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Thread: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

  1. #1
    wildstorms's Avatar
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    Default Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Hey guys,

    Now I know I shouldn't have done this but while I was still in AFC land I ended up telling this girl that I am 28 but I'm really 21. I am currently keeping it as just friends with her, though she gives all the signs of wanting a relationship. I can't go on further with this lie in place. She is 30 y/o+ btw.

    How do I tell her in a way that will do the least damage? I really have nowhere else to turn to.

    Looking forward to some replies, thanks

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Tell her the truth. She'll respect you more for it regardless of what happened. As for the how, be honest and speak with conviction. It's more of how you say it that what you say. Don't say you lied; grab a thesaurus.

    Oh, never lie to women
    Always leave her better than you found her.

  3. #3
    wildstorms's Avatar
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Thanks for the reply Vicodin24!

    I was thinking in a similar way, being honest is very important. I won't ever lie again I swear, seriously though just been mindfarking myself over this.

    Thanks for the reply man appreciate it!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Say this:

    "I want you to hear me out. There's something that I have to say. Sometimes people do the wrong thing but for a very right reason. I didn't want to risk losing your friendship when I told you I was 28. We get along so well but I can't go on without telling you that I am actually 21. It was selfish of me to keep it from you."

    Then just shut up and let her talk, vent, yell, scream or whatever. Just stay silent until she wants you to speak.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    The way I would personally deal with this if it were me, is I would bring it up the next time you guys find yourself having a couple drinks or a coffee together. I would wait for a moment where there is laughter and the two of you are really clicking.. I would break the laughter with something along the lines of "Ok, in all seriousness though.. I have to spoil the mood a bit with a confession. I may have told you something that wasn't true in the past and I feel bad about it."

    Try to say this in a light hearted way, don't confess as if you've committed some sort of cardinal sin or something.. Play it like it's not a big deal, but while at the same time being sensitive and displaying to her that you realize that it was wrong to lie.

    Explain to her that at the time that you lied, it was a split second decision and that you didn't really think through, all you knew at that moment was that you really liked her, and that you didn't want to risk losing the connection you two had based on your age difference. Tell her that you've regretted it ever since. Ask her what you can do to make it up to her.

    If you treat this as some horrible thing and act scared like you've done something horribly wrong, it will reflect in her reaction.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Quote Originally Posted by wildstorms View Post
    Hey guys,

    Now I know I shouldn't have done this but while I was still in AFC land I ended up telling this girl that I am 28 but I'm really 21. I am currently keeping it as just friends with her, though she gives all the signs of wanting a relationship. I can't go on further with this lie in place. She is 30 y/o+ btw.

    How do I tell her in a way that will do the least damage? I really have nowhere else to turn to.

    Looking forward to some replies, thanks
    Hehe, I've done the same thing. Anyway, the way I've handled these situation is as follows. "Hey, I have a confession. When I met you, I didn't think I'd ever see you again. So when you asked my age...I was like damn, she fine I'm 28. The truth is I'm 21, but you're so hot I couldn't help myself. I deserve to be punished. You should withhold sex for like 30 minutes or something cruel. (wink)"

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Haha!

    For a start, if you're 21 and she's 30+, no WAY does she believe you're 28...

    But yeah, keep it light. "You didn't REALLY think I was 28, did you?"

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Thanks for all the replies guys, I just wanted to ask finally what do I do if/when she goes crazy after I tell her my age. How can I control the situation and still come out winning, my natural pua friend tells me to tell her first because I may spoil the mood if I get her all happy and then ruin it by telling her my age.

    Any thoughts

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    You still haven't told her?? :O

    This is gonna be worse for you the longer you wait.

    I really don't think she would have freaked out if you had handled it the way we had suggested. How many times have you seen her since your initial post?

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Really scared how do I tell her my real age with minimal damage

    Quote Originally Posted by twentynine View Post
    You still haven't told her?? :O

    This is gonna be worse for you the longer you wait.

    I really don't think she would have freaked out if you had handled it the way we had suggested. How many times have you seen her since your initial post?

    Well I saw her once but it was random (just saw her while walking down the street) she was sort of angry with me for other reasons and she said she wanted some space and what not so I felt that it was a very bad time to say it. Mainly because she did some work for me and I was unappreciative and she got very disturbed and I said sorry which ruined it completely.After that I got an email a few days later saying everything was ok and we are still good and I sent a casual reply and no reply since, though I will email her back with somethings that we are working on together for a project. Also to make things worse I sent some afc texts that she didn't reply too. How Do I handle this. I have to get her feeling good about me again at this step I'm guessing? Don't know so lost and confused here


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