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Thread: Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me

  1. #1
    DPU16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me


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    Unstoppable is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me

    You lost your virginity to her and she's fooling around with a guy the next night... of course your emotions got you tangled up a little.

    My best advice would be to try to see her for what she is as clear as you can.

    Recognize to yourself as well that you're a completely capable guy. One who has already been with a beautiful woman, and that is fully capable of doing it again and again because that is who you are.

    It's all about putting things in perspective.

    Including the BF thing... One step at a time. Sex doesn't translate directly to BF. If your attraction is strong enough though, that would definitely be a possibility.

    Personally, I would do my best to just play it out... maybe test the waters again next time I see her, or maybe even a text to see if we can get anything going. It just seems like the next step, if anything. If that doesn't go well, I move on to bigger and better things

    I'm NOT a PUA, just talking from experience and the little bit a do know about pickup, hope it helps though and gives you at least some third party insight since I saw no one responded yet. That's all, hope everything turns out well!

  3. #3
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me

    You know your relationship better than we do, so you're the best judge as to whether what you have is a purely physical relationship, or something more. If its the latter, then she's at fault for sleeping with another guy, and you need to resolve that. How to do this depends on you views on cheating, i.e, whether you fit into the demographic of people that would immediately break up after it happened to them, or the group that could get over and work past it.

    Would you continue to date this girl if given the opportunity?

  4. #4
    DPU16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me

    Quote Originally Posted by Carter21 View Post
    You know your relationship better than we do, so you're the best judge as to whether what you have is a purely physical relationship, or something more. If its the latter, then she's at fault for sleeping with another guy, and you need to resolve that. How to do this depends on you views on cheating, i.e, whether you fit into the demographic of people that would immediately break up after it happened to them, or the group that could get over and work past it.

    Would you continue to date this girl if given the opportunity?
    Thanks for the reply

    We were never dating - when we 'go out' it's always in a group/friend setting. This is the first time things got physical. I hung out with her just now for 1-2hrs (she lives across the hall)

    Her legs were crossed at times, her hand was in that area, and she was showing what seemed to be negative body language. However, she was looking at my lips at one point, but I didn't make the move to kiss. Afterwards, she was laughing and stuff but still keeping a distance from me (we were hanging out on her bed). What should I do? A relationship in the long-term would be fine (we actually share a decent amt in common in a school where a lot of people just 'fit in', and this ISNT one-itis speaking) with me, but I would have liked to hook up with her more and just taken things slow.

    Things seemed to go well the night of, but now it seems like I'm a typical friendzoned kid she has to blow off - I can't get the FZ if I f-closed can I ?!? this girl is a wildcard haha

    PS: she seemed to brush off any references to the fact that we had sex or to the night we got together. I'm a pretty easy going / funny guy so it was easy to work around, but it seems the dynamic of our relationship has changed. Unsure if its temporary or permanent.

    thanks

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    Default Re: Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me

    Quote Originally Posted by Unstoppable View Post
    You lost your virginity to her and she's fooling around with a guy the next night... of course your emotions got you tangled up a little.

    My best advice would be to try to see her for what she is as clear as you can.

    Recognize to yourself as well that you're a completely capable guy. One who has already been with a beautiful woman, and that is fully capable of doing it again and again because that is who you are.

    It's all about putting things in perspective.

    Including the BF thing... One step at a time. Sex doesn't translate directly to BF. If your attraction is strong enough though, that would definitely be a possibility.

    Personally, I would do my best to just play it out... maybe test the waters again next time I see her, or maybe even a text to see if we can get anything going. It just seems like the next step, if anything. If that doesn't go well, I move on to bigger and better things

    I'm NOT a PUA, just talking from experience and the little bit a do know about pickup, hope it helps though and gives you at least some third party insight since I saw no one responded yet. That's all, hope everything turns out well!
    Check the post above - I'm getting mixed/bad signals from her now. I hung out with her for 1-2 hours. I did gain some inside jokes for possible rapport in the future, but it was confirmation of a disappointing situation. I am sure if she didn't get with the other guy last night (or whatever happened) things would have gone differently.

    I just want to know how I should act from here

  6. #6
    Carter21 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me

    Quote Originally Posted by DPU16 View Post
    Thanks for the reply

    We were never dating - when we 'go out' it's always in a group/friend setting. This is the first time things got physical. I hung out with her just now for 1-2hrs (she lives across the hall)

    Her legs were crossed at times, her hand was in that area, and she was showing what seemed to be negative body language. However, she was looking at my lips at one point, but I didn't make the move to kiss. Afterwards, she was laughing and stuff but still keeping a distance from me (we were hanging out on her bed). What should I do? A relationship in the long-term would be fine (we actually share a decent amt in common in a school where a lot of people just 'fit in', and this ISNT one-itis speaking) with me, but I would have liked to hook up with her more and just taken things slow.

    Things seemed to go well the night of, but now it seems like I'm a typical friendzoned kid she has to blow off - I can't get the FZ if I f-closed can I ?!? this girl is a wildcard haha

    PS: she seemed to brush off any references to the fact that we had sex or to the night we got together. I'm a pretty easy going / funny guy so it was easy to work around, but it seems the dynamic of our relationship has changed. Unsure if its temporary or permanent.

    thanks
    My immediate thought was that she may regret sleeping with you for a reason we don't know yet, but then I realized that I wouldn't expect a girl to be open to hanging out with said person for 2 hours the next day. I would expect her to avoid you/make excuses as to why she couldn't talk to you today.

    My best guess would be based off looking at this situation from her perspective. She just slept with you, but your previous relationship was so casual that she HERSELF may be confused as to what the two of you are now. Throw into this the fact that she got too drunk and ended up sleeping with another guy the day after, something she may or may not regret, and she is probably very uncertain as to what the dynamic of your relationship is going to be. And this would account for her being not completely comfortable with you earlier.

    Of course, this could be completely wrong. Any time we try to deduce whats going on in a girl's head, its nothing more than guesswork.

    Honestly, this is one of those situations where I would just sit down with her and talk about directly about the situation. I personally would say something like, "So, we had sex the other night, but today you seemed slightly distant and uncomfortable around me. Not only that, but you went home with that one guy yesterday. So you can see why I'm a bit...confused". And thats it. If said calmly enough, it should come across as non-accusatory, since I doubt an argument is what you're looking for, and gets her talking. You may decide not to say this exactly, but talking directly about the situation to her is probably the fastest and most constructive way to figure out whats going on.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me

    It's typical in this situation that she would be uncomfortable. Dude, she hooked up with you then you saw her the NEXT NIGHT messing around with another guy. She KNOWS that you know. Of course she's going to be uncomfortable. Don't think anything of it. Do what you have been doing and everything will be ok. It sounds like you've played it cool. KEEP DOING THAT.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me

    She sounds like a girl you shouldn't even be getting emotionally attached to.
    I understand she took your v card and that's big for you, but look at it from a bigger picture.

    1.) you're in college, so am I.
    2.) you just lost your v card to this girl. There will be many more.
    3.) you met her at a frat party...enough said.
    4.)you had sex and the NEXT day you caught her with another dude. She's not relationship material, she's a slut. Sluts will always be sluts, period.
    5.) stop being so emotional about her. Pull yourself together, she's not that great.
    6.) she wanted to hook up again the next day when she spent 2 hours with you, but you chickened out. She probably thinks you're a dweeb, & regrets it now.
    7.) you're worried about being friendZoned...wtf, you farked her. Obviously you're more than friends no matter what she says. Once you hook-up with a girl, you'll always be more than friends with her if you were any good whatsoever.
    8.) of course she's going to brush off sexual references. You just hooked up, & she probably feels like a slut about it. No girl actually wants to feel like a slut.
    Don't talk about it, just escalate without talking about what your doing.

    Yeah..don't get caught up on her. She won't date you, & even if she does, why would you want a girl that the whole block has had.
    Play it cool, & be more confident, & you should bag her again probably.

  9. #9
    DPU16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    It's typical in this situation that she would be uncomfortable. Dude, she hooked up with you then you saw her the NEXT NIGHT messing around with another guy. She KNOWS that you know. Of course she's going to be uncomfortable. Don't think anything of it. Do what you have been doing and everything will be ok. It sounds like you've played it cool. KEEP DOING THAT.
    I posted this story on another forum and they said I should try to do the same thing as I did last night (hang out on her bed) except escalate and hook up regardless of what her signs are showing. Since we've already had sex (sober and drunk) I think I can ignore any of those 'signs' and I think it all depends on me.

    Now, does everyone agree I should try again today, or should I give this a day? I am kind of eager to use what I'm learning through these threads and start fucking her consistently... I need some of that in my life.

  10. #10
    DPU16 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Urgent! Responses needed please. HB9 getting stolen from me

    Quote Originally Posted by Carter21 View Post
    My immediate thought was that she may regret sleeping with you for a reason we don't know yet, but then I realized that I wouldn't expect a girl to be open to hanging out with said person for 2 hours the next day. I would expect her to avoid you/make excuses as to why she couldn't talk to you today.

    My best guess would be based off looking at this situation from her perspective. She just slept with you, but your previous relationship was so casual that she HERSELF may be confused as to what the two of you are now. Throw into this the fact that she got too drunk and ended up sleeping with another guy the day after, something she may or may not regret, and she is probably very uncertain as to what the dynamic of your relationship is going to be. And this would account for her being not completely comfortable with you earlier.

    Of course, this could be completely wrong. Any time we try to deduce whats going on in a girl's head, its nothing more than guesswork.

    Honestly, this is one of those situations where I would just sit down with her and talk about directly about the situation. I personally would say something like, "So, we had sex the other night, but today you seemed slightly distant and uncomfortable around me. Not only that, but you went home with that one guy yesterday. So you can see why I'm a bit...confused". And thats it. If said calmly enough, it should come across as non-accusatory, since I doubt an argument is what you're looking for, and gets her talking. You may decide not to say this exactly, but talking directly about the situation to her is probably the fastest and most constructive way to figure out whats going on.
    The thing is, I don't want to move into relationship talk or anything even serious like that. I want to continue to hook up and make her want me more and more, which shouldn't be thaaat hard considering she lives across the hall. I just need to know what moves to make and execute!


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