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  1. #1
    Anden is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default How to proceed in this situation

    Hi, i'm new here and i have a question.
    I hope i can explain this so that it makes sense.

    I went on date 1, with a girl that i met on Tinder. I'm a Swede living in Stockholm. She's a dutch that is over her studying.
    Anyway, i chose a place close to my apartment, in case i was lucky. The place had a cocktail level with dimmed lights and hawaiian inspired music. It was a good place. The date began and we talked, smiled a lot and had a good time. In about 3 hours into the date i kissed her and we started making out. It went a bit wild, she started biting my tongue... it actually went so far that a guard in the joint asked us to take it easy "People are watching". A little bit ridiculous, but i kept it cool. Didn't want to make a scene with this new girl around.

    So, i asked her if she wanted to get out of there. Go home to my place. She answered:
    I told myself that i wouldn't follow you home.
    So, i just said that, that's fine. When can i see you again?
    She answered: New years eve.
    I said ok. Followed her to the sub, and there we made out again. Jungle style this time. I started touching her tits, ass etc....... Why i mentions this, is because i'm pondering over this. I'm thinking that i might have been a bit to horny, a bit too sticky, a bit too much. I don't know if i scared her.

    So now i'm thinking. Should i call her today, and ask her if she wants to come by tonight. That i can cook some food etc...
    If i do this, it is me controlling the situation. But it can also come off as a quite obvious "Do you wanna shag" attempt.

    If i just wait and call her on new years eve. She might think that she's controlling the situation and since i'm not dominating the situation she might feel less for me.

    Now, the girl is smart and cute. Not a 10, more of a 7.

    Anyone who's been in my shoes? Or just have any ideas on how to proceed.
    I'm just looking for a second opinion my friends.


    /Anden

  2. #2
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to proceed in this situation

    Don't push for another meetup so soon. It can come across as needy, and that is the best way to drive her away. I'm not sure what the impact of the jungle action may have on her attraction towards you. Given the fact that you two were all over each other at the cocktail bar, I'm leaning towards the outcome that you are fine.

    I also would not say initiating contact first would come across as her controlling the frame. If you call her, then you are giving her a little bit too much of power. If you just text her, then you should be fine.

    I would wait a little bit to initiate contact with her though. If she doesn't contact you by tonight, then it would be a good idea to text her and start to get her energized and worked up for tomorrow night. Open her with something that references the fun and wild night that the two of you had. You want to open her on a positive note, and nothing is more positive than getting her sparked up on the make-out session you two had the night before.

    If you do that right, then things will turn out good in your favor.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    Anden is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to proceed in this situation

    Thanks for the reply my friend. It makes sense.

    I know what i have to do(Sounds like i'm on a mission to save the planet).

    I will post updates here in case someone is actually following this topic and wants to know the outcome.

  4. #4
    Anden is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to proceed in this situation

    Ok. So here's the follow-up

    I texted her:
    "Hey. Thanks for last time. It was funny how we almost got thrown out, for making out."

    Didn't get a reply on new years eve.
    So i thought: ok, done. Just leave it.

    Didn't care about that and went out with my friends, and got a number from another girl. Great.

    However, the day after she answered:
    "Haha yeah, it was fun though. Happy new year!!! X"

    I replied after a couple of hours:

    "Happy new year!
    You, Me, some candy + a romcom movie. What do you say? x"(she mentioned earlier she liked cheesy romcoms)

    Got a reply that she had a friend over tonight but she asked if we could go for friday instead.

    Now, this is not me complaining or anything. I'm just looking for some critique in this situation.

    Am i doing fine here or is there any obvious mistake i'm doing?

    Br

  5. #5
    Swagman's Avatar
    Swagman is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to proceed in this situation

    Your don't give a dark attitude is excellent. You did the EXACT right thing you're supposed to do when you think you're done with her. I'm also proud of you for going out, getting another number, and basically moving on. That is the pua definition right there, and that is something to give yourself a pat on the back with

    However, once again you jumped the gun on the meet up. You haven't talked to her in a couple days, nor had a real conversation with her. You're almost at ground zero again my friend. Whenever you have a situation where contact has been cut off for any reason, you need to take your time with just rebuilding attraction.

    Despite your screwup, you could still make this work. Friday isn't too far away, and it's a good enough amount of time to build up attraction. Then again, you could have some equally great gains by flaking on her the day of the movie. Tell her that you had other things come up and you can't do the movie tonight. It's all a matter of your choice. Both could work well and they could work in your favor if you play your game right.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  6. #6
    Anden is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to proceed in this situation

    Thanks Swagman. Your honest critique and encouragement is highly appreciated.

    But when you say that i have time to build up attraction until tomorrow(friday). What exactly do you mean?
    To text or call her before we set the time and try to build up attraction?

    It feels like theres a big chance that it will come off as needy.

    I was planning on taking your advice and say that other things came up.

  7. #7
    Anden is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: How to proceed in this situation

    Ok i just got owned.
    Tried to build attraction last night by texting her.

    I'm pasting it:

    Me: I got a confession to make....
    Her:?
    Me: There was an invisible ninja in my apartment yesterday, but i'm pretty sure he's gone now.
    Her: haha have you been smoking?
    Her: And by the way i have to reschedule to. I'm sawri(Yes, she's purposely writing like this). I was to optimistic need to finish some things.

    Ok, because i'm a sour loser, and i see this as education...is there anything i can do to save this mess?

    My natural instinct would be to write back:
    No worries. I'm gonna chill with the ninja.

    To clowny in a situation like this?

    /The Newbie


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