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Thread: She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

  1. #1
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

    Hey guys -- so I've been dating this girl for a month. Haven't had sex yet. Everything but.

    A week ago on our 6th date she asked "I'll give you a billion dollars if you take me to the airport next week." I was a little taken aback, couldn't think of an excuse not to and said "OK, but you have to go with me to [this date] sometime next week." She agreed immediately.

    So on our 7th date yesterday, on the way to her car at 2am she said 'so I'll see you Sunday." And I responded "I have a party late Saturday, so I might need to just drive to your place after and sleep so I can get right up and take you"

    I don't like that I made myself available to take her to airport.

    I do like that she knows I'm going to a party Saturday.

    I kinda don't like that I'm going right to her place after.

    Analysis: Should I just go home, sleep, and pick her up in morning, even though she thinks I might come right after party?

    Or do you have another option?

  2. #2
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

    Either:

    - take her to the party

    - go to the party, have fun, then go to her place, seal the deal
    Seduction is a martial art. Reading books and talking to experts is important, and helpful. But you won't progress unless you go out there and fight.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

    It's a tricky situation. Since your boyfriend, obviously you're expected to pay a certain degree of attention more to her than you would have before. I would say though that there is a point where no is no for doing things.

    I do not believe you have struck this point though. She legitimately needs your help, so you should offer it. I would say to not jump into sex so quickly, and I would say to not worry about making yourself too available. By going to the party, you're already limiting your availability. In addition, you're getting her to commit to something that you want in return for your services. You can go to the party, and you can spend the night because it makes it easier to get her the next day. Just don't do anything more than chatting with her for a bit and then sleeping.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  4. #4
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    Default Re: She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

    You already said you'd go to her place, so go to her place. Don't define the relationship before sex. You're already in a bad frame, bending over backwards for her.

    The favor is nice to do. I'm confused why you're her boyfriend. 7 dates and no sex isn't enough to call a girl my girlfriend.

    Also, don't make the ultimatum something she should want to do. "I'll do this chore for you (airport) if you do this chore for me (go on a date)" The framing is really bad.

    Good luck!
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  5. #5
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

    Quote Originally Posted by cdharders View Post
    You already said you'd go to her place, so go to her place. Don't define the relationship before sex. You're already in a bad frame, bending over backwards for her.

    The favor is nice to do. I'm confused why you're her boyfriend. 7 dates and no sex isn't enough to call a girl my girlfriend.

    Also, don't make the ultimatum something she should want to do. "I'll do this chore for you (airport) if you do this chore for me (go on a date)" The framing is really bad.

    Good luck!
    I'm not her boyfriend. Only 6 dates. I agree on the framing. I was taken aback and couldn't think of something for her to do for me. :/

    So I went over there at like midnight after the party. Light making out. Nothing much. I was tired. We cuddled some. Dropped her at airport at 4am. She was being sarcastic, picking on me more than her usual self. Maybe she subconsciously is devaluing me?

  6. #6
    cdharders's Avatar
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    Default Re: She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

    Of course she is. You are a glorified teddy bear. I don't mean that as an insult, just letting you understand the reality of the situation.

    Don't know why I thought I read the boyfriend thing...

    I'd take a back seat to this interaction for a bit if I were you.

    I'm sure you know by now. Favors aren't a good thing if you haven't had sex. Even if you've had sex, they aren't amazing. Certainly before though
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  7. #7
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    Default Re: She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

    Quote Originally Posted by cdharders View Post
    Of course she is. You are a glorified teddy bear. I don't mean that as an insult, just letting you understand the reality of the situation.

    Don't know why I thought I read the boyfriend thing...

    I'd take a back seat to this interaction for a bit if I were you.

    I'm sure you know by now. Favors aren't a good thing if you haven't had sex. Even if you've had sex, they aren't amazing. Certainly before though
    Thanks and I agree. I didn't want to do the favor. I just had nothing at top of tongue to deflect it.

    Backseat to what interaction? Back away from her altogether? She probably starts 80% of all text interactions. I could scale that all the way back too.

    We do have a standing date for her to come to my New Year's party. She was initially non-committal because she wasn't sure if her two close friends would come, but now they're all coming. She brought that up immediately when I saw her at the airport thing.

  8. #8
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

    Just want to add to this. I am really sure that you're correct.

    She's away from the holidays... she sent me a slew of texts just once in the morning, telling me a funny story about how her Dad wanted her to sleep on this bed made of stone (its art).

    I told her "Wow, you have to sleep on a stone bed during the holidays? Sounds like someone has been a naughty girl..."

    Two days later and she hasn't responded.

    She doesn't respond to that in 48 hours from someone she's on her 6th date with? I don't care if she's busy or not.. don't you think that speaks volumes?

    Another thing I did that maybe I shouldn't have is the day before she went out of town, I asked her to come to my New Year's Party.

    She said "why do you need to know now, do you have other dates you'll ask if i dont come?" I replied "Yep, totally. So let me know ASAP." - I thought I handled that perfectly.

    She tentatively said yes, then told me immediately the next day yes. But that was Dec 19, and New Years is Dec 30. I probably gave her too much comfort.

    I dont know. Any other thoughts? As small a thing as it is, the non-response to the flirty text has me annoyed.

  9. #9
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

    UPDATE: 36 hours later, she replied to my flirty text with a picture of a blushing Christmas ornament.

  10. #10
    Mikalichov is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: She asked me a Favor - Did I make myself too available?

    You're a bit too focused, are you chatting with other girls at the same time?
    Seduction is a martial art. Reading books and talking to experts is important, and helpful. But you won't progress unless you go out there and fight.


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