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  • 3 Post By SerialSeducer

Thread: Flaky - Advice

  1. #1
    David_1211 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Flaky - Advice

    Background:

    Met this girl (hb8) on a party bus to 6th street two weeks ago. Had good connection, made out quite a few times and all and she even ended up staying the night at my place with her best friend in the spare room I have.

    A week later she hits me up to see if I was going back to 6th, I said yes and we met up again. This time though the connection was better and we held hands and all and made out a lot more through out the night. I could tell she was definitely interested. She sat on my lap the entire way back from 6th and spent the night at my place again. This time she slept with me. Of course we made out and fooled around and she told me she didn't want to have sex. I told her that I would respect that.

    We've been texting and snap chatting this past week and she was definitely giving IOIs.

    Went to a party last night that I invited her to. She was there with her 3 friends which made it harder for me to get her attention because you know how girls are at parties with their friends, a lot of the times they don't leave each other's side (and her friends were not even hot). I approached her a couple times, but with all the sound at the party it was hard to keep a conversation going and it seemed she seemed to be ignoring me the entire time I was there. I didn't become a puppy dog by staying by her side and be that guy so I let her enjoy her time with her friends as I enjoyed my time with mine.

    Issue:

    Yesterday during the day, I told her that she should join me for dinner but she said that she had already made plans with her friends before going out. She did say that we should have dinner tonight. So, the last time I talked to her at the party last night, I asked her if we were still on for tomorrow night (today) and she said yes of course in a bubbly way, which made it seem like she was excited about it.

    **I called her late this morning to confirm a time, but she didn't answer. So I waited about 2 hours later to text her and asked her if 7 or 8pm would work for tonight.

    She answers back with "I'm really sorry but I really don't think I can go "
    Wtf...

    She just flaked out on me and I don't know what to answer back.
    Why do you guys think she backed out last minute? Anything I do wrong here?

    I would appreciate the advice, gentlemen.

  2. #2
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Flaky - Advice

    Girls are flakey man. It doesn't mean she's not interested. You just deal with it and act likes it's not a big deal. Don't get upset. Wait a few days to text her again or extend the interaction next time you see her to an insta-date.
    Or just go balls to the wall and tell her directly through text that you want to see her and that you guys are hanging out such and such time such and such day.
    My questions for you are.
    1.) why are you trying to set up dinner dates. Don't do that. It's alotta pressure and sets up a relationship frame. You need to setup "fun" dates or ask for help with something and then bring her back to your place because you "forgot" something. There's more I could say but I'll stop with that.
    2.) why do you care if she flakes? Just don't care and be persistant till you get bored or get exactly what you want. Meet other girls and get a huge circle of girls to talk to.
    Then invite her places from a place of higher value or ask her for help with something.

  3. #3
    David_1211 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Flaky - Advice

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyl3 View Post
    Girls are flakey man. It doesn't mean she's not interested. You just deal with it and act likes it's not a big deal. Don't get upset. Wait a few days to text her again or extend the interaction next time you see her to an insta-date.
    Or just go balls to the wall and tell her directly through text that you want to see her and that you guys are hanging out such and such time such and such day.
    My questions for you are.
    1.) why are you trying to set up dinner dates. Don't do that. It's alotta pressure and sets up a relationship frame. You need to setup "fun" dates or ask for help with something and then bring her back to your place because you "forgot" something. There's more I could say but I'll stop with that.
    2.) why do you care if she flakes? Just don't care and be persistant till you get bored or get exactly what you want. Meet other girls and get a huge circle of girls to talk to.
    Then invite her places from a place of higher value or ask her for help with something.
    Appreciate the response man.

    1) Well originally, she was supposed to go workout with me yesterday and then we were going to grab a bite to eat afterwards, but since she was busy out shopping she said that she couldn't make it so my next though was well maybe asking her to join me for dinner wouldn't be a bad idea. Like I said, she sounded excited about it all so that just led me on.

    I completely understand the whole aspect of a fun date, and as a matter of fact I told her and her friends last week before going to 6th that we should all go to a country dance hall this Thursday and they seemed excited about it.

    I replied back with "no worries, maybe next time!"
    - Should I still invite her country dancing on Thursday, though, later this week? When would be a good day to ask her? Don't want to seem too pushy.

    2) I really don't care much if she flaked out, I just didn't know if I did something wrong to cause that or not. No biggie!

    Thanks again.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Flaky - Advice

    I understand. I would of told her to come watch a movie with me in that situation instead of dinner.
    Stop inviting her friends. Invite HER. If she is kinda apprehensive or mentions her friends, then tell them they can tag along if they want.
    That reply was okay. Saying "no worries" would of been better. More challenging.
    Invite her tomorrow night. Later like between 6-8pm over texting.
    Tell her you're going to that country dancing thing and that you want her to join you.
    If she doesn't reply. Wait a day and tell her that you think it's so cute how she's so hard to get ahold of. Then tell her you have a quick question. When she replys, invite her to join you again.
    Your a man so you do what you want. Invite her out as many times as you want but frame it as her tagging along an you're going to has a blast regardless if she comes.
    She flaked because she flaked. Probably has nothing to do with you at all.
    -Kyle.

  5. #5
    David_1211 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Flaky - Advice

    Thank you sir, always good getting a different perspective.

    I'll take your advice and run with it.

    Lets see what happens... In the mean time, time to talk to other girls.

  6. #6
    SerialSeducer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Flaky - Advice

    This happened to me not ONE MONTH AGO. Very similar circumstances. Went on like 5 dates with a HB9. Everything was going swimmingly. She introduced me to all her friends. She would text me when she was out and drunk (BIG IOI). She slept over at my place. I did NOT sleep with her because she wasnt ready and I was ok with that. Sound familiar? Well I think what happen was I started to ascribe deeper meanings and start to think of her as the prize instead of myself. I caught feelings and they betrayed me. It wasn't overt i dont think... but in the subtle way that desire can exude from us Im sure she caught on (wether unconsciously or not)... in the end she flake out on dinner plans I had for her. There was NO recovery after that. I was too accomodating to reschedule. Too eager to see her. I was TOAST. The entire thing fell apart a week later when she went MIA. No contact. Crickets. It sucked to be sure. IT wasnt until 10 days later that she text me an apology consolation message that I ignored. Damage was done, no sense in giving her the satisfaction of a reply.

    Learn from my mistake. NOW its time to be the prize. Freeze her out. Until she breaks and makes REPEATED contact. If she doesnt FORGET her and move on. Bad news and red flags


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