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Thread: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

  1. #1
    Kyl3's Avatar
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    Default Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Title says it all really, and this post is going to be long. I personally hate reading long posts so I apologize in advance.

    I work food service in a massive casino, that literally sits less than 3 miles away from a huge party university. So they hire Indians, and college kids naturally to work it except for the higher-ups and supervisors.

    Cashiers, Security, fellow food service peeps, 80% college kids.
    I started getting serious about getting into pick up after my ex girlfriend dumped me about 7 months ago for my best friend. I was a noobie at first, and i went far away to college so it was a fresh start. I knew NOBODY. But i knew i wanted to get seriously good with girls for myself so i just spent every day reading and re-reading material until it was second nature.

    So reading about all this game, and stuff on this website, and being new to this college town i knew i needed to get my social proof up, make some new friends, and just become the man. So first thing at my job, i started making friends with every single girl i worked with as i was being trained. Cashiers, Security girls, all the girls in my department, i slowly became close friends with all of them just so i could build a huge social circle of girls to fall back on and give me social proof wherever i wanted to go. (I closed a few discreetly but that's for another post lol) I'm only 18 (almost 19) and the youngest in my department, and 1 of 2 guys in my entire food service department so i kind of had an advantage, oh and all of these girls are between 20-23. (just to think about when giving me advice)

    But there is just this one girl in my department that I just can't close for the life of me, and it drives me crazy on the inside. Lol
    She was the first girl that i actually worked with. So naturally trying to build my social circle i just built intense rapport and comfort with her as we worked. Talked about our families, interests, everything. Found out she's into Raves, Smoking weed, hard drugs like Molly, acid, snowboarding, shes got daddy issues, and she's just fresh out of a break up with an ex-boyfriend who dumped her. Oh, and did i mention shes incredibly shy?
    (Talk about a crazy amount of baggage)- so naturally i invested very little into her.

    BUT, shes incredibly cute, sensitive, fun, and we just connect on things on such a deep level its crazy. The biggest thing that has me hooked about her is how much of a challenge she is.

    (This is over the course of 6 months)
    At first, I remember building rapport and comfort and getting her number and texting her and she never texted me back. Talked to her to her at work and she brought up how she's a horrible texter or some excuse, whatever.

    Then didn't work with her for a solid 2 months straight when I saw her again. This time when I saw her, she was super happy to see me, giggly, mentioned that somebody from the college told her that i had a crush on her? Which i played off as her wishing i did, and just ran super solid game on her the entire shift discreetly. (My game improved massively over these months as well) Basicly froze her out the entire 2 months and then when i saw her again just acted like i didn't care because i genuinely didn't. Worked with her again the next day, and its the same thing. She just kept giving me these huge IOI's and i kept kino escalating with her and running qualifiers on her. At the end of my shift though i told her a crazy 3 some story that I just had and then got her to open up to me about some crazy stories that nobody knew about even her roommates. Then I mentioned that we should hangout sometime because i really enjoy the connection we have together. Told her that I should come over and try out her new bong or something that she was super excited to tell me about and that I'd text her when i was free. She then hit me with the "Maybe, i'll think about it and let you know." Which i quickly responded with, "Well, that's BS, Forget it. I'll hang out with some other girls" as she walked out the door. I genuinely have a surplus of girls so it didn't matter to me.

    A week later she calls me up on a Saturday night at 3:20 A.M. in the morning and it kind of surprises me. It woke me up out of my sleep and I pick up and she's super drunk asking me where I am and what i'm doing. I tell her that I'm sleeping its 3:20 in the morning and shes like nooooooooo you should be out partying with me!

    We talk for a few minutes, she mentions how she's drunk, and how some friend drove 3 hours to see her and wanted to drink so she did. (She never drinks, only does drugs because she already has 2 alcohol related MIPS from living in the dorms her freshman year LOL) Tells me she was at a party but it got busted up and now she's in a car in a parking lot and she's bored. I tease her and we banter a little bit, she genuinely wants to know what I've been up to and then she wants me to talk to her friends so i amuse the idea and then she starts telling me that she hates me so much and that this never happened blah blah and then I just let her go and hang up.

    (I do have a reputation for throwing parties and for always knowing where they're at among my co-workers because I'm tight with guys in the frathouses, so i don't know if she was actually calling me because she liked me and was DTF or because she wanted to know what was going on that night, which there wasn't anything big)

    HERES where things get interesting.

    She then texts me 10 minutes later saying that never happened and that she hates me. i ignore it.
    texts me again 5 minutes later begging me for help. So being concerned I tell her to call me.
    She calls me, tells me that her sh1tty friends left her at a party, and its just her and 2 roommates and they're all super drunk and she wants to know if i'd please please help her because they have no money.
    I say, " I guess so" because regardless of "GAME" if somebody really needs my help i'll be there regardless as long as i'm not enabling them or getting used"
    She then goes on and babbles on about how she doesn't want me to be mad at her, and how she doesn't want it to be a big deal, and how i don't have to blah blah please don't be mad at me.
    So i tell her that i'm coming to pick her up and she's omg we're going to be BFFS and i hangup and go get her. Pick her and her friends up and they're all super drunk. She goes on about how she hates me so much and how this never happened over and over again. I meet her friends, and i remark to her that you only say i hate you to the guys you like. She's super giggly, and i mention that im the super cool co-worker that she always talks about, and her friends go, "THATS YOU?!"
    I was just joking, but okay..

    ------------------------------------------------------------------

    (This is a part where i don't know if i messed up)
    Anyways, go back to her apartment, she sits next to me and is giving me passive IOI's, lingering hand contact, doing favors for me, sitting super close to me, legs touching mine. and we start smoking. Everybody can like feel the tension in the room as everybody is staring at us as they talk or maybe i was high idk. Anyways, i didn't kino escalate because of all her friends watching me, and I just teased her and bantered with everybody and then after like half an hour, decided i'd leave at the peak of everything and hugged her and left.
    So i figured she was finally coming around.

    A few days later i texted her something fun, and light about the night and didn't get a response. A week goes by and i text her again and this time i get a few responses but then she stops again. So instead of chasing her i froze her out again.

    2 more months go by, and i finally see her across a room from me as i'm leaving work. We make intense eye contact for like literally 9-10 seconds and she smiles and i leave. The next day i run into her for like 1 minute and she mentions that she wishes she was working what i was, and that her shifts suck. (Creeped on my shifts on the schedule sheet?)
    I laugh and banter for a few seconds and go on about my way.

    Over Christmas break though, i figured id text her and try to set up a meeting. So i text her and we're super flirty and fun over texting like we've never been before, and in my teasing i mention that i find her taste in music attractive and she doesnt reply.

    A few days later i text her again but more direct to try and switch my game up, and tell her im busy at 8pm, but i'd like to hangout and see her for a few hours (it was like 5pm). I'm pretty good at pulling these causal hangout with girls, so i figured she's bite but she told me she was with her friends from another state and she didn't want to leave them.

    So a few days later i text her again, on a casual hangout and she doesn't text me back. So i decided i'd freeze her out again not knowing what to do.

    I saw her at work yesterday and she was super quiet, and shy, and like reserved. I don't know what to do at this point. I don't feel like i have oneitus, because I've been had it before and this doesn't feel like it at all. Its just one of those things where I've been so patient for so long trying to close her because i feel like its right at my finger tips but I just can't get her to come hangout. She always flakes. I have 10-15 girls that i always text as just friends and a few FWB's so its not like I'm acting needy around her. I don't know, any and all advice would be appreciated.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    I was thinking, the next time I work a full shift with her, to just build some attraction, and then mention how i feel like we really connect and how its so disappointing that she always flakes. Then say something like, before I felt like I could trust you, but now i feel like you're so flakey, and unreliable, and that's just so unattractive and its disappointing that you're that type of girl and then do a small take away and go on break and let her think about what i said before i come back.
    Opinions? like i said, any all will be appreciated, and im sorry about the long post lol.
    -kyle

  2. #2
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Hey kyle, she gave you huge shots but you seemed to have been oblivious to it.the part where she sat next to you there was a huge invitation.chill on asking her out.
    Talk to her runing game dont try hardcore but dont miss shots.when you get iois instead of setting meet try to hold the interaction and ask her to meet you after work.if your content is charged she will want to meet you.walk arm in arm sit down making sure you sitting in close prox.touch her hair at the tip.if she deosnt complain or seems comfortable move in.Peace

  3. #3
    Kyl3's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Should I of tried to kino escalate with her while we were sitting on the couch together? It would of been our first time hanging outside of work, and since we're co-workers it seemed risky, especially in front of her friends that I was just meeting for the first time. I felt like she wouldn't of liked me making moves right in front of her friends as we were all chilling, smoking, talking.
    If we were alone I would of tried to close for sure, but idk. Opinion?
    Oh, and thanks for the advice, much appreciated.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    From what Hardrock said, that is what you should be doing. Kino escalation would have been your best move on the couch, and it is something you should do a better job of keeping an eye on in the future. I would recommend checking out the list of IOI's here on the forums. I will include the link at the bottom for you.

    In addition, you can't be afraid of anything. The more you worry about what others will think, the more you screw up your own game. Just because her two friends were with her in the apartment, it does not mean that you can't escalate. You can ALWAYS escalate with a woman. Just don't get to the point of making out or having sex in front of them. That IS bad.

    Other than that, follow what Hardrock said. It's all solid, and it's the right way to go.

    IOIs Indicators of Interest List
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  5. #5
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Thanks Swagman, never thought of it that way.
    And thanks for including the IOI list, i'll look it over again.

  6. #6
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyl3 View Post
    Should I of tried to kino escalate with her while we were sitting on the couch together? It would of been our first time hanging outside of work, and since we're co-workers it seemed risky, especially in front of her friends that I was just meeting for the first time. I felt like she wouldn't of liked me making moves right in front of her friends as we were all chilling, smoking, talking.
    If we were alone I would of tried to close for sure, but idk. Opinion?
    Oh, and thanks for the advice, much appreciated.
    One thing you could have done once she was shooting indicators was suggesting she come with you outside so you could be in isolation.

  7. #7
    Kyl3's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Question 1: How should I of gotten her to come outside for isolation with me? I don't smoke cigs, and it was like 10 degrees outside snowing. I'm also sure her friends would of wanted to tag along as soon as we got up. lol

    Update.
    Worked a short 2 hour shift with her yesterday (not expecting it at all) and we were super busy at this subway (due to the new years and everybody gambling) so that didn't leave much time to talk or do anything. But these were some of the bits of convo that I remember:
    I remember somebody said that I was really funny, and then she blurted out, "Yeah!, Funny looking. With a sly smile at me.
    At some point these co-workers were asking her why she didn't have a boyfriend, and she kept saying it was because he was invisible super embarrassed. They bothered her for a few more minutes, and Then they were like, we need to find you a good guy, instead of a$$holes. Then they looked at me while I was busy with a customer, and they were like, For example Kyle, he's a bad guy. And she started laughing and said, yeah, Kyle's pretty horrible smiling at me. I just laughed and said that i'm an a$$ hole and she needs to stay away and acted like I didn't really care the entire shift.
    SO their's some IOI's that she's still interested or at least thinks im attractive.

    At one point, she told me she was going to be in Chicago (visiting her sister) for the next few days. I work again with her for an hour tomorrow.

    What would be a good way to extend the interaction after work? Our shifts get over at 11pm at night. I was thinking to ask her to help me with something after work but what? Any solid ideas to get her to hangout other than just asking her to join me?
    -kyle

  8. #8
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    Hmm..
    Invite her out for lunch with co workers.another female co worker plus one guy would do.Peace

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    UPDATE!
    I freaking finally closed her with much thanks to HardRock and Swagman's advice and some determination. This is how it went down, and you're going to like the way it ends.
    (NOTE, much of this has been summarized to get to the main points)

    I ran into her on break in the employee eating area and she sat down next to me talking all about Chicago and stuff. Fluff talked about that for a little while. Then asked her if she was doing anything tonight..
    She replied that she didn't think so.
    So I replied that you're hanging out with me then tonight when we get out. She goes " nahhh, well maybe depends on what my roomie is doing. I tell her that I don't have time for girls who give me maybe's and ill find somebody who does want to hangout with me 100%. She just laughs and says maybe again. (In my personal opinion, maybe's are just sh1t tests girls give you and they're Yes's)
    We fluff for a little while longer, and I go back to work. Before I leave work, I run into her again and ask her if she's joining me, and she just say's maybe again and runs off.

    2 hours after work I text her (and mind you, she never replies to my texts, and this is at midnight. This would of been like the 4th text in a row in the texting blob to not get replied to) and say, listen we're hanging out tonight and there's nothing you can do about it. So come over and just hangout and catch up with me like friends. She replies that the only fun thing to do tonight was the bar. I tell her that I don't want to go to the bar because its lame. She doesn't reply.
    PERSISTENCE IS KEY SOMETIMES. THERES A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTING NEEDY AND BEING DETERMINED.

    So I text her again in like a 10 minute span, and say listen, bring your roomie and her boyfriend if they wanna come, but you're coming over right now and we're going to have a blast doing whatever.
    She replies, haha, roomie isn't home, lmao, Loner status.
    So I text back again instantly and say, listen I just found a party and you're coming so get your a$$ ready I'm coming over right now.
    (5 mins later goes by and she replies some lame thought up excuse about being sick) So I literally drive to her apartment.
    I see this and quickly reply, I'm literally outside your door, let me inside to at least charge my phone if you're going to be a brat and come up with these lame excuses every time.

    I go inside and tell her i'm only staying 10 mins, we start talking for a little while, we start drinking, use the excuse that I can't drive now that I've started drinking. She already was aware of this though and was okay with it. We start to get 5-6 shots deep a piece of some strong rum. One of the girls from the party that I blew off to be with her calls me and is screaming where am I the whole party is waiting for me and I politely tell them that I'm busy and won't make it. (Awesome DHV)
    She asks who that girl was and I reply top secret.
    We talked for a long long time about how connected we are and our interests we share, all the while im sitting on the couch holding her.
    Tell her I want to watch some movies on her labtop in her room, she sh1t tests me and asks me, what did I think was really going to happen, and I reply, Just cuddling and movie watching. She smiles and we start cuddling in her room.
    Exhaled some hot breath up her neck and kissed her ear while saying her name as soon as we start cuddling and then its go time. I didn't f-close, but everything else was more than nice. I've never met a girl so passionate to please me.

    Afterwards we start talking for hours, and she tells me how she always really liked me and told all her roomie's about me. Told me that she was just playing hard to get because she knew I really liked her as a giant sh1t test of some sort. She just wanted to make sure I wanted her as much as she liked me so she wouldn't get hurt.
    THEN SHE TELLS ME THAT IF IT WASN'T THAT I WAS SO DETERMINED TO HANGOUT, THIS WOULD OF NEVER HAPPENED AND WE PROBABLY WOULD OF NEVER HUNGOUT.

    Thoughts?
    I honestly want to get into an exclusive relationship with this girl eventually, but im such a noob when it comes to FWB into relationships. Or just working toward actual exclusive relationships in general.
    How should I go about doing this? OR am I over-thinking this?

  10. #10
    Swagman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ever had that ONE girl you just can't close?

    I am actually thoroughly impressed. Persistence, normally used by an AFC or a PUA Rookie, would definitely come off as needy. However, not once did you actually ask her to hang out. Instead, you kept telling her what she was going to do. At first, reading it I honestly did not like it. Now I'm starting to see this as a fine piece of PUA craftsmanship.

    Answering the phone call with her and your response was also solid work, and your conquering of her excuses and sh1t tests definitely made you appear Alpha in her eyes. If you wanted to, you could easily push for a relationship.

    To get into one, it's just the same as before: hard work and persistence. I don't mean persistence as constantly asking her to be your girlfriend. I mean persistence as in constantly driving to get her to do what you want. There are times though that you will need to show that you are not outcome dependent and totally hooked on her. That is where the push aspect of push-pull comes in.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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