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  • 1 Post By MiikusMaximus
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Thread: Elephant in the room

  1. #1
    Colin Fallows is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Elephant in the room

    How do I engage someone in group chat who doesn't want to engage

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Elephant in the room

    If it's a group chat, don't engage them. Focus on the other group members and just make it a great time without them. Either they will feel left out and join in eventually, or they're a boring-ass stick in the mud who you shouldn't even bother with.

    If it's a chat with a single person, then don't try to pry them open. People can tell when you're trying to get them engaged and worked towards a certain objective. It's a matter of whether they will let you do it or not. If they are resistant, they will continue to be resistant until you work down their barriers. To do that requires a good amount of game and a silver tongue on your part.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X

  3. #3
    MiikusMaximus is offline PUA in Training
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    Post Re: Elephant in the room

    Quote Originally Posted by Swagman View Post
    If it's a group chat, don't engage them. Focus on the other group members and just make it a great time without them. Either they will feel left out and join in eventually, or they're a boring-ass stick in the mud who you shouldn't even bother with.
    Right on.

    But also, every once in a while, offer the non-participant a chance to join the discussion with a playful tease, or challenging question. Sometimes the whole group will stop and wait for the withdrawn person to answer.

    Also, remember the general social principle that the maximum effective group conversation size is four. A group of five is going to split into 3&2 or 4&1.

    So when you engage a group, aim for you and the girl you're interested in to be the group of 2. It's also important to merge and flow the group dynamic. So let's say you mini-isolate with your girl, talk for a few minutes, and escalate/create sexual tension, then merge the two of you back into the group for a minute or more of conversation. Then go back to your private world.

    This let's everyone know that all is good with the two of you, and that they don't need to worry. It also is a way to show that you are a leader and that you're not afraid of losing the girl. Plus it's just the normal natural flow of group interaction.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Elephant in the room

    I never thought of a group in that context, but I can see that you're absolutely right now that I think of how a normal group conversation goes.

    The more people you're going to get in a conversation, the larger the proportions of people participating and not participating. In addition, the larger the group, the more likely it is for there to be more sub-groups. Even with a group of 5, you can end up with 2-2-1. Observe and recognize these group dynamics, and then take advantage of them as you please.
    "There is no better than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss, contains its own seed, its own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time." - Malcolm X


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