Top 10 Stats
Latest Posts Loading... Loading...
Loading...
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Loading...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 31
Like Tree17Likes

Thread: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

  1. #11
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 314, Level: 6
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 35.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    131
    Points
    314
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default Re: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

    Oh man, she's moving out to a new apartment (because her bf is leaving the country and she doesn't need a big place now) and she asked me to help with ikea shopping and mounting the new furniture.

    This is typical friendzone stuff: the guy gives it all and the gal gives nothing in return. Good thing I am more aware of these things now.

    She's putting a lot of pressure on me and tries to make me feel guilty for not helping. I have resisted so far... How do I make her understand I am not her slave?

  2. #12
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 15,299, Level: 79
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,032
    Points
    15,299
    Level
    79
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    675

    Default Re: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

    Quote Originally Posted by pepito View Post
    Oh man, she's moving out to a new apartment (because her bf is leaving the country and she doesn't need a big place now) and she asked me to help with ikea shopping and mounting the new furniture.

    This is typical friendzone stuff: the guy gives it all and the gal gives nothing in return. Good thing I am more aware of these things now.

    She's putting a lot of pressure on me and tries to make me feel guilty for not helping. I have resisted so far... How do I make her understand I am not her slave?
    Tell her you are not her slave. She is using you. Being a rebound is ok cuz you can get laid but don't be a removalist.

  3. #13
    Kyl3's Avatar
    Kyl3 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 2,765, Level: 32
    Level completed: 10%, Points required for next Level: 135
    Overall activity: 34.0%
    Achievements:
    1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    280
    Points
    2,765
    Level
    32
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 4 Posts
    Rep Power
    129

    Default Re: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

    wtf, she wants you to help her move her shit? Tell her NO.
    Unless by help she means, "help me move this shit out, so we can have sex right after your done" Which you should still say, NO to.

    Don't EVER let girls make you do shit for them, in the HOPES that MAYBE you'll get a hookup. That's manipulative and her using you, which you should never put up with.

    Say this, "I'm not trying to sound mean, but, no I don't want to help you move your shit, I have better things to do and I'm extremely busy. Have one of your friends help you."

    Being a rebound is okay, but only if YOU are okay with that.

    Listen man, don't ever let yourself be in the friendzone with somebody unless you WANT to be there. It's not worth it. You should never end up in the friend zone anyways, unless like I stated, you wanted to be there in the first place. That means you're either..

    A.) Scared to kino her. Kino-ing girls and escalating kino even in a friendly way, 90% of the time ends in you scoring her, and is a SURE-FIRE way to avoid friend zone indirectly.
    B.) You're just a pu55y in general. Enough said there.
    C.) You're not attractive. Obviously if you're 5 ft 3 102lbs, with huge ass gauges in your ears, and tattoos on your face, she's probably not going to find you attractive.

    If you want tips to get out of the friend zone, or avoid it, let me know but I'll stop there, that's a much broader topic.

    I really need to write master threads on them to help everybody out, but I just don't have the time.

    Anyways, peace, -Kyle.

  4. #14
    Vicodin24's Avatar
    Vicodin24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 2,424, Level: 29
    Level completed: 83%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    279
    Points
    2,424
    Level
    29
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    112

    Default Re: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kyl3 View Post
    C.) You're not attractive. Obviously if you're 5 ft 3 102lbs, with huge ass gauges in your ears, and tattoos on your face, she's probably not going to find you attractive.
    I can't stop laughing because I know a guy who fits that description perfectly hahahahaha

    Anyway, Pepito, I'm in a similar situation, but we already hooked up, so best I can do is tell you how I approached the situation (with help from this forum, of course) and how I'm moving forward with it.

    Be Sexual. Not grotesque, but talk about sex often. Women love talking about it because it gets things flowing. Always.

    Be Touchy. Get her accustomed to your touch. If you're nervous about touching her, the playful poke or tickle around the ribs works. High five her, hug her, pinch her cheeks, etc. Once you get comfortable with that, touch her thighs, knees, etc. Rest your hand there once in a while. you get the point here.

    Do Not Be Her Slave. Say What You Want To Say. If she asks for a favor, do it. But not the one you just mentioned. Who the hell does she think you are? Her personal errand boy? If she tells you to jump, are you gonna ask her how high? NO. If she calls you to complain about something, tell her she has her girlfriends for that. If she asks you to help her move, say you're busy. Don't be a d1ck about any of this, though. Make it look like you want to help, but don't actually do it.

    She's a big girl, she can figure out her own problems. You're not looking to raise a child. Sure everyone needs help once in a while, but don't let her take advantage of your willingness nor availability. Make her understand that you're a LUXURY in her life and she's lucky to have you around.

    TLDR - Touch her. Be sexual. Don't be too available. Make her miss you. Put yourself first.

    There's a lot more I can say on the subject, but if you read through the "getting out of the friendzone" posts, you'll have a much better understanding what to do and not to do.
    Always leave her better than you found her.

  5. #15
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,582, Level: 56
    Level completed: 16%, Points required for next Level: 168
    Overall activity: 55.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered5000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Cali
    Posts
    450
    Points
    6,582
    Level
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    293

    Default Re: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

    So the girl with more red flags than the Indy 500 is manipulating you. No surprises there!

    Remember what I said about women like this with low self-esteem being a drain? Guess what? You are about to get Liquid Plummer.

    I would react by saying "Oh sorry hun, but the only moving I ever do for a girl is clearing the table so we can get our freak on."

    Don't be a pussy.
    Don't be afraid of losing her.

    I would've axed this flag girl long time ago.

  6. #16
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 314, Level: 6
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 35.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    131
    Points
    314
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default Re: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

    Yeah guys, you are definitely right. I must not give in.

    For those who did not (understandably) read my first very long post, I am not attracted to this chick. I have just been pleasantly surprised that there's chemistry between us (we really think alike). I noticed some IOIs coming from and thought that things could perhaps work between us.

    She can be a good friend at times but she's a bitch when it's about dating. I remember how she was bragging about how she could manipulate her bf (or any guy) to do anything she liked.

    I never tried to hit on her and will certainly not as long as we are working in the same team. Her office is just next to mine. Too dangerous if things turn sour.

    I have been thinking a bit more about this and, despite the IOIs, there are other stronger signs that prove that she only sees me as a friend.
    She always knows when I have dates and she actually encourages me every time. Heck, she even provides advice for everything. I don't recall her ever being jealous or trying to qualify in order to draw my attention.
    This makes me think that she sees me as a friend more than a prospective bf.

    So yes, I will avoid picking the phone during the week-ends and try to put some distance between us. It's not good having her too close. She's like a leech.

  7. #17
    Vicodin24's Avatar
    Vicodin24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 2,424, Level: 29
    Level completed: 83%, Points required for next Level: 26
    Overall activity: 0%
    Achievements:
    Social1000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    279
    Points
    2,424
    Level
    29
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    112

    Default Re: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

    Quote Originally Posted by pepito View Post
    She's like a leech.
    You have your reasons to feel this way; congratulations! You solved your own problem! Avoid gaming girls like this in the future - ignore their IOI's, etc. Friend zone them
    Always leave her better than you found her.

  8. #18
    whitedragon is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 15,299, Level: 79
    Level completed: 90%, Points required for next Level: 51
    Overall activity: 99.0%
    Achievements:
    Social10000 Experience Points31 days registered
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    1,032
    Points
    15,299
    Level
    79
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    675

    Default Re: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

    You don't have to avoid picking up the phone, just her manipulation of you to do chores or being a therapy couch. If you don't like her why bother. If you secretly do want her, then use this situation to your advantage.

  9. #19
    I.M.Mortal's Avatar
    I.M.Mortal is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 6,582, Level: 56
    Level completed: 16%, Points required for next Level: 168
    Overall activity: 55.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered5000 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Cali
    Posts
    450
    Points
    6,582
    Level
    56
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    293

    Default Re: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

    If you are not attracted to her, then the same principles of guy friends apply. If she was a dude who was a leech and always dumps negativity on you, would you want to hang with him?

    I personally surround myself by people who are successful and positive.

    "Birds of a feather flock together."

  10. #20
    pepito is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
    Points: 314, Level: 6
    Level completed: 28%, Points required for next Level: 36
    Overall activity: 35.0%
    Achievements:
    7 days registered250 Experience Points
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    131
    Points
    314
    Level
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Rep Power
    22

    Default Re: She is confusing me... where do I stand?

    Ok, some updates because I find her case funny

    1) A dude who fancies her has resurfaced after a long period of no communication.
    She met that guy last year when she realised things were not working out with her bf. She went on 2 dates with the guy (seems like he tried to kiss her on multiple occasions, but she always managed to avoid it) and she then cut off all contact because she thought the whole thing was messed up. She did like him though.
    So, after one year of no-contact, they met again in the street last week and he offered her a lift to her workplace. She's been acting all funny thinking whether things can work between them.
    The annoying part is that she wants me to join her at her next date with this guy. I told her to sod off. Who does she think I am? I don't intend to hold the candle while those two make out, lol
    There have been some other developments in her life, so she temporarily forgot about him, but I am sure I will hear more of him (he works nearby so they will eventually run into each other again).

    2) Her current bf is actually moving back to his home country at the end of this week. This means they will break up. She has been crying non-stop ever since she realised that they will never see each other again.
    I really cannot understand how her mind works. After all the venom she spat behind his back, she now acts all lovey-dovey. How many times did she say she wants to dump him, that she was impatient for him to leave, that she could not tolerate him anymore? I still remember how she obstinately refused to present him to her parents (he did present her to his own) or to show him her home country with the excuse that their relationship was something "not permanent" (even though they had been living together for 3 years).
    She claims she could have broken up anytime since last year but didn't do it because she pitied him for being unemployed and at a difficult period of his life. I don't know what to think of this? Genuine thought or bullshit?

    It's not so much about me anymore, but I am trying to understand how women think/react. This one's behavior is completely erratic and I get confirmation every day that she is not gf material.
    Funny thing is that she seems genuinely upset that they are breaking up. I am curious to see how long till she finds another sucker. Me, I am out. I have seen enough.


Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Where Do I Stand With Her?
    By SoulMan13 in forum General Questions
    Replies: 0
    Last Thread: 10-09-2013, 06:30 PM
  2. At a stand still
    By mike.wow89 in forum Approaching, Running Sets & Building Attraction
    Replies: 8
    Last Thread: 09-09-2013, 12:31 AM
  3. Where do I stand?
    By MattyP in forum Help Getting A Girlfriend
    Replies: 11
    Last Thread: 10-07-2011, 05:38 PM
  4. Not really sure where I stand with someone
    By Mel0 in forum Help Getting A Girlfriend
    Replies: 2
    Last Thread: 12-21-2010, 10:34 AM
  5. Need to stand out
    By TheGodWhoComes in forum Online And Text Game
    Replies: 6
    Last Thread: 01-19-2010, 05:54 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
DMCA.com