

    About girls pushing for a relationship - we believe its the girls who push, but in reality guys ask for a relationship the majority of the time. So don't get too caught up on that. It's more advantageous if they ask you, but there's nothing wrong with asking them if its all there. My current girlfriend - I asked her.

    About her saying she doesn't want a relationship with you -
    I dated a girl who said day 1 "I'm definitely not looking for a relationship."
    When it finally ended through a lot of weird emotional crap I learned that was what she wanted the whole dang time. She was just trying to protect herself because she knew that I didn't want one.

    Next, depending on what "date stuff" you do, that would be my next suggestion, do some real girlfriend like crap. Bring her to the zoo, cook her dinner, etc.

    I wouldn't ask her out of the blue, but if the conversation comes up, you could slip it in there - hey, you want to try us dating for a little bit? Like, really dating?
    Never need praise, sympathy, or approval



  3. #3
    Dizzie's Avatar
    Dizzie is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Afraid I'm gonna lose my FWB

    Tough situation man. I've been there before. There's really no single technique that is going to get you what you want. My best recommendation is embrace an abundance mentality and start seeing other women if you aren't already. If she's talking about dates that she goes on with other guys, you should be hinting to her that you've been seeing other women as well. When you have true abundance in your life, you won't care so much about losing a single FWB because you'll have other options at your disposal. That being said, she still might be open to a relationship. Right now she's getting everything she wants from you so why would she push for an LTR? My recommendation is this, start being a challenge and not so available to her. When she asks to set a date for a hangout, say you are busy that night but you can do the next day. Actually go on dates with other women and let her know that you are out exploring your options. Gauge her reaction and behaviour afterwards. You'll be able to get a better idea of what her interest level is when you start doing these things. Then you could talk about a relationship. If all else fails, ask her anyways if that's how you feel. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take but if she says no them move on to the next.

  4. #4
    marvilo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Afraid I'm gonna lose my FWB

    I disagree, you shouldn't tell her about your exploit. If you really want to be fwb with her then let her go on dates and whatever with the other guys because at the end of the say you're hooking up with her and those guys put in all the work and sometimes get nothing out of it. Feelings like jealousy sometimes ruin fwb.
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  5. #5
    johnny_perez420 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Afraid I'm gonna lose my FWB

    Some good advice guys! I'm definitely thinking I need to hint more that I'm seeing other girls too. She already thinks I'm a player and she's seen many of the girls I've dated/talk to. Like I said before, the sex is great. I mean last time she came over to my place we did 5+ rounds the entire time till we were both sore.

    She's also told me she wants to have a threesome (its her sexual fantasy). I'm thinking I could hint that I'm seeing other girls and bring up the threesome at the same time. Like next time she comes over, I'll go on this girls facebook and tell her "I know a girl who is probably down for a threesome, I'm gonna chill with her tomorrow and I could find out if you're down". I've hooked up with the girl I'm thinking of a few times but in reality I really doubt she'd be down.

    Is it also a good/bad idea to ask her if she's looking for a boyfriend when she talks about other guys (without implying I am looking for one)? I'm sure if I asked she'd ask me as well... If she did I'd probably say I'm just having fun in life right now, but if it leads to one with someone I liked then that would be great.


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