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Thread: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

  1. #11
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Quote Originally Posted by twentynine View Post
    The way I would personally deal with this if it were me, is I would bring it up the next time you guys find yourself having a couple drinks or a coffee together. I would wait for a moment where there is laughter and the two of you are really clicking.. I would break the laughter with something along the lines of "Ok, in all seriousness though.. I have to spoil the mood a bit with a confession. I may have told you something that wasn't true in the past and I feel bad about it."

    Try to say this in a light hearted way, don't confess as if you've committed some sort of cardinal sin or something.. Play it like it's not a big deal, but while at the same time being sensitive and displaying to her that you realize that it was wrong to lie.

    Explain to her that at the time that you lied, it was a split second decision and that you didn't really think through, all you knew at that moment was that you really liked her, and that you didn't want to risk losing the connection you two had based on your age difference. Tell her that you've regretted it ever since. Ask her what you can do to make it up to her.

    If you treat this as some horrible thing and act scared like you've done something horribly wrong, it will reflect in her reaction.
    I like this advice but i would supplement this with one thing... be prepared that she will be upset and need time. So that when the moment comes that you say it... give her space. She will be angry. She may be hurt. Offer her a soft surface to exhaust herself against instead of a combative one to bounce her emotions back at her and make her more incensed. Don't be indignant. Don't be defensive. The only excuse is that you thought she was cool and didnt want your age to bely your maturity. DO NOT ascribe deeper feelings or confess to emotional connection. This will only make matters worse. Let her break herself against the rocks. Eventually once shes calm you can assess the damage.

  2. #12
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Summation Agree: You need to tell her sooner than latter, be honest and straight to the point about it, and then get off the topic. I like dave's reply the best. If she pushes you for more info, just push it to another conversation topic. The more you dwell on it, the worse it's going to appear.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #13
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Tell her the truth, if she likes you she would not even care. That said, here is my trick: Since I grew up in a country that did not use the Christian calendar, I once said that I converted my age from my country's calendar to the Christian calendar and made a mistake so I thought I was 28, but I was actually 21 ! ;-) I did this once and it surprisingly worked!

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Woah man, stop over analysizing this.
    you love this woman too much , your fear might eventually make you come off as needy or not.your frame may not be bad but then..
    Why are you really worried about her knowing your real age, bringing it up might kill all attraction.
    yep relationships are supposed to be built on honesty but now that you know you like her you owe her that if she brings it up again.that said be honest about things you reveal.PEACE


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