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  1. #1
    Ecko30's Avatar
    Ecko30 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Bad Boy that likes being in relationships?

    Hey guys I have a simple question that needs to get answered. I think Ive always been a "bad boy" but Ive been reading up on inner game lately, and altho I love my tattoos, my bad ass clothes and sh*t I cant deny that I would rather be in a relationship long-term then bangin random hoes...as some of u may know, Ive been with many...many random girls..my attitude and my lifestyle arent in question whether or not im a "bad boy" or not...Im pretty sure I fall into that category....but what i'm asking is this:

    Am I really a "bad boy" if deep down I still would rather be in a relationship? Can "Bad boys" prefer to be in relationships?

    If so, then how can connect our desire to "care" for someone and still have the I dont give a f*ck attitude which defines "bad boys"?

    Im alittle confused with who I am...my lifestyle, friends, dress everything shows I prefer fast and easy life...but I get damn lonely and would rather be comitted to a girl.

    any help?
    "I came, I saw, I conquered"- Julius Ceasar

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Bad Boy that likes being in relationships?

    I consider myself a "badass"...
    Meaning, I have my inner bad-boy, yet I'm also a true gentleman.

    I know when to turn on the bad-boy vibe & be playful sensual & sexual... but I also know when it's more appropriate to express kindness & chivalry.

    And I've always preferred to have a solid relationship, rather than having to deal with new personalities all the time.

    Women want a man to be HER bad-boy in the bedroom, and to have a magnetic, classy personality in public.
    But she still wants him to have a backbone & be in charge... and have his own opinions... and not be a pushover.

    Basically, you want to graduate from "bad-boy" to "BadAss".




    .


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    Ecko30's Avatar
    Ecko30 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bad Boy that likes being in relationships?

    alright cool,

    anybody else with any more insight or experience?
    "I came, I saw, I conquered"- Julius Ceasar

  4. #4
    Ecko30's Avatar
    Ecko30 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Bad Boy that likes being in relationships?

    Cmon guys, help me out...I know theres some guys on here that can answer this
    "I came, I saw, I conquered"- Julius Ceasar

  5. #5
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bad Boy that likes being in relationships?

    You're letting the term "bad boy" define who you are, when you should let who you want to be determine who you are. If you want to be in a relationship, all the more power to you. I don't see what the problem is?
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  6. #6
    Ecko30's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bad Boy that likes being in relationships?

    Duke, its a matter of inner game.

    if Neil Strauss just did what he wanted, hed still be apathetic loser who couldnt get laid. "bad Boy" defines me because thats the "better" me...the "perfected" me...does some parts feel fake, ya, but our whole life is fake until we make. "bad boys" are a personality that gets women and if I wanna improve, then I'll sharpen the style that most refelcts me.
    "I came, I saw, I conquered"- Julius Ceasar

  7. #7
    TheDuke's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bad Boy that likes being in relationships?

    You're missing the point. You've created a static version of the term "Bad Boy," and you're refusing to change it. The best puas I have seen are those who take a dynamic approach to this whole thing.

    You define "Bad Boy" as some who has an "I don't give a fuck attitude." But if you're being critical, you should ask yourself a couple questions. First, where does this definition you're using come from? Second, why is it that you want to aspire to this definition in the first place?

    I can't answer the former question, but I think I can help you with the latter. I assume that you want to be a "bad boy" because you believe that it will help you pick up women and it will help you be an alpha male. How does this definition of "bad boy" help you accomplish these things?

    The attractive quality in bad boys is the fact that they do not become attached. Attachment is something that occurs when a person's sense of being becomes dependent upon an outside influence (i.e., outside of their own person). In turn, this leads to neediness, the bane of every man's existence.

    By "not giving a fuck" you exude these attractive qualities because the very definition encapsulate becoming unattached. But you also exude some very negative characteristics, such as lacking empathy and an inability to connect with people emotionally. In other words, you would likely fall under the DSM V's definition of psychopath.

    So the question you have to naturally ask yourself is whether or not you can have the positives without the negatives. The answer is undoubtedly yes. Caring for someone and loving someone is not the same as becoming attached to them. Buddhists have been preaching this kind of thing forever. The ultimate badass cares about the people around him, but those people don't define who he is or his self-worth.

    This is why I'm saying you are too stuck in this definition of "Bad Boy." When we create artificial barriers to our development, like you have here, we stunt our ability to grow and learn. Here, you are telling me that being in a relationship gives you joy, and in the same breath you say that you're refusing to do it because of some artificial barrier you've erected. Allow yourself to grow and develop as a person. Stop painting yourself into fake boxes.
    "It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything."

  8. #8
    Iamtheflow is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Bad Boy that likes being in relationships?

    If Neil Strauss did what he wanted then he'd probably still be doing something similar to what he does today. If he stayed on the same path he was on then he would have stayed a pathetic loser who couldn't get laid. When I go out it's because I want to go and meet women and become a better person overall. Not because I have someone forcing me to do it.

    So if the "bad boy" type defines who you are because it's the better, perfected you and some of it still feels fake, then I hate to break it to you, but that isn't the better, perfected you. That's something which you are not.

    I started off by reading and learning canned material and boy did I feel like an idiot with that stuff coming out of my mouth. Sitting on the computer reading openers and new material just got exhausting. I stuck with natural game. It's who I am. I talk to people and I say what I want to say to them.

    Who cares if you're a bad boy and want to be in a relationship? Right now I'm completely against being in a relationship but that doesn't mean some girl might come along and I might fall in love with her. Let's hope not though :P
    "You know what my dream for this summer is? To have all the girls that you and I have farked this summer out on the SS Vagina."
    "That is the dream. It'll be one big mess of bad decisions and failed relationships."
    "We're the guys you don't introduce your parents to."


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