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  • 1 Post By karl123
  • 1 Post By DirectIsBest

Thread: Being friends with benefits

  1. #1
    karl123 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Being friends with benefits

    Hi,

    I would like to know when you have to tell the target that you're not interested for a relationship. I read on a forum that you should always tell the girl before you have sex with her. At which stage the subject should be brought up attracting, comfort or seducing? How do you guys bring the subject?

    Thanks
    Karl

  2. #2
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    DirectIsBest is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Being friends with benefits

    After you bang her for the first time tell her you're not looking for a relationship. That's it. Tell her you're going to be seeing other women. Be prepared for drama from her when she ACTUALLY finds out you ARE seeing other women. Women are great at lying to themselves and almost every FWB I've had, even though I was extremely honest with them, has turned into them hating my guts because they didn't "listen" to what I told them.

    The thing with women is this: They are OK with FWB at first, but then after you hook up with them allot and they have many orgasms they fall in love. They can't separate the two. I have had 5 long lasting FWB over the last seven years and I'm only cool with one of those girls to this day. I was COMPLETELY honest with ALL of them the whole time. Be aware of that.

  3. #3
    Tony_Stark is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Being friends with benefits

    Hey DirectisBest, can you elaborate a little further on when to tell them. Typically when do you tell them, the actual night you have sex the first time, next day, next week? Does the method matter? In person, phone, text?
    It's not lying, it's flirting
    -The Game

  4. #4
    DirectIsBest's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being friends with benefits

    Always do it in person. I usually do it the next morning, unless she mentions something that night. I usually say something along the lines of "I think you are really cool but I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm going to be seeing other women, so you should see other guys". Don't do it jokingly either. Be serious and look them directly in the eye. If you keep hooking up with her and she starts to mention you as her BF make sure you get after that right away! Say "I'm not your boyfriend". It's really that simple.

    Sometimes if you feel she is a really clingy LTR type you should tell her BEFORE you sleep with her. I did this recently and you can read about it in the thread "Lets talk about honesty". Doing that saved me allot of trouble, but most women don't care if you sleep with them once, because sex isn't a big deal.

    In my experience, If I only sleep with a woman a couple times everything is fine. All the FWB I mentioned in this post, I slept with over 7 times. There's a threshold there when they get attached. That's been my experience.

  5. #5
    r0cky is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Being friends with benefits

    Quote Originally Posted by DirectIsBest View Post
    Always do it in person. I usually do it the next morning, unless she mentions something that night. I usually say something along the lines of "I think you are really cool but I'm not looking for a relationship. I'm going to be seeing other women, so you should see other guys". Don't do it jokingly either. Be serious and look them directly in the eye. If you keep hooking up with her and she starts to mention you as her BF make sure you get after that right away! Say "I'm not your boyfriend". It's really that simple.

    Sometimes if you feel she is a really clingy LTR type you should tell her BEFORE you sleep with her. I did this recently and you can read about it in the thread "Lets talk about honesty". Doing that saved me allot of trouble, but most women don't care if you sleep with them once, because sex isn't a big deal.

    In my experience, If I only sleep with a woman a couple times everything is fine. All the FWB I mentioned in this post, I slept with over 7 times. There's a threshold there when they get attached. That's been my experience.
    This. Although I wait until the 2nd or 3rd time to tell them just to save some breath.


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