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  • 1 Post By Iamtheflow

Thread: Need help building confidence

  1. #1
    DonJuanabee is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Need help building confidence

    So I realised my self confidence is shit. But what is strange is there is NO REASON for me to have low self confidence I just do. But after realizing this I noticed how much it was truly effecting my life... Here's a list of things I do for no reason at all:

    -Cannot hold eye contact with anyone including males. (people notice)
    -If I haven't talked to a girl in over 2 weeks I begin avoiding conversation with them and if for reason we do wind up talking I am very uncomfortable and awkward
    -I assume any female who shows any sign of disinterest in me I automatically assume they dislike me, which is especially awkward if they don't.
    -I have never directly approached a girl I didn't know who I considered more attractive than me.
    -I also have never attempted to pick up a girl more attractive than me even if we are familiar.
    -Extremely uncomfortable asking people for their number especially girls
    -No clue how to start flirting and fear if I tried I would get shut down
    -Scared of attempting kino
    -I respond too fast to texts, send alot of texts that are very long.
    -No idea what to talk about with girls I'm trying to pick up.
    -Difficulty closing with girls and very hesitant with going in for k-close.
    -Incredibly awkward around women



    So basically I think I view attractive women as better than me and it effects everything to do with pick up. As well as me still being in highschool I worry girls will gossip about me trying to hit on them and what not. But it doesn't just stop their it leaks into every aspect of my life and is ruining it. There are definitely a lot of other factors I don't even realize too.

    SO PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME I NEED TO SOMEHOW FIND A WAY TO BUILD SOME SELF CONFIDENCE AND LEARN HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN! Otherwise I don't know what I am going to do... Please Help.

  2. #2
    SCooper2031 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Need help building confidence

    Few exercises you can do.

    1) Every person you get eye contact with hold it for 5 seconds and smile, even if they look keep looking at them.
    2) Body language is key. Your mind affects your brain, but your brain also gets affected by your body. Start noticing your posture. If your chin is low and shoulders are hunched, raise your chin, put your shoulders back, relax, lean back when you sit, etc.
    3)Walk up to 10 people a day look them in the eye, say hi with smile, and walk away. Again, keep aware of your body language
    4)Go out and approach girls and fuck around a little, Literally don't care what happens. Basically go in to get rejected. As you get rejected, you'll care less and less about getting rejected and the outcome of the interaction.
    5) Try no fap challenge. It's pretty proven that this helps confidence as well.

    These are just a few things you can do. You need to learn to get out of your head and into your body. Lack of confidence comes from your head, and you can't solve the problem where it was created. As you get into your body, it will control your mind and emotions and make you feel better. You can also try going to the gym too if you don't already go

  3. #3
    Iamtheflow is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Need help building confidence

    Buckle up boys, this is going to a big one!

    -Cannot hold eye contact with anyone including males. (people notice)

    This is just something you have to improve on over time.Challenge yourself to keep eye contact with someone until they look away. It might be weird but it's what works

    -If I haven't talked to a girl in over 2 weeks I begin avoiding conversation with them and if for reason we do wind up talking I am very uncomfortable and awkward

    Drop hooks. Touch base with friends when you haven't talked to them in a while or just keep in touch regularly. Show a moderate level of interest. However, if they aren't returning the same level of interest you're giving them then cut back(maybe entirely) on texting/fbing that person.

    -I assume any female who shows any sign of disinterest in me I automatically assume they dislike me, which is especially awkward if they don't.

    Get over it. When a girl tells me she has a boyfriend, I simply say, "I have a goldfish.. Oh sorry, I just thought we were talking about things we left at home." Disinterest is just one of those things you need power through with. Keep working on it and the only direction you can go is forward.

    -I have never directly approached a girl I didn't know who I considered more attractive than me.

    How attractive are you? Does this mean you can directly approach girls who are less attractive than you with ease? Girls are girls. No matter how attractive a woman is, they are all the same. They might act differently, but that doesn't mean you have to act differently around them.

    -I also have never attempted to pick up a girl more attractive than me even if we are familiar.

    Like I said: women are women.

    -Extremely uncomfortable asking people for their number especially girls

    So I'm assuming that if you're at the stage of asking for their number then you're fine with approaching, comforting, transitioning, and kino? Asking for their number is easy. Tell them that they seem like a really cool person and you'd like to grab a drink or coffee with them.

    -No clue how to start flirting and fear if I tried I would get shut down

    Flirting is very situation-dependant. Approaching a girl who is walking down the street to her job is going to be so much different than approaching a girl who is sitting down drinking a coffee. Flirting is really just being in the moment, funny and sometimes completely random. Girls like spontaneity and nothing is worse than having a boring, interrogation style conversation the first time you meet someone. Talk about her, compliment her, talk about something really interesting that you're about to do. Also, day game flirting and night game flirting are two totally different worlds. Tread lightly, because if you mix them up you could come off as a huge creep or a complete friend.

    Call them hired guns, but today at Starbucks I had all three baristas, one who just got off work, stupidly interested in me. How? By asking if the other two had the same name as the first barista, Brittany. The third girl ordered the same drink as me and I told her that we're pretty much best friends because of it and gave her a big hug and twirled her around. Needless to say everyone in the line, guys included, had their jaws on the floor.

    -Scared of attempting Kino

    Be the guy who is always touchy. Not in a creepy way but in whatever way seems fit. Try starting out by giving high fives to people(when you're out on the town of course). This will really get you started into kino. Your next step might be to go for a high five and then twirl her and end up with her arm around your shoulder. It takes practice but it is so much fun.

    -I respond too fast to texts, send alot of texts that are very long.

    People emphasize so much on waiting a while before replying to a text, but in my opinion reply whenever you want. I personally find it irritating when someone doesn't get back to right away, especially if it's an important message. Try not to respond instantly though wait a minute or two. Make sure the frequency and length of your texts are about the same as hers.

    -No idea what to talk about with girls I'm trying to pick up.

    Flirt. Flirt. Flirt. Just find something to talk about. Too often guys will act like the set they are in is the last set they will ever have, try way too hard, and then be completely bummed when they get blown out. Just be in the moment. Be natural and be the coolest mofo in the room. If it doesn't work out then move on and find someone else.

    -Difficulty closing with girls and very hesitant with going in for k-close.

    Closing, in what respect? A kiss close is actually terrifying for some people and I actually still get the butterfly in the stomach feeling from time to time. If you're physically hesitant about kissing her then she will notice this above all other things. If you have the intention of kissing her then make sure there is enough comfort and attraction and DO NOT STALL. If you can tell she wants the kiss then simply ask her if she wants to: "Do you want to kiss me?" "Maybe.." "Well let's find out".

    -Incredibly awkward around women

    This is a huge part of inner game and some body language, I assume. It's something that can only come with time. Just super cool around women, be genuine and be polite. Above all, speak with strength and make sure there is always eye contact.

    Aaaaaand that's all folks. I hope that answered your questions/problems. Message me if you want to talk about anything more. I'm looking forward to having my 6 hours of Guinness induced sleep now.
    "You know what my dream for this summer is? To have all the girls that you and I have farked this summer out on the SS Vagina."
    "That is the dream. It'll be one big mess of bad decisions and failed relationships."
    "We're the guys you don't introduce your parents to."


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