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  • 1 Post By cdharders

Thread: How to make sense of delayed flakes

  1. #1
    PokerPlayer is offline PUA in Training
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    Default How to make sense of delayed flakes

    Lately I've had a few cases like this of girls giving me their numbers and because of some constraint I couldn't call them for some time but I texted them to let them know. They reply and when the time comes to call them they don't answer and don't call back. In both these examples I'm almost certain to run into these girls again at some point in the future which makes this even more baffling.

    Example 1: I meet this girl at a meetup but don't talk all that much. Later I run into her cause it turns out she lives in my complex. She recognizes me first. We talk a while. I get her number. We're both about to leave town (this was right before Christmas) so a few hours later I text her and tell her I'll call her after the new year and she text back that that sound great. She doesn't answer me after new year.

    Example 2: This girl who plays poker at the same bar I do had given me IOIs in the past so this time I make a point to talk to her more. She gives me IOIs again. Makes a point of "saying goodbye" to me at the end of the night alone so at that point I suggest we should hang out and I get her number. I realize I'm going to be out the next 2 nights so I text her to tell her that and tell her I'll call her on the weekend. She sends a long text back and says she's free Sunday night. I call her then and she never gets back to me.

  2. #2
    cdharders's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to make sense of delayed flakes

    Some girls just don't like phone calls. The other thjng that confused the shot out of me but has been true a lot is women don't always save the contact name in their phone, so sometimes they'll see a number they don't recognize and won't pick up. Usually, I'll text first (never text that I'm goin to call), then call immediately when she texts back. If she doesn't pick up, I keep texting
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    Default Re: How to make sense of delayed flakes

    I always call first. It can set you apart because most guys, especially if they are younger, only text. It can show balls that you called and set you apart. However, some girls get creeped out or feel weird if you call. They are not used to it. I dated a 20 year old woman who told me she talked on the phone a total of 10 hours a year! I called her more than anyone she knew and I called her once a week. This is why some women get uneasy with a phone call, they aren't used to it.

    Don't worry. The first one flaked because it was so long after you saw her. When you meet a girl and she shows some interest but you don't escalate you only have a small window to set up a meet or it go's cold.

    The second girl told you she was free on Sunday. This was her indirect way of saying she wanted to see you on Sunday. You should have set up a meet on Sunday right then instead of waiting and calling her that day. You missed her hint.

  4. #4
    Dj Chill is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How to make sense of delayed flakes

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    I always call first. It can set you apart because most guys, especially if they are younger, only text. It can show balls that you called and set you apart. However, some girls get creeped out or feel weird if you call. They are not used to it. I dated a 20 year old woman who told me she talked on the phone a total of 10 hours a year! I called her more than anyone she knew and I called her once a week. This is why some women get uneasy with a phone call, they aren't used to it.

    Don't worry. The first one flaked because it was so long after you saw her. When you meet a girl and she shows some interest but you don't escalate you only have a small window to set up a meet or it go's cold.

    The second girl told you she was free on Sunday. This was her indirect way of saying she wanted to see you on Sunday. You should have set up a meet on Sunday right then instead of waiting and calling her that day. You missed her hint.
    Yeah id call too, sort of in a confirmation way...text first, get a response or few texts in, then call. If they have anything to question about why you called just say I think its more natural to hear a voice when communicating then reading words on a screen....or it takes too long to text and is easier to vocalize.

    I always hated texting and I preferred calling especially when setting up dates cause it takes too long to text back and forth to make serious plans. I remember I was having difficulty with this one hottie and I thought fuck If I keep texting at this rate it's going to make the situation lame and or kill it, after 3rd-4th text I called and negotiated plans whilst looking online at my computer for the situation, she complimented me and thought it was nice how smooth I planned it....more so how clean it went considering I was checking times/dates on the computer and had all the information present needed to make it happen. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail...

    Id say in a greater preference more had no issues to talk, just sometimes they had to make privacy aka you call, no answer..then a few minutes later they call back cause they had to get their privacy....especiall y if your talking some good stuff, im sure just as they would you don't want others prying in on your juicy conversation.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How to make sense of delayed flakes

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    It can show balls that you called and set you apart. However, some girls get creeped out or feel weird if you call.
    I find these days that most girls get creeped out. I'd say more specifically, most girls 25 and under seem to get awkward when talking on the phone. I think most girls these days would rather text. I don't believe you lose any points at all by not calling. Yes, if you call and you make a good impression, and she's not awkward about it, it's a very good thing. I usually don't bother anymore, I find I can get what I need to get done via text.

    Now, in your particular situation: I noticed that in both cases you pretty much texted immediately to explain a possible complication with logistics.. I believe this showed a lot of interest, too quickly, and was possibly also a DLV. The first case is more understandable; you wanted to explain that you would be out of town for a while. Fair enough. However, she lives in your complex which complicates things a little on it's own.. It also makes it especially important that you show NO TRACE of neediness or scarcity. I think you would have been much better off waiting a few days on this one. You have no obligation to explain yourself, and there's nothing wrong with waiting a few days to text a girl in that situation, regardless of logistics.

    In the case of the second girl.. Texting her immediately to tell her that you were busy for the next 2 nights? Unless you guys had initially agreed to meet up on one of those 2 nights I have no clue what the reasoning for this was. It showed an immense amount of interest far too early. If you had just waited until you were free on the weekend and then sent a text you would have been fine.

    You don't need to explain yourself to girls, in fact they don't want you to. Especially not right after giving you their number.

    No worries though, learn from it and move on to the next. We all do these things from time to time..


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