NEVER double text. It always makes you look worse. She is winning the investment game.
NEVER double text. It always makes you look worse. She is winning the investment game.
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Yeah I know. How do I get rid of this urge to text girls like a hobby? It's even worse if they actually text back frequently. Also how would I build confort with a girl who isn't comfortable being alone with me and keeps relatively quiet when we are both with other colleagues?
I'm not an asshole, but that was...god awful and a classic example of what not to do and for you to never do again.
As for conditioning I can help you with that.
I'm a writer, so there is always a compulsion to write. The whole innovation of texting really never helped my cause. But over time, doing my diligence of spending money reading up on great texting guides and partaking on the forums, I've learned to curve any need to text.
Here's couple things I did as drilling practice.
If you initiate text with a girl, write your text, turn off your phone and toss it aside. Don't sit by waiting for her response like a puppy dog. As hard as it is (especially a girl you like), resist all urges to pick the damn thing up. In fact, go do something else to keep your mind preoccupied.
Resist all urge to respond to be the last man to get in a word. You start the text, you be the first to end it by letting her say the last word. Unless it is a question that prompts a response from you, just read the text, shut your phone off and toss it aside.
Some girls texts like crazy, some girls take a day or so to respond, some girls don't all that much, so you need to calibrate appropriately and bring yourself down to her level and mirror her style. Whatever the case, always wait for her response before texting back. If she takes an hour to text you back, then mirror her intervals. And while practicing these drills, avoid double texting.
Another good one is practice keeping your text as short as hers.
And just remember, texting isn't the way to go to generating attraction. Anyone can hide behind a screen and take all the time in the world to come up with a cool response. Texting should be used to set up logistics or used as a "holding pattern" to stay on a girl's radar if you can't meet. You don't want to be the texting buddy, which is exactly what happened there. It's not PUA. We don't undermine our social skills via blocks of text, we deal with women in the flesh.
Once you've condition yourself, you don't have to adhere to these. Guys who got good texting game and confidence text whenever they want, however way they want, but knows when not to overtext.
I know I don't always follow these rules. Sometimes I write long texts. Sometimes I'm the last person to get in a word. But if I find myself doing that too much, I adjust. So if I'm writing a long text, well, I don't do that more than once in a given day (to demonstrate I got other shit to do). Just gotta keep a fine balance.
The universal PUA RULE is DO NOT OVERTEXT!
Thank you I.M.Mortal! It gets clearer and clearer with every asshole and no-asshole^^
How do I keep myself on the radar without becoming the texting body? Also, what should the first message be after 2 weeks/a month. Her and I both know I farked up, so what do I write (may be in T-Mal's guide but I couldn't find it so far)
Ps: Is it a good idea to use university parties to build attraction and comfort? Doing this during the day would look like chasing to everyone since she's always outside with the smokers and I literally have no reason to be out there as no-smoker
Pss: Feel always free to link threads I didn't see and stop calling you asshole or not. I take advices from who you ever are!
Staying on her radar is easy. I use a tactic known as a key lock sequence. And it's a simple 3 step.How do I keep myself on the radar without becoming the texting body? Also, what should the first message be after 2 weeks/a month. Her and I both know I farked up, so what do I write (may be in T-Mal's guide but I couldn't find it so far)
1. Key - I pull her out of her boredom trance or w/e by sparking her attraction with a cool innovative text. (this is where my strength as a writer helps).
2. Turn - Once she responds, I make a connection. Say something that only you can say to that girl. An inside joke you both share or a moment you share exclusively.
3. Push - If there is a logistics involved such as setting up a date, then that is what you shoot for T-Mal style. None of this boring "What are u up to Saturday night?" or "Do you wanna go to X?" crap.
If there is no logistics involved then you end it at #2.
I will give you an example of a text exchange I did last week that I sent to my "long game" girl. I saw her Wed night at a club. She left for Vegas super early in the morning. I knew I won't see her for 3 days til the weekend. I wanted to text her something. This is my holding pattern text to maintain attraction. I texted her the next day.
12:39p -ME: Those brown bedroomy eyes, that sweet sexy smile, that body...oooh so hot! Anyways, enough about me Just checkin’ to see if you made it to Vegas ok with that late drive and sore leg.
12:42p -HER: Haha u so crazy! Yup I made it! thanks for checking!
12:52p –ME: Awesome! Have fun! Don’t rob all the casinos, save some for me. And if any drunk guys try to pick you u up, bust out the boyfriend card and tell ‘em “Sorry, I have 2 boyfriends” (lol)
3:59p – HER: I’m not a gambler, drinker, smoker, but I do love getting dressed up and dancing the night away! So the casino’s money is safe and will remain the casino’s money. Two bfs...u. r. bad.
As you see, I could've gone on, but I decided to end it there letting her get the last word. So what did I do overall?
- I sparked her attention and prompted a response.
- The prior night she told me she hurt her leg at the gym, so that was my reason/connection.
- I ended the exchange on a high note.
- I didn't text her for the rest of her trip...Until the day she returned. And that text was more of a comfort/rapport text.
I accomplished what I planned to do in a 4 line exchange. Showed her a genuine feeling of care while being playful. Didn't get caught up in fluff talk to be a texting buddy.
In your situation, I would send out a "compliance text" after 2 weeks to see if she bites. If she don't, wait another 2 weeks. Then you can say fvck it or play the persistent game. Wait 1 month and if nada then time to throw in the towel. Live and learn.
You can re-engage a girl gone cold in several ways. Here is a safe one.
YOU: "Well it’s obvious you were abducted by aliens...I hope they were the hot Tatum Chaning type and not the green ugly ones. When they return you, text me. I have a question for you."
OR here is 2 high risk ones used when you don't give a shit anymore.
YOU: "I forgot. Are we fighting, and most importantly, am I winning? :P
or here is one I modified this to your needs. RISKY! But will likely prompt a response lol.
YOU: “Whoa, the professor just shared with me these statistics. Did you know that 93% of girls who are on the computers for more than 6 hours a day masturbate in the shower?"
YOU: “It’s true. The other 7% sing.”
HER: “Oh really?”
ME: “Do you know what they sing?”
HER: “No, what?”
ME: “Oh, you must be one of the 93% of girls that masturbate then.”
It is a good place to practice your game and get your mind off this chick so you don't get serious one-itis. And frankly, it is good that she sees you with other girls. Don't let her see you chasing them, you want her to see you already with them hanging out. Use other girls to boost your social value in her eyes. She will reconsider "Hmm maybe this guy got something." It will make you look more attractive.Ps: Is it a good idea to use university parties to build attraction and comfort? Doing this during the day would look like chasing to everyone since she's always outside with the smokers and I literally have no reason to be out there as no-smoker
Thank you, I can't express how much I appreciate your help!
I think my questions are answered now.
Could someone please explain to me what double texting is?
I will actually go outside of the norm and say that it is possible to double text. If you're really good at text game and you understand how it works, it is possible to send multiple messages in a row and get away with it. I can say that I double text every now and again, hell I've even sent 15 messages in a row on one occasion (It was out of a joke, and yes I was still successful with the girl). In the end, it all comes down to experience and knowing how to play the game right.
"There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X
So it's ok if she sends two texts in a row but not us guys? Does this mean she should be texting more than us?
@Mystik: As I understand it now, it is like validation seeking or like you needed the response desperately.
@Experts: HAD to text her today (Sunday), because the results of an exam came out and I had to give the information to those collagues who where absent during the distribution (I am the delegate/students'speaker, however the correct English term is^^). She was one of those. So I HAD to break the two weeks. The texting just was nice and just information about the exam and some complains about our marks.
Now I am thinking I shall just continue the texting break?