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Thread: Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

  1. #1
    Ecko30's Avatar
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    Default Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

    Hey Guys,

    So Ive been reading articles on seduction for beginners. They all seem to sum up one way or another that CONFIDENCE is really all that is needed for pick-up.

    The articles Im reading by various PUA's look at all the ingredients needed but again I feel like all these things are to a certain degree included when a man is truly confident and in fact are basically INSTRUCTIONS on how to become a confident guy.

    Is this fair to say? Is PUA instruction pretty much steps to becoming confident around women?

    That being said, I have learned what makes me confident. I have learned what makes me confident to the point where I can use a cheesy pick-up line or just tel la girl "nice pants" and still be completely confident and get a smile out of her.

    The answer for me is: bodybuilding. When my body is in its top shape, all I need is my hair styled and a muscle shirt on and I have NO FEAR approaching any woman....why is this? I really dont know.

    The downfall and why Ive been studying PUA is the sheer difficulty of keeping my body in shape...and the extreme opposite goes for me..if IM NOT IN SHAPE, Im depressed and a wussy.

    Now this is dangerous, so Id like to get some honest opinions. Am I correct that because muscle training gives me confidence, then thats all thats really needed to improve my game? (Cuz Ill be honest I have a sh*itload of self improvements to work on) OR am I making an excuse to get out of learning pick-up?

    Ill be honest, all day today, ive been reading articles on seduction, and altho I felt my soul being opened up, I really dont have time to sit and read in my apt alot.

    What do you guys think?
    "I came, I saw, I conquered"- Julius Ceasar

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

    The statement that confidence is all that is needed to pick up women is only true to an extent. Yes, there are some people where all they need is to have confidence in themselves and all of a sudden they're getting women like crazy. However, there is a large group of people, including myself, where simply gaining confidence in yourself will not work.

    I often see on the forums, and I know I was in that bunch one time long ago, that a poster will seem very incompetent when it comes to a topic of pickup, such as the approach or texting. No amount of confidence boosting is going to improve their game. It requires a thorough education on how the topic works, what is good and bad in the topic, and why they should carry out the topic in a particular manner. Only then will they progress and become great at their game.

    I think it would be far better for you if you learned pickup when you are not at your best. When you lose your confidence, or you are having a bad day, will you still be able to play the game like a champ? When you learn how to be a great pickup artist when you are not your best, you become a phenomenal pickup artist when you are in the best mindset possible.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

    Confidence is not all that is needed. You need to employ learned knowledge about the do's and don'ts of picking up. Though confidence can translate into non-reactiveness which is very attractive to girls. I'm not in great shape. My trainer is in great shape as he should be. He always asks me for advice on women because--although he's better in the gym--I'm a slob that sleeps with girls consistently. It comes down to learning the ABCs of pick up and doing them over and over.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

    The plain fact is that women want emotions. They like men who can excite them emotionally.

    While being confident and good looking is a plus, it will only get your foot in the door. Once you get past that I initial step, you need to bring it emotionally to build the attraction. I had one woman tell me that she says hi to great looking guys all the time as a waitress but that the attraction is lost 90% of the time as soon as they start talking. Speaking well and building attraction is far more important and builds a more solid confidence.

    And on top of that, body building will make you shallow. When you work out, you focus on the activity... Basically your mind isn't engaged. It's just focused on working through the pain. It doesn't build character.

    It's important don't get me wrong but it can't be central focus of a guys game.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  5. #5
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    Default Re: Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

    Ok well then what should I be focusing on? Ive been reading these beginner articles on this seduction site and i feel like im wasting my life sitting in my apt reading this.

    I am not afraid to approach women. I CAN get phone numbers. Just picked up two yesterday.

    I can get them to come out with me.

    This is what I CANT understand:

    -Getting girls attracted to me after my initial looks
    I feel like they see thru me to some weakness I have, all my many girls ive bedded have all been f8ck and chucks or end badly and I kinda wish I had more hang arounders.

    What should I be focusing on. right now Im reading inner game stuff.
    "I came, I saw, I conquered"- Julius Ceasar

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

    I think the first step you need to take is to sit down and really take a look at what your weaknesses are. They can by physical or nonphysical. Either way, you need to figure out the answer to your question of why they are looking through you.

    Another thing to think about is maybe your game is not as solid as you think it is. You think you're good at text game and getting them to go out with you, but yet they won't stick. Perhaps you are missing something vital to these areas. Maybe it is charm, confidence, doing things too slow, too quickly, skipping a step, doing a step incorrectly, the list goes on.

    Never think that you have something completely down. Complacency can blind us to potential problems that face us, and we won't realize they are problems until it is too late. Always strive to learn and improve on what you already have. That is the key to becoming a great pickup artist.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  7. #7
    Ecko30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

    Thanks swagman, appreciate your response friend.

    My text game isnt the best. All I know is Im confident approaching and getting numbers. From there it's hit or miss if the girl goes out with me.

    I take the girl out and usually even get laid...but I feel like their f*rking me only cuz they pretty much have too. I like younger girls and usually Im the only one that drives.

    My weaknesses?

    -my temper when things arent going my way
    -I believe i still have a "nice guy" in me, girls see me buying them stuff and altho some say they like how I listen to them and pay attention to them I feel like its a weak AFC part of me.
    I also tend to show I care what they think of me.
    "I came, I saw, I conquered"- Julius Ceasar

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

    Knowing what you are looking for is a huge first step. For newbies, the best advice is to get out there and start approaching. For you, you'll have to take inventory of what your shortcomings are and where things seem to fall apart:
    Are the girls you talk to the ones that you are attracted to?
    Do you wish you had more SNLs, MLTRs, FWBs?
    What part of the set falls flat for you?
    What has been the issue when girls haven't slept with you?
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ecko30 View Post
    Thanks swagman, appreciate your response friend.

    My text game isnt the best. All I know is Im confident approaching and getting numbers. From there it's hit or miss if the girl goes out with me.
    Well there you go: start researching into text game. I would recommend checking out the threads on text games here on the forums. To give you a good start, check out hyp's texting guide reference. I'll include the link at the bottom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ecko30 View Post
    I take the girl out and usually even get laid...but I feel like their f*rking me only cuz they pretty much have too. I like younger girls and usually Im the only one that drives.
    None of the girls are obligated to do anything for you. You could try and make a case by saying that because you're a nice guy to them that they will do things for you. However, I doubt this is the case. There is something else going on that you are not seeing yourself right now. This is one of those things where you have to sit down and really pick apart what you are doing. Who knows, perhaps you are doing something incredibly right and you don't even realize it yet.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ecko30 View Post
    My weaknesses?

    -my temper when things arent going my way
    -I believe i still have a "nice guy" in me, girls see me buying them stuff and altho some say they like how I listen to them and pay attention to them I feel like its a weak AFC part of me.
    I also tend to show I care what they think of me.
    By the looks of these, your number one problem is being assertive and confident in yourself. It's not bad to be a nice guy, it's just bad when you also have no backbone. It's quite possible to be nice AND be able to have the big balls attitude of a bad boy. It's all a matter of not giving a fark about anyone else and not giving a fark about what people think about you. Just remember that keeping it cool and being able to return blows with some ignorance or playfulness is the way to go.

    Try this out, and check out some of the threads on the forums on being a nice guy. I would also recommend the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Robert A Glover. Both of those should help you tackle your weaknesses and eliminate them. If you have any more questions, feel free to shoot them back out. The people here at the forums are always available to help.

    What's that? You need texting advice?
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  10. #10
    Ecko30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this true? Or am I making an excuse?

    Swagman, Thanks again!

    Cd, Im looking for more Friends with benefits. Already in a LTR, one night stands or friends with benefits is all Im looking for...and yes I usually talk to the ones I want. age range 18-24.
    "I came, I saw, I conquered"- Julius Ceasar


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