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Thread: Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

  1. #1
    SomethingElse is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

    Now just in December I made the biggest AFC moves ever and I'm probably friendzoned atm or maybe not ( who knows) but not in an awesome situation to be in either way.

    So I started to go over to this girls house near end of December only went twice till I ruined it.

    First day was great and I was able to keep a strong frame. Second day I got all afc and made a huge mess of things, so f*cked up. I got a little drunk and high with her and just did some emberassing things. Once I got slightly drunk I started to over think everything and started to say to myself I'm going to hit the friendzone if I keep going at this rate and I ended up disagreeing way to much and gave off a negative vibe. Then the biggest and most stupidest mistake I ever made was that when she asked me to leave ( at like 4 a.m in the morning) I didn't, soo stupid of me. So she messages me the next day and tells me to never show up at her house again, which is crappy yet we were still talking over text a lot. Now we were working on something together and when she did her half I was unappreciative of it and she got really pissed, once I said sorry it all came crashing down. She completely just did not want to do anything that had to do with me. stopped texting and only using email to contact me.

    One day I saw her walking down the street and spoke to her a bit and she gave me cold body language and wasn't talking much and IOD'd the sh*t out of me. So I walk home thinking its over and a few days later she messages me saying everything was fine and she still wanted to work on what we were doing together. Thing is I replied with an afc email agreeing with every single thing she said LOL ( like wtf is wrong with me?) which got no reply and a couple of failed texts and so I go NC her for 2 weeks and emailed her again after doing some reading and she gives replies now.

    Now my question is how do I rebuild the attraction here, there is like zero attraction here I believe all comfort I assume? This is one big mess I'm trying to clean up. How can I get this back to where it was. Also what are some things that might be going through her head that I need to change? Where do I go from here to regain my frame? Anything else you guys feel the need to add in is also appreciated. Thanks guys !

  2. #2
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

    Um, you ****** up in like, 1000 different ways. There's no going back in your situation. You acted like an idiot to her.
    Once she 100% realizes you actually are a total DBAG there's no going back. Combine that with the low value you radiated towards her, & there's nothing you can do.

    Maybe, maybe.... Re-initiate with her in a few months, but that's it. That's all you can do.

    Nobody wants to be around somebody like that. Ever. Would you want to be around a girl who was literally a bit** through and through 100% of the time? No? That's what she thinks. That you're an a**hole. Like, a legit a**hole. Not a playful funny challenging a**hole that they love.

    Staying over her house when she told you to leave? Wtf? That's like, straight rape vibe.

    You're not friend zoned you're not anything, she doesn't want anything to do with you, big difference.

  3. #3
    Dizzie's Avatar
    Dizzie is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

    You said it right, you gave off a really negative vibe from the get go. You gave her negative emotions so she distanced herself more and more. Unless a woman is batsh*t crazy, the only thing you are going to get with this kind of behaviour is a restraining order. Forget about this girl, you totally farked it up. Move on and meet other women.

  4. #4
    SomethingElse is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

    wow... Thanks for that, the clarification I needed. I'm so pathetic , sorry you guys had to read that. I hate my life... going to go try and improve myself or just go shoot myself, thanks for the help guys. No way I can fix this eh...

    I mean we are still talking.. you guys say go No contact now then?

  5. #5
    wildstorms's Avatar
    wildstorms is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

    Ok this guy farked up pretty bad, I agree. But guys lets help him out a bit, How can he improve himself? What else can he do in this situation? He's gotta come back as the champ and get out of chumpzone, I feel my advice is still in chumpzone, so I won't say anything. Let's help him out though! He needs a boost, what do all you pros out there advise him to do to bounce back??! So he doesn't fark up again in the future, show him what he's missing!

  6. #6
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    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

    You say your still talking. I suggest you drop ALL feelings for this girl, not because you messed up, but because the issue is much deeper. Even if you got this girl tomorrow, that would change nothing. While I don't feel like sitting here typing what you need to do to change, I'll summarize it by saying you need to come to love yourself and focus on self improvement. I'd be willing to go into more detail via skype. Message me with your skype if you want to get this ball rolling.

  7. #7
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

    You wouldn't have this sort of thing happen if you were comfortable with yourself. You read WAY TOO MUCH into pua and psyched yourself into being a total D-bag so you wouldn't be friend zoned.

    It's not always about disqualifying and you don't disagree just for the sake of it. If she says something you disagree with tell her you disagree and why. That is if you honestly disagree. Don't start an argument, that's a big no-no.

    Use this as a learning experience. Stop being so hard on yourself and look at it in a positive light. Allot of successful people fail . It's part of the game. Learn from it and don't do it again.

    FYI take up listing on his offer. That's mighty nice of him and you could learn allot!

  8. #8
    cdharders's Avatar
    cdharders is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

    Schedule a time to meet in person. You've beat yourself up enough. Focus on the future and what you should do right. You can't stick in in her over email, so focus on a date.
    The Official Tinder Playbook--> http://conquerdatingapps.co m <--Stop swiping, start hooking up

  9. #9
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

    Your situation comes off as you might have some work to do but then as you take the time to improve and explore more..

    'hi x,
    you are a very nice person overall when it comes to us, and seem supportive.however i wont take that from you.got to head out.wil talk to you later..'

    best delivered at a time you are not available.Never get too comfortable at her place, and dont fail her shit tests.Peace

  10. #10
    Will E. is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Fark me keep making a huge mess of things... need some clarification

    Hey SomethingElse, don't beat up on yourself too much. Learn from it. This is good motivation to not make the same mistakes again. You are in recovery mode, but you can still get back with her. Meet with her in person instead of email like Chris said.


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