Gender Policing: What it is and why you shouldn't do it
This is a thread that has been in the making since October. It has been motivated by the large amount of bigotry and ignorance flooding today's society. The final breaking point for this post was made on this forum, taking a term that should be respected and transforming it into a crude insult.
The homosexuality debate is not the thing I am here to talk about. What I am here to talk about is a matter of being respectful and doing the right thing.
Back in October, I had the privilege to talk with a man who specialized in Gender Studies, and he had told me all of his findings around the subject of homosexuality from his own life experiences and from the research he had done around the country. In this talk, he introduced me to a new term, and it is a term that you fellow gentlemen should learn very well:
Gender Policing is where you say or do something towards someone else that is supposed to guide them towards what you think is appropriate for the sex. For example, you're at the bar with your buddies and there's a girl that one of the guys notices. He's not in the mood to go after her because all he wants to do is just hang out and have a beer with his friends. You, thinking that you're doing him a favor, tell him "Dude, don't be gay, go after her!" Out of pain and fear of being considered something he is not, he reluctantly goes after her.
A beer with friends is not the only area where you will see Gender Policing. It is found in fashion, it is found in advertising, and anything in the media will usually contain Gender Policing. It also isn't focused on a single sex. When you think "Hot Babe", one of the first things to come to mind is that Victoria's Secret ad with the big busty brunette in that silk underwear and high heels.
Overall, it's an awful thing that massively promotes stereotypes and assumptions. If a friend of mine told me "god that looks gay" when I wore my favorite scarves, I would be seriously hurt and offended. It's just not cool, and in today's society where far more people are sensitive to what is said about them, it just isn't a good idea. It's also not cool to disrespect those not present. People like gays, lesbians and bisexuals are still fighting for their rights and acceptance in a society that continues to deny it to them.
So what can be done to get rid of it?
Unfortunately, it cannot be destroyed. It will always be everywhere you go. However, you can fight it by going against the flow. Don't be quick to chorale your friends, family, and colleagues into what their "proper" gender roles should be. Let them live their life as they enjoy it, and support and protect them as well. If you see someone else Gender Policing, shut them down right away and tell them that it just is not cool. Protect those who are not present, that should be your motto from now on.
Doing this, and standing up for what is right, will make you far more of a better man than ever before. Please take this into consideration, and please follow it well. Thank you for your time.
"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X