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Thread: Recovery Help!!

  1. #1
    PD123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Recovery Help!!

    We were chatting on tinder then I got her number and now i'm stuck here's the convo, if you don't wanna read it all just go to the last part
    ---------
    Me: Hey
    Her: Sup
    Me: Not much, chillin watching community, hbu?
    Her: Watching the habs game
    Me: That's cool, so how's tinder on a tuesday night going haha
    Her: Aha pretty rad
    Her: I finished today so
    Me: Fantastic description I feel like I've found the JK Rowling of text messaging lol, what'd you finish today?
    Her: Well aren't you sassy
    Her: My exams aha
    Me: Conversations need some sass sometimes haha, nice I've been done since like the 6th
    Her: Cool
    Me: Yep, so what are you studying in school?
    Her: Everything I'm in high school
    Me: Oh true aha well what do you wanna study after high school
    Her: Law and history and political sciences
    Me: That's cool! So other than law and history and poli-sci what else are you into
    Her: I'm not into hockey aha I'm just at my friends house so we're watching it. HE'S into hockey
    Her: Mm I like canoe trip and volleyball and basketball
    Me: I played basketball in like grade 9 and 10 but you'd probably be able to whoop me aha I'm brutal now
    Her: Aha naw
    Her: I'm not that good
    Her: I just really like it
    Me: Hmm idk I haven't played in a couple years so compared to me you might be the next kobe lmao
    Her: Lol maybe
    Her:
    Me: Haha somebody's got hoop dreams
    Her: Naw

    two days later

    me: omg guess what
    her: what
    me: did you know that the human body contains enough bones to build an entire skeleton?!
    her: -_- aha very funny
    me: I knew you'd like that aha maybe I'll tell you another one when you ask me out
    her: oho who says I want to
    me: Easy there casanova I don't think that's the right attitude to get me on a date lol
    her: you're pretty jokes
    me: You're not bad yourself gimme your number and maybe I'll take you out when I'm back in *****
    her: *number*

    a day later

    Me: (my name)
    Her: Hey
    (I was too busy to reply that day)

    a day later

    Me: Yo if you took the equator and stretched it out all the way how many times do you think it could wrap around the Earth
    Her: Once
    Me: Wow not even a chuckle move over Dane Cook, but at least you got the question right
    ---------
    It's been like a day and she hasn't replied, I'm away for the holidays and the earliest I can set up a date is the 10th otherwise I'd cut the small talk and just make plans so here's my questions

    1) how do I recover and how do I get back into texting if she doesn't reply to my last text
    2) how do i deal with one word texts
    3) how do i keep up interest until i'm back and can actually make plans

    my go to recovery from something like this is replying with "hmm if only you could keep up a conversation, you're lucky you're cute"

    thanks for the help!

  2. #2
    twentynine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Recovery Help!!

    It's funny how something that would seem so mundane in texting, can actually make or break her attraction level.

    Here's what I'm getting at:

    Me: Hey
    Her: Sup
    Me: Not much, chillin watching community, hbu
    Her: Watching the habs game
    Me: That's cool, so how's tinder on a tuesday night going
    Her: Aha pretty rad
    Her: I finished today so
    Me: Fantastic description I feel like I've found the JK Rowling of text messaging, what'd you finish today?
    Her: Well aren't you sassy
    Her: My exams aha
    Me: Conversations need some sass sometimes, nice I've been done since like the 6th
    Her: Cool
    Me: Yep, so what are you studying in school?
    Her: Everything I'm in high school
    Me: Oh true well what do you wanna study after high school
    Her: Law and history and political sciences
    Me: That's cool. So other than law and history and poli-sci what else are you into
    Her: I'm not into hockey aha I'm just at my friends house so we're watching it. HE'S into hockey
    Her: Mm I like canoe trip and volleyball and basketball
    Me: I played basketball in like grade 9 and 10 but you'd probably be able to whoop me I'm brutal now
    Her: Aha naw
    Her: I'm not that good
    Her: I just really like it
    Me: Hmm idk I haven't played in a couple years so compared to me you might be the next kobe
    Her: Lol maybe
    Her:
    Me: Somebody's got hoop dreams
    Her: Naw

    two days later

    me: omg guess what
    her: what
    me: did you know that the human body contains enough bones to build an entire skeleton?!
    her: -_- aha very funny
    me: I knew you'd like that, maybe I'll tell you another one when you ask me out
    her: oho who says I want to
    me: Easy there casanova I don't think that's the right attitude to get me on a date
    her: you're pretty jokes
    me: You're not bad yourself gimme your number and maybe I'll take you out when I'm back in *****
    her: *number*

    a day later

    Me: (my name)
    Her: Hey
    (I was too busy to reply that day)

    a day later

    Me: Yo if you took the equator and stretched it out all the way how many times do you think it could wrap around the Earth
    Her: Once
    Me: Wow not even a chuckle move over Dane Cook, but at least you got the question right


    See the difference? It's so small but it's so huge at the same time. In the attraction building phase of texting (or online), I like to stay away from haha, lol, smileys.. Even question marks etc.. It's kind of like adding an awkward little laugh to everything you say.. You added aha or lol in almost every text you sent, and it comes off really AFC.

    You can do it a little when you're building comfort, but keep in mind those are actually little IOI's.. Let her give them to you. The altered version of your convo makes you come off more confident and more Alpha, more attractive in general. It's a win, win situation because it also makes your texts slightly shorter.

    As far as why this seems to have fallen off a cliff.. Do a bit of research on text game first off. You asked a lot of questions, showed a bit too much interest etc right off the bat.. I would be curious to see the time intervals between texts as well. I haven't used Tinder but I know that on dating sites, if she gave you her number, she's basically already told you she's willing to go out with you. All you have to do is get a text convo going and lead it into you suggesting a meet up.

  3. #3
    PD123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Recovery Help!!

    Yeah I've stopped the lol's and haha's with other girls and it's going well

    I would've set up a date right away but I'm away for the holidays and the earliest I can go out with her would be the 10th so I'm trying to keep her interest

    Maybe I should just not text her for a while and then just ask her out straight up?

    Thanks for the help!

  4. #4
    cdharders's Avatar
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    Default Re: Recovery Help!!

    I respect twenty-nine a lot, in this conversation, I have to disagree.

    I've had a lot of experience with Tinder because I worked at night clubs and started flirting with girls to come to the club and use my name, so I'd get paid.

    I use "lol" in almost every message to keep things light and playful. I tend to get the number in about 5 to 10 messages, the quickest being on my first reply. I agree, questions aren't amazing, but I use question marks to prompt response.

    The common problem I see in this message as well as most newbies with messaging is that there is too much qualification on your end in an effort to make her laugh, which eventually shows lack of confidence because she starts to think "Why's he keep saying long-winded corny jokes?"

    Less jokes, more logistics is my suggestion. Learn to text girl. I text almost identically to how girls text in order to build rapport. There's other ways to get to know someone rather than surface level conversation. By matching how they talk, I save myself TONS of time messaging.

    As for what you do now?

    Wait a week if she doesn't respond and ping her. "How's the holidays ?" Message a few times, then end it before she does by not responding to a message she sends that doesn't necessarily prompt a response. That's to keep things going until you can see her.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  5. #5
    twentynine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Recovery Help!!

    In re-reading your post I actually realized that almost all of that was online, I was thinking a larger portion of that was over text. This changes things slightly!

    Again, I'll stress that once you got the number, you no longer need to worry about impressing her, building attraction etc.. Send a few texts back and forth, something funny or something to build rapport.. Don't come off like you are trying to impress her.. And then set up a date. "Let's have a drink sometime. When are free?" or "I like you. Have a drink with me, when are you free?" both work great.

    Text her tomorrow afternoon. Something light and simple, don't try to be overly funny or interesting. "What are you up to? Staying out of trouble I hope" is a go to for me... Get the convo rolling, make her laugh a bit and then go for setting up the date when you are back. Be confident, she likes you or you wouldn't have gotten her number. No more shooting yourself in the feet though.

  6. #6
    twentynine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Recovery Help!!

    Some really great points cd, I value your opinion! Perhaps I do put too much thought into that aspect of texting.. Might not be quite as big a deal as making it out to be, but I do think he would have been better off, in this case, without all the laughing at his own jokes etc.

    This situation could go more than one way.. The reason I'm saying you should text her now is because I don't think you've built up enough attraction from her that she'll even remember you when you get back, unless you keep this thing rolling.. Strike while the iron is hot sort of thing.

    cd is rarely wrong I find though, so you have a judgement call to make

  7. #7
    PD123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Recovery Help!!

    Sweet this helps a lot, I guess I'm kinda psyching myself with being confident that she's down to go out

    The only question is would texting her tomorrow come off as needy or annoying especially since she didn't reply? and also considering that it's so close to chirstmas

    So either I could throw her a text tomorrow or i could wait till a day or two after christmas. Also is setting up a date multiple weeks in advance a good or bad idea?

    One more question lmao if I do decide to wait a week before texting her should I add her on facebook in the mean time? I find girls are more into me when they have me on fb because i have a good online presence

  8. #8
    cdharders's Avatar
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    Default Re: Recovery Help!!

    Adding her on Facebook isn't bad if you are confident in your profile. Understand whether your profile builds attraction or comfort. And be sure to ask her to be added on facebook. A friend of mine added a girl on facebook without asking permission first and she freaked out thinking he was too stalker-ish.

    Twenty-nine's "strike when the iron is hot" philosophy is as spot on as you can get. YOur biggest issue is not seeing her for a few weeks. No, don't bother setting a date that far out. There's such a high chance she'd flake, it's not worth it.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  9. #9
    PD123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Recovery Help!!

    Cool I'm gonna text her later today with something simple like 'hey how's it going?' and then end the convo early and probably hit her up again after christmas to get her to add me on fb and then wait till after new years to set up a date, thanks for the help guys I'll keep you updated

  10. #10
    twentynine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Recovery Help!!

    Quote Originally Posted by cdharders View Post
    YOur biggest issue is not seeing her for a few weeks. No, don't bother setting a date that far out. There's such a high chance she'd flake, it's not worth it.
    This is very very true. Really the best thing you can do is send a text here and there until you get back, set the date when it's not so far in the future, I think you're on the right track. That's solid, and it should work out fine.

    Facebook can work to your advantage if you know how to make your profile DHV, it can do the opposite as well if you don't know what you're doing.

    There is a really great thread on these forums by Swagman, that goes over how to make your profile really attractive etc. Give that one a look and make any necessary adjustments before adding her.

    Keep us posted!


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