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  1. #1
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default question with gf. need advice. Freezeout? Call her out?

    Question,

    I recently tried a freezeout. Basically my girlfriend can't meet a lot cause of work. She doesn't like to talk about her work, but when she can't meet really doesn't say the details just that she can't. She is more cold on that realm as being from another culture, and a lot younger.

    So I just didn't respond, instead of being needy or argumentative. Then she texted me again later in the evening and I was tired so just say hey. She asks if everything is ok, or if i am ok. I tell her ya and congratulate her on her new job. She tells me I'm being cold. I told her her listen you said you couldn't meet so ok, and I didn't ask you about your job cause you are private about it.

    We send lots of messages generally through the week. My issue is if she can't meet, it would be cool if she would tell me whats going on in her week. our schedules make it so its hard to talk on the phone. She really doesn't respond when I tell her about my life. When I am with her we talk all the time and its deep,etc,etc. I want to call her out on it like listen don't be mad when I don't text when you act like you don't give a shit, but I don't wanna be needy, but I don't accept this behavior.



    This isn't a nexting situation as its serious relationship but I need some advice. I have a feeling she is gonna freeze me out.

  2. #2
    night_rider is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: question with gf. need advice. Freezeout? Call her out?

    Try this, the next time you guys can meet up in person, talk with her about it in a neutral fashion. (Not the "We need to talk" kind of way.)

    I've ran into a situation similar to this and found a lot of help from Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus if I remember correctly. I recommend checking it out for yourself

  3. #3
    D1v1ou$$'s Avatar
    D1v1ou$$ is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: question with gf. need advice. Freezeout? Call her out?

    This is a classic case of "I can and you cant", she can be cold and distant, but you cant. Sounds like you already tried a different form of the above comment to no avail. I recommend you mirror her, psychologically she will see how this feels from the outside, don't be intrusive be vague. Don't care about where she is or what she does for work, eventually she will come around and offer up the information.
    You can't miss something you've never had, but I can be sure she will regret her opportunity...

    Better known as Debauchivalrious...

  4. #4
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: question with gf. need advice. Freezeout? Call her out?

    Quote Originally Posted by D1v1ou$$ View Post
    This is a classic case of "I can and you cant", she can be cold and distant, but you cant. Sounds like you already tried a different form of the above comment to no avail. I recommend you mirror her, psychologically she will see how this feels from the outside, don't be intrusive be vague. Don't care about where she is or what she does for work, eventually she will come around and offer up the information.
    Yes I agree 100% . I always say the nice things. Like I was telling her i hope her new job goes good etc, but then I tell her about other things and she doesn't seem to respond. I had sent her a message and said basically said its ok you can't meet but when i don't see you and you dn't tell me whats up and really don't care what i say then you wonder why I don't text you.

    She responded thats she wasn't mad, but she feels the same way ( its bs because I always tell her about my life and say nice things. ) She was like this is one the hardest weeks etc,etc.

    So I responded more firmly. I basically said I have no idea why its hard because you don't tell me anything, also that she doesn't seem to care about what i say, and reiterated that if she can't see me fine, but being all mysterious is not ok.

    So i left at that. I'm not one of those stereotypical beta nice guys. I'm an assertive alpha male, who treats women with respect. She knows this and I have to tell her when I am upset which isn't often.

    She must have gotten the point but couple hours later I get a couple joke funny pictures which she always sends me. I just responded ok cool thanks. And then she sent another one.

    My point is that its cool she is trying to be nice, but my issue isn't with her ability to joke with me and be cuesty its that if our work schedules don't match and we are in an exclusive relationship it would be nice to know what f is up?

    I'm a busy professional working 60+ hours a week so she knows I'm not this needy guy waiting on her, but this has been one of the first times I'm not responsive. Once when we were just f buddies I froze her out for a week and it was the first time she actually acted like she cared.

    This girl cares about me a lot and her stupid cutesy messages are a way to reconnect but shes avoiding everything I say.

    Advice on where to go next?

    I mean just I freeze out more and not respond. Do I wait until I get off work late and just tell her i was working late. Or do I confront the issue more?

  5. #5
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: question with gf. need advice. Freezeout? Call her out?

    Dude you may be a wonderful boyfriend to her but you are been needy.agree with nice bit.good you acknowleged.question is how do you act look out for my practical guide coming out soon. general sort of but yh.

  6. #6
    tonystark88 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: question with gf. need advice. Freezeout? Call her out?

    When I with her I act alpha and she knows it

  7. #7
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: question with gf. need advice. Freezeout? Call her out?

    Woah man..
    You sort of drifted a bit.it can be salvaged.sometimes when they dont want to see you..


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