Re: Post Break-Up Contact
I personally think it would be a very bad idea to go after her. Why do you want to continue to pursue someone if you know that it is destroying your game? You admit that you are becoming an AFC because of what you are doing, and what the two of you were having was not a real relationship. It was only friends with benefits, and true dating goes far beyond just having each other around to sleep with. I understand what it feels like to be so attached to someone after they are gone, and I can say from personal experience that it is a terrible and pathetic experience. You just have to fight the urge to dwell on things and move on.
Of course you still have to be civil and friendly with her. If she is in the same workplace as you, it would be a very bad idea to turn on her and become negative. A real alpha quality would be to not only move on from her, but to be supportive of her as she is going into her new marriage. It's an alpha quality because it demonstrates acceptance, passage, and an ability to transition things into a new context.
On one last note, why are you worried about what she thinks? The more you occupy yourself with how someone else feels, the more likely you are to screw up your own game. You just have to accept things as they are, assume she is doing alright, and move on. She is no longer in a relationship with you, so you no longer have an obligation to worry about what she thinks.
"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X