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Thread: the game for married men

  1. #1
    barfly69 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default the game for married men

    Ok, that's a tricky one.
    I've been married for a few years and I have young kids. My marriage is not in a great state to say the least. It's not that we got to the point that my wife and I can't stand each other, it's just we have too many points of conflict. I still have love and respect towards her, but we lost our "loving feeling"... We hardly have sex anymore.We tried everything - marriage counseling, therapy, books talks.
    Bottom line - I want to have sex with other women, and I want to have it through pickup because of the excitement involved. Going to a "professional lady" is not an option because for me it's like masturbating (I hope I didn't offend anyone by this remark).
    I've been involved to some extent with my local pick community before I met my wife and Irony is that I started getting good at it just shortly before I met her.
    Now it's a completely different ball game. I know that there are some very smart people in the community and I would appreciate any wise advise on where to start from. I prefer a one, two night stand rather than an affair, since I don't want to end my marriage (my wife probably would forgive a one night stand)for various reasons which I rather not elaborate.
    Please, please I only after pickup advise, so don't try to reprimand me. I thought about it through and through and this is the best option for me at the moment. Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone... We all know that a lot of people outside the community are scornful towards pickup.
    I would be extremely grateful on how to play the game as a married man, and again, please don't comment if you just want to preach.

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: the game for married men

    Learn the techniques & use them to re-attract your wife.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    dave_xxx's Avatar
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    Default Re: the game for married men

    T-Mal gave you some awesome advice.

    You can game whoever you want including your wife. Stopping being an AFC and start flirting with her like you did when you picked her up. Learn to push and pull.

    Are you working out? If not you should start to do that. How's your grooming? Do you let stubble grow for a few days? Style your hair and shave. Do you wear shorts and a wife beater around the house? Maybe wear something nicer. This will help if you want to game other females too.

    Every little bit helps. If you improve yourself she will want to improve herself too.

  4. #4
    Suave Kino's Avatar
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    Default Re: the game for married men

    I ignored this post when I saw it, but t- mall and Dave you guys made me proud.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: the game for married men

    If you're looking for sympathy you've come to the wrong place, just want to clear that up first off.

    I would start by taking T-Mal and Daves advice. I would add that perhaps you need to spend less time at home with your wife. Start making it more of a priority to focus on hobbies, hang out with friends etc. Get back to the man you were before you met your wife. Build confidence.. Figure out what went wrong and what it would take to spark your sex life back up with your wife. Sometimes it feels too far gone, a lot of the time it actually isn't at all.

    Cheating on your wife won't make you feel better. People who are scornful towards pickup are scornful because they don't have the slightest idea what "pickup" is really all about. Please don't compare those 2 things.

    You want my honest advice? Be a man. Fix your marriage or get a divorce. Then come back and we can talk about pick up.

    All the best.

  6. #6
    T-Mal's Avatar
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    Default Re: the game for married men

    It's situations like THIS that give everyone the wrong impression.

    Yeah sure, there ARE guys out there who are total players; and don't care about how many people they hurt along the way while they're "racking up numbers"...

    But most guys here just want to understand women better... & have the skill set so that they can attract & get the woman of their dreams when she comes along.

    If you want to "hook up" for an affair, there are websites specifically for that purpose; where men & women alike can cheat on their spouses, or just hook up casually.


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  7. #7
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: the game for married men

    The game is no different for re~attracting your wife and not much different if you have an itch for something on the side.

    If you chase girls outside of a marriage always tell them your married, kids etc. That honesty will serve you well and potentially avoid future drama. You may not get as many girls being married but there are plenty of girls out there that will do it. Maybe they also find it exciting, perhaps they take pity, perhaps they get competitive, maybe they see themselves as being a potential replacement...I dont know but being honest about your position is something you should be doing.

    Don't get caught.

    In regards to your wife, it can be hard to switch on a woman who is a mother and has such a tiring task. You simply have to put in some effort to open her back up to what she used yo be like.

  8. #8
    barfly69 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: the game for married men

    Hi guys,

    Thank you for your honest replies. Your heart is in the right place.
    If it hadn't been for the kids we probably wouldn't be together right now. Getting a divorce is not always the best solution. I still care a lot about my wife and I know that it'll be harder for her alone with 3 kids. Trust me, I'm not one of the husbands that spend most his time drinking beers and asking his wife 'where's my dinner'. Far from that.
    I realize that having extra marital sex is against your set of beliefs and I respect that.
    I think that in some situations it is the best way to go for everybody's sake, but I understand that in a community that still encounters heavy criticism it is not something you want to encourage.
    You gave me some food for thought and I appreciate it.

    And twentynine, one day you will learn that life is not black and white. Maybe try to read the game. Strauss is very open minded and tries to be very non-judgmental.

    good luck to everyone.

  9. #9
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
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    Default Re: the game for married men

    As a older guy, I understand the complications of your situation. I do agree with you that the world is not black and white, but I also believe that the world is what you make it.

    Also I like to add that Neil Strauss's "The Game" is not the bible of PUA. He and Mystery were two guys who were regarded as a "category creators" who first marketed their school of PUA as Gracie did for the UFC and MMA. Those are just one man's thoughts. Seduction has evolved a lot since with various schools.

    I have a friend who is technically still married, have 4 daughters, his wife drives him up the wall with her mental imbalances. The marriage is pretty much game over. He doesn't live with them anymore but still cares. Divorce will be extremely costly due to properties, taxes, etc. so they never got one. The term I believed used is "legally separated." They both accepted that their marriage is over and they are both free to do as they please.

    If you, in your heart of hearts, know that it's game over, despite marriage counseling, and you no longer have the desire to rekindle things, you and your wife need to come to a similar mutual agreement to be legally separated. If not, that's where your moral compass starts going awry.

    I would also like to point out picking up girls while you are married also has its own can of worms. What if you end up "falling" for one of them? What if the feeling is mutual? Can you tell her the truth? If so, how will she feel about it? Cuz this happened to a friend of mine, a Japanese girl who fell for a producer. Despite him telling her the truth, she just wasn't comfortable and all this drama came out of it. It goes against the motto of the community "Always leave a girl better than you found her."

    I know you are only looking for one-night stands, but hey not everything is black and white, right? PUA is more than picking up women for ONS. It's a life-long craft of self development and self awareness. It's a search. People who are invested in the art and are successful are people are who are as serious as a bodybuilder hitting the gym daily.

  10. #10
    SolidT is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: the game for married men

    Wow its like i wanna have a married woman for myself in the sex department and this guy wants out!?.open up your marriage.be honest about it.like Rocnation will say move things forward!!


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