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  1. #1
    umbongo is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Messed up in a club with new girl - what next?

    So I've been seeing this girl on my course at Uni for a few weeks - mostly while hanging out with other mutual friends from the course on fun outings but also on a couple of more 'formal' activity dates with just the two of us. She said she really liked me but that she wanted to take things slow, but eventually last weekend on a group trip for the weekend to a different city I was able to take the initiative and kiss her at the end of the day for two days in a row. My only worry was that maybe I was acting a bit too happy/polite/supplicating/considerate around her at this point - e.g. usually being the one to message her first and pointing out things we would pass by which I knew she liked.

    During last week we were both pretty busy but I managed to see her once more, but then on the Friday we were all going to a club with the rest of the people on our course, so it kind of went without saying that we would see each other there.

    So how things played out:
    1. She was there hanging out with some close friends who were leaving for a month for Christmas the next day.
    2. I was having a good time with guy friends when she arrived so acknowledged her but didn't go straight over to her
    3. When I went to see her later and asked her for a drink, she turned out to be in the process of going for a cigarette with a friend, but said she'd come back
    4. In that time I managed to get caught up having fun with some guy friends - did some shots, smoked a bit of weed and probably started getting a bit silly
    5. I didn't see her for a while, but then when I did my one friend who knew about us said she was looking at me and I should go up to dance with her now (even though she was with her friends still) - so without thinking much I just strutted up to her happily and took her hand - to which she just said rudely "no" ...

    So I was a bit surprised, walked off, then came back a bit later and danced in the group as if nothing had happened, not paying any attention to her. Not too long afterwards she came up to me in particular, looking a bit coldly somehow, and said she was leaving now, I said stone-faced "okay, bye", then she said in the end while leaving "I will text you".

    That was Friday, now it's Sunday and no message yet.

    I see her in class tomorrow - should I just ignore her? Or if I pass by her should I just stop her and call her out on having been rude to me? Though also maybe she was pissed off at me that I'd spent most the night away from her.

    I know with my ex things went downhill because I pretended I wasn't that bothered when she acted like a bitch to or in front of me, so I'm wondering if I should do something different with this girl.

    Either way, she's certainly down from any kind of pedestal I might have been putting her on, and while I had felt myself falling for her before, I'm not afraid to lose her.


  2. #2
    NoctisCaelumPUA's Avatar
    NoctisCaelumPUA is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Messed up in a club with new girl - what next?

    Aww dude sorry this happened. Don't regret it though never regret it. However you have successfully put yourself in the Dog House. Essentially meaning "No Man's Land" where you are pissed at her and she is pissed at you. I hate going here as this is usually I auto-reject a girl when she rejects me so after that I throw in the towel.

    I think you should throw in the towel but yeah you shouldn't have rejected her like that saying "Okay bye" all rude cuz underneath you rejected her which you could have flirted with her and got her to come around as in go home with her.

    But instead it played out the way she predicted. But yeah in the future Kino is a very special skill. In essence? You approached her wrong. Your game was off. The way you described "I took her hand" sounds extremely needy and was probably a pretty validation hungry vibe you were putting off in essence you were not confident and made it a "thing" to grab her hand. Everytime you make Kino the focus it becomes uncomfortable for them.

    So next time never ever focus on the Kino. Just go up run your routines, spit out a few words and let your body language mimic hers along with naturally based on calibration and positive feedback putting the kino moves on her but only natural through the seduction not making it a focal point. Every time you do that they gladly return the favor but you made it like holding her hand was the goal.

    For instance one time in the Club one night when my game was on point I was walking down the stairs and I see an HB who just walked in a solid 9. Gosh she was looking freaking amazing, 3 Set. I looked at her with eyes of determination "What's going on?!!" "Where's the DJ at?" Obviously this was a false question but I played along and immediately grabbed her hand without looking feeling confidence bursting at the seems. She felt it. "This is FUN!" she said as I lead her to the dancefloor. I showed her the DJ but knew something was up so we stood there for a second. I said "let's grab a drink" this was a mini-bounce compliance test to get her number and I immediately grabbed her hand and walked her across the Club. Got her a drink (granted it was lame but I had no other technique to think of and just winged it) and her number in the process. Granted I need to be a better texter and better closer but I am working on that.
    101 Sets, 30 #'s, 4 K-closes, 1 Date, 1 Bar Pull. My next adventure starts Summer 2014 at the Brewfest, Water Park, Bars, Clubs, etc. Getting Hotels now to prevent driving drunk so really only 2-3 times a month doing Night Game June-Oct. Lots of Day Game.

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