So I already f'd it up, got butt hurt and lost composure, lesson learned but I'm wondering how the experts would have handled this.
me: It's so freaking hot outside! I had to wear my Speedo to work today. Hi by the way!
her: Hahaha hi
me: Instead of running the AC we all sit on ice blocks, I'm literally freezing my butt off What's your cute face up to?
her: Hahahaha just plugging away
me: How about we plug away on a glass of wine after work?
her: No can do tonight the bachelor is on!!!!
her: Spaghetti factory is doing dinner for 4 bucks tonight and I'm almost disgusting enough to go
her: But so shameful
me: DVR it!! I'll see you there at 7:00
her: Hahaha your bill will be $8 you cheap farks now get out of my face
What would you have said next?