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Thread: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

  1. #11
    Kyl3's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Thanks swagman, means a lot to me that you're so helpful and insightful.
    We literally cuddled and made out the entire night and just talked for hours until she fell asleep cuddled up on me naked.
    We talked about literally everything. I remember She kept telling me that she hated me so much probably 30x times and that this never happened, but honestly, I felt like she was falling head over heels for me. She told me that she didn't like the fact that I talk to so many girls as friends, & that I'm so young. (She has trust issues, I'm aware of this and I've accepted it.)
    She also told me she plays hard to get because she doesn't want to get played & knew that I was a player. She straight up asked me how many girls I honestly flirt with or talk to and I kind of went AFC In my opinion and told her that I don't flirt with any of those girls they flirt with me. I told her that I honestly only flirt and talk with her and that I genuinely liked her for her. Because after the night we just had, I felt like it was time to be honest with her at 5am. I didn't tell her my feelings, just that I genuinely really liked her for her, & the things I liked about her and the things that I thought were unattractive about her.

    I had an alarm set at 2pm because I worked at 3pm. We woke up a little before around 1:30pm and she made me breakfast and acted super loving to me and after breakfast, things got superheated again.
    Left at 2pm and worked until midnight. I was exhausted so I just went straight to bed.

    Texted her today & got one response in the morning and then she went cold, but I know she worked an 8 hour shift till late.

    Should I just keep playfully persisting with her and teasing her over text and just being determined lol? Or should I back off and only text her when I want to hangout with plans made. We don't work together for weeks so texting is the go to right now.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Key thing I forgot to note*
    She told me that I was the only guy she's even had a crush on in months and that she's only had 1 boyfriend her entire life. She then continued to tell me that she's never even done this before with a guy, & that she really liked me blah blah. She thinks that genuinely deep down I'm a good guy but since I'm so cocky and such a flirt nobody gets to see that side of me.
    I honestly believe her and believe I'm the only guy that she's even remote interested in. (She has 3 guy friends she texts, but they're really fat and chumps lol) she showed me her text messages and Facebook messages with out me even asking or bringing it up.

    Then she saw my phone and I had 19 texts from 14 girls. Ouch.

    I'm positive she's playing hard to get again so I don't know if I should chase her a little harder, or if I should back off and act un-caring kinda. I personally feel like she wants to be chased, but I'm not experienced doing that for a long time without it eventually coming off AFC. Opinion?
    You say push-pull, but can you give me some tips? I'm not very good over text at running it but I understand the concept. Like a few fun examples I could run to get the ball rolling would be great to hear.

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Update*
    So I almost got into a car accident today, some dude almost t-boned me going htrough an intersection and since I didn't get a reply yesterday, I texted her this.
    Hey, almost got into a car accident and died today, you'd never believe what happened. (Seeing as how I figured we were working toward a relationship.) and she doesn't text me back at all, all day.

    So I check her Facebook and she posted, " I'm so frustrated right now."
    So I texted her later in the night and said, So are you mad at me or something?

    & she replies, No, I'm just not into texting like I told you.

    So I call her and she sends me instantly into voicemail. Then texts me, "I'm not trying to be a bitch, but I'm not looking for that lol"

    I didn't reply but it sounds like she's trying to put me in the friendzone? What should I do? Should I say anything? How should I go from here?
    I just don't get it because we almost just had sex 2 days ago...

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    She sounds pretty hurt because she saw all of those texts from those girls. You need to be careful with your phone when you're gaming. If you leave it unprotected, and she picks it up, then the results are not going to be pretty.

    It was a good idea with creating an interesting conversation topic with the car crash, but you executed everything else all wrong. She baited you with the hard to get card, and you're falling for it extremely hard right now. You shouldn't have tried to call her, you shouldn't have tried to get her to contact you so much, and you definitely should not have made a big deal over the Facebook post. You need to be passive as a PUA, not caring about drama and not letting negativity hit you.

    Remember what I said about push and pull? This is your major problem. You're acting like you're trying to push a 500 ton boulder when it comes to this girl. You NEED to back off. Here's your new strategy: don't contact her until she re-initiates contact with you.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Yeah I've realized that I suddenly got the one-itus on a girl with commitment and trust issues to begin with. I shouldn't of gotten attached to her like after only one night. My mistake. I guess I felt that she was different from any other girl I've gamed, so I should chase her and treat her different, lol, I messed up, kinda bad.

    I'm determined to at least get the control back in this situation and turn it around at the very least because that's the type of guy I am. I never give up until I get what I want.

    So on that note a few quick questions...

    She posted yesterday on her Facebook "I hate the fact that I'm an introvert" like an hour after I didn't respond, so maybe she's just weird and really just didnt want to text or talk over phone. Or she was high. Whatever. ( I only made the pushes because we both have the next 4 days off from work so I wanted to setup a Day2 or another hangout during this Christmas break)

    I work with her Saturday. Obviously I'm going NC until then, but at work, should I just act unaffected & confident and like we're friends and still run game? What kind of "game" should I run? Disqualifiers? What would be some good "pulls" to run.

    Or

    Should I just completely walk away, let go completely, distance myself at work as much as possible, and act un-caring. I won't be a dick, I'll be polite when I see her. But that's it.
    Then 2-3months down the road if I see her a party or at work somehow, re-open her and tell her that I'd like to catch up like old friends then start fresh basically.

    Any and all advice will be appreciated. Thanks a lot for all the advice so far Swagman, it means a lot btw.
    Peace, Kyle.

  6. #16
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    The key is to avoid pushing it too far at first.From what you are doing even though its not bad she reads and thinks you want it really bad.

    Since you work together when you see her don't go out of your way to contact, but if its obvious your eyes meet say hey brush her arm and walk way.other things is raising your eye brows.etc.the key here is not to look too eager.if you perceive a shot go talk to her.hold off sex for now but then again if you net iois escalate.

    The way you got out with her was not bad but then it may work on a girl who already likes you or not. When you are running attraction and and get indicators such as she is asking you questions, seems to be buying your frame, flirting etc. shoot for meet up stating time and place.

    The best way to do is ask does she know x place.if she says yes.state time and place.this can be done with phone game and you can hear her and its like in person even though text may suffice.

    This must be the first girl you connected with however in your journey you may connect with many.yep it feels good but then remember always.attraction foremost

  7. #17
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    It sounds like you're starting to get the right idea when it comes to this girl. What she's doing on Facebook is typical girl drama. Just don't get yourself caught up in it, and you're doing a good job of staying away from it. You're also starting to realize how much push and pull you should be doing in any situation. Props to you for that.

    HardRock is right on the money with the workplace situation. Don't approach her, but if she approaches you don't ignore her. I would say that moving on would actually be your best bet. You need experience and repetition of proper routine to be able to figure out how to actually get the kind of girls that you like. Maybe one day you can return to this lady, but not right now.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  8. #18
    Kyl3's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Thanks for responding so fast and for the advice Swagman and Hard-rock

    I feel like I haven't even dug myself that big of a hole with this girl. I feel like I just damaged some attraction by acting needy after spending that night with her because of our busy work schedules. I definitely don't think I killed the attraction completely. I just lost momentum and need to gain it back IMO. Please let me know if I'm wrong.

    In all reality I just need her to get her act together and stop playing the insecurity /commitment issue headgames and invest in me. I always end up getting feelings for sexy girls with crazy baggage just because I feel like I can change there lives. Lol
    (Not physically change them, just make there lives better by having me in it)-just to clear that up.

    So, game plan. Let me know if I'm wrong:

    1.) Build attraction, that's a given. Do this by just not coming off as needy in this case lol.
    She's shy so I don't think she'll approach me unless I approach her first, so if I perceive a shot (like in a break room) and our eyes meet I'll go run game on her. If they don't, I won't. Don't go out of my way to talk to her. Only if we run into each other. If it's brief, I'll just say hi, kino her and leave her wanting more.

    2.) Don't invite her to join me somewhere fun unless she is buying my frame or giving me multiple IOI'S in person. Act un-caring if she rejects me or decides to tag along.

    3.) Be persistent and patient with gaming her, but be ready to walk away at anytime.
    -----Anything else?

    - I just remembered that she told me that night that the only thing she's hesitant about me is the fact we work together and she is 2 years older than me at this party university. I told her that I figured she could keep me interested for awhile with a smile, & she laughed but I feel like deep down that's making her not want to commit somehow. Idk.


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