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  • 1 Post By T-Mal
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Thread: post-hookup won't text

  1. #1
    icedude2010 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default post-hookup won't text

    Hey guys, (this turned out pretty long so if you want to skip to the main issue it's the last two paragraphs!)

    THE BACKGROUND:
    So there's a girl that I started working on early january and we had gone on a date, but due to unforseen circumstances, I was not able to really make a move beyond general kino and a simple kiss close. After that, no sort of meet up really worked for a couple of weeks so I kind of froze out and moved on from her. After about a week freeze out (I ran into her a couple of times) she texted me and invited me to something her and her friends were going to, which, while I figured might not be great to go with friends, sounded like fun so I decided I would join. We had a pretty good evening, no kiss or anything, but we talked a lot and after that she seemed more responsive than ever. I thought of it as a good evening to test the waters and build some comfort.

    After that she was more responsive than ever, we ran into each other several times and she seemed to be very responsive to flirting, kino, etc. So then Friday night we decide to go to a bar together, the usual happened, kino, a couple kisses here and there, dancing, etc. Afterward we go back to her place and some steamy shit goes down (no F close buut pretty close) and she invites me to some thing she has the following afternoon, and says she needs to get some rest so I go home, goodnight kiss on the way out.

    The next day I text her that I won't be able to attend the thing that afternoon (in a joking, lighthearted way) and she doesn't respond. She's generally pretty bad at responding to texts in a fashionable time so I forgot about it. Text her the next day to invite her to hang out for the sb, but she responds very late that day saying sorry she had been doing other stuff and was tired, whatever, kinda lame. I ran into her the day after that and she seemed very responsive again, laughed at my jokes, etc. But then I texted her a couple days after that a re-engaging text (involving an inside joke) and she never responded.

    THE QUESTION:
    My main concern here is the lack of responding to texts, I haven't texted her since the last one (I sent four day ago). I haven't ever rlly run into this kinda thing, where a girl seems into you for a while then you hookup and she isn't anymore...

    I've kinda decided to move on cause she's too flakey, I have other girls and have been hitting up other girls, I just thought I would see what you guys think about this chick. If I should try again or not, I was trying to do something this weekend. I'm not worried about rejection so much as I just don't want to seem like a fool who keeps texting this chick when she isn't responding to texts.

    Thanks for reading that all and thanks for the help!

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: post-hookup won't text

    This is the kind of girl a guy needs to freeze out for a while.

    She's extremely flakey & has all the power/control right now.
    She's getting you to invest all the time & effort into chasing her, & she's non-reciprocative.

    Definitely put her on the back burner for a while & maybe come back to her in a couple weeks, just to gauge her receptiveness.


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  3. #3
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    Default Re: post-hookup won't text

    Many women use this technique and we guys always fall for it: They give us a taste and like crack we become addicts and start chasing, thinking about the girl everyday, and all that other stuff. It's not just you, girls use it to be in command of the situation since they don't want to think that they gave it up easily... My advice would be to not text her at all and let her come chasing you.
    You lose some you win some, learn from your mistakes and get better!

  4. #4
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    Default Re: post-hookup won't text

    I had this same exact situation happen to me.
    Basically like they said above, she trying to get you to chase her, because she feels like she's got you. It makes girls feel good, knowing you want them.
    On a different note, some girls just don't care to text back or talk for a few days after a hook up. I've been in the same situation, where I messed around with a girl, & just didn't feel like talking for a week or so.

    There's 2 ways to go about it. You can either freeze her out, & than when you see her in person, gauge how happy she is to see you, than game.
    Or
    Chase her, but chasing girls is tricky. You need to chase them in a fun, playful, non needy way. Kind of tricky, but it does work if done right.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: post-hookup won't text

    The other guys got it on lock.

    My 2 cents:

    Sounds like you run into her fairly often, so go cold. Once you run into her again, try to insta-date her. If the logistics are bad or you just can't insta-date at the time, set up a date right then and there. Other than that just remain cold for some time.

  6. #6
    icedude2010 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: post-hookup won't text

    Thanks for the help guys, the general consensus seems to be continue the freeze out and keep interactions limited to daily interactions for a bit and maybe try to escalate casually there. I did run into her once since the hook up and she seemed happy to see me and laughed at my joke so that's probably good. These types of games are kinda crazy, although I guess it's not much different from guys doing kinda similar stuff to make the girl chase after them... clever girls.

  7. #7
    icedude2010 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: post-hookup won't text

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyl3 View Post
    Chase her, but chasing girls is tricky. You need to chase them in a fun, playful, non needy way. Kind of tricky, but it does work if done right.
    I don't think I would do this in this situation, but how exactly do you chase in a playful way? Most of my interactions are playful anyway, but I'm not sure how to go about the actual chase in a playful way I guess. I have some guesses but they might be terribly wrong haha.

  8. #8
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: post-hookup won't text

    ..This girl likes you but you seem to miss shots.the time at the close location you should have slowed down.always work your way up steadily.if you go for those areas too soon no matter how hot she is for you it will trigger red signals.also dont seem too be carried away.relax and enjoy the moment. Now go get another girl and practice this.on the other just talk to her when you see her but once you perceive iois.set up a meet then transition from there.

  9. #9
    icedude2010 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: post-hookup won't text

    Sounds good, I do have other girls around that I can turn to, it just so happens I hit it off better with this girl I think, and also probably has to do with the push pull thing she's doing.

    One last question: there's a date function this weekend at my work, I absolutely shouldn't take her right?

  10. #10
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: post-hookup won't text

    If she is being standoffish then hold off for a bit.


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