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  • 1 Post By MiikusMaximus

Thread: Help before I mess this up further!

  1. #1
    blitz8's Avatar
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    Default Help before I mess this up further!

    Well, I've had my ups and downs and been into PUA for a little over a year now. Women still confuse me and occasionally I fall back into bad habits like I think I did here. I really like this one, it's different, not one-itis per se (and trust me, I've had that). So here are the highlights. Any and all advice on how to get this one to turn the corner are appreciated!

    • Meet HB 8ish a few months back, played for another team in my flag football league
    • Been texting occasionally for a couple months, finally got her to come out with me and my friends last weekend
    • She got along great with my friends, one of the girls in the group asked me what our deal was and said she could tell that HB 8 liked me
    • Exchanged buying each other rounds of drinks, she was the one that transitioned us from rounds of beer to liquor... decent flirting and kino escalation
    • She came back to my place after (her car was parked there) and ended up falling asleep with me on the couch. I live in walking distance from where we went out, there was no way she could drive anyway.
    • Woke up next morning, I figured she'd bolt right away, but she stayed and hung out for a couple hours... laying together on couch watching tv... she had no problems with me having my head and hand on her chest
    • When she left I kissed her (I had moved in for one earlier in the am but she kinda turned away)... she didn't pull back this time but kind of tensed up, was a light kiss and she giggled a bit. I said we need to work on that and that I'd like to see her again soon. Kissed her again and all appeared ok.
    • Since then, things have been off... she is VERY slow to respond to my texts... I froze her out for 2 days and she didn't reply when I reinitiated today
    • I want to ask her out for Saturday (and here is where I think I went wrong) so I tried calling her after the no response to my text... no answer. Left brief "call me back" vm. I don't expect she will call me back.


    What do I do next? Freeze out seemingly didn't work and I know she wasn't busy this afternoon (we are all snowed in and she was posting on FB that her TV was out, so I KNOW she wasn't too busy).

    What baffles me on this one is that it is someone I've known a while now, she seemed genuinely interested and even stayed the morning after staying over (I should mention, we did not hook up, but laid together all night). She also added on FB a couple of the girls in my group of friends that we were out with. I can't read her. I just don't want to F this one up and see her as real GF material; but if not, I hope our friendship isn't killed by this either.

  2. #2
    MiikusMaximus is offline PUA in Training
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    Wink Re: Help before I mess this up further!

    You probably already messed it up.

    First of all, you slept together but didn't hook up. This puts a lot of pressure on the relationship. You had two chances to do it and didn't.

    Second, you kissed awkwardly...and didn't go any further.

    Third you're seeking her approval and permission...women want to be taken...if she doesn't want it, she'll stop you. Don't be abusive, if she says "stop" or pushes you away, stop.

    All that being said. If you want to salvage it. Pretend like nothing happened. Flirt with her and other women in front of her. Don't try to like her or give her lingering looks. Just have fun like before. If she still likes you, you'll see it in the way she stares at you, and demands your attention. Be cool.

    Have fun and good luck!

  3. #3
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    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help before I mess this up further!

    You messed up in a few ways but no big deal. Life is life, you'll learn, no big deal.
    I'm going to keep it simple,
    1.) she slept over and you didn't hook up. You didn't even kiss her that night. That sucked man, she probably wanted it, but you didn't even try.
    2.) she stayed over, & you didn't even kiss her until the end of the hangout. C'mon man that's lame. Than you kissed her awkward. Where is the excitement in that.
    3.) you actually care about her approval or whether or not she texts you back. Don't.

    She may actually get a little buyers remorse since you didn't f-close her.

    This is salvageable, it's just going to take a little work. Listen to what mikus said, he's right.

  4. #4
    blitz8's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help before I mess this up further!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyl3 View Post
    You messed up in a few ways but no big deal. Life is life, you'll learn, no big deal.
    I'm going to keep it simple,
    1.) she slept over and you didn't hook up. You didn't even kiss her that night. That sucked man, she probably wanted it, but you didn't even try.
    2.) she stayed over, & you didn't even kiss her until the end of the hangout. C'mon man that's lame. Than you kissed her awkward. Where is the excitement in that.
    3.) you actually care about her approval or whether or not she texts you back. Don't.

    She may actually get a little buyers remorse since you didn't f-close her.

    This is salvageable, it's just going to take a little work. Listen to what mikus said, he's right.
    The buyers remorse is almost exactly what I was thinking too. To be fair, I did try / start to go in for a kiss that night; but I probably backed down too fast because she kinda turned her head.

    I'll definitely take a step back. I let myself get wrapped up in it today when she didn't respond after me breaking the freeze and then feeling an urgency because I wanted to hang out with her this weekend. I know I shouldn't have called her at that point.

    Like I said, she really is GF material and it is different, but in the end; I'd rather go back to friends with her than lose it completely. I'm not looking to just hook up with this one.

    Overall, my inner game still needs works and I'm aware of this. Thanks to both of you for the replies.

  5. #5
    Kyl3's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help before I mess this up further!

    You'll get her in the long run man. Like i said, just focus on yourself, & follow mikus advice. Be fun, playful etc & idk. Research stuff on here.
    Definitely look into stronger inner-game stuff on the forums.. That I can't give advice on, it'll just come to you someday & you'll be able to feel it.

    Girls always come back around.
    Believe that.

  6. #6
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help before I mess this up further!

    MiikusMaximus is on the money. Pretend nothing happened. Try get her out again like before in a group. It will be less pressure. She likes a drink...it loosens her up. Its easier for her to say yes to a group meeting than a one on one date. From there get her alone somehow if you can.

    Try kissing behind her ears and neck to activate her errogenous zones. It's natural for a girl to back away a bit, that's when you just grab her head back into yours.

  7. #7
    HardRock is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Help before I mess this up further!

    If she is still open to you talk to her for a while creating and amping attraction.then one you see indicators of interest just move in...if not freeze out for two days and reengage


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