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Thread: Is there a time frame to wait after chick breaks up with BF?

  1. #11
    SCooper2031 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Is there a "time frame" to wait after chick breaks up with BF?

    Quote Originally Posted by ctc0201 View Post
    I figure Ill just put the message and see what you all think. I mean, I don't think there is much to interpret, but I want to see if I was correct or not.....

    Her:
    When's the date? Me and my boyfriend broke up haha but I have a hard time getting off work but yes I will come! My number is (Insert number here) I'm in the Bahamas so I don't have service/wifi but I leave tomorrow!
    .... I have half a mind to come over and smack you lol. Her calling it a date and saying she is available is a giant neon saying "I want the D" Secondly, she gives you her number and tells you when you can get in touch with. Again, another giant neon sign!

    Put it this way, if she isn't interested, I'll eat a giant pile of shit on toast

  2. #12
    ctc0201 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is there a "time frame" to wait after chick breaks up with BF?

    Quote Originally Posted by SCooper2031 View Post
    .... I have half a mind to come over and smack you lol. Her calling it a date and saying she is available is a giant neon saying "I want the D" Secondly, she gives you her number and tells you when you can get in touch with. Again, another giant neon sign!

    Put it this way, if she isn't interested, I'll eat a giant pile of shit on toast
    Haha should have specified the first part . The "date" is for when the formal event is. It's not an actual "date". Anyways, I'm glad that I saw it that way too with regards to gauging interest. I'm going to text her tomorrow. Hopefully it goes well!

    How should I work around the "I have a hard time getting off of work" thing, if it comes up?

  3. #13
    LockDown's Avatar
    LockDown is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Is there a time frame to wait after chick breaks up with BF?

    Totally should have replied,"when's the date? Whoa whoa hold on... This isn't a date. I barely know you! I am not that easy lol!"

    Use lol with caution though. Shouldn't be using them often. Smileys as well.

    And dont worry about being creepy. You dint see her everyday so any creepiness will pass by the time you see her in person. Just don't act creepy in person and you will be fine.

    Oh and please don't think too much. Paralysis of analysis and all.
    Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
    Oscar Wilde


  4. #14
    ctc0201 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is there a time frame to wait after chick breaks up with BF?

    Ok, so an update on this.....

    I finally got the dates for the event and told her, and sadly, I got this message this morning....

    "Oh nooo that's my best friends 21st birthday she would kill me if I wasn't there I'm so so sorry"

    So how should I respond to this? I don't want to look like an AFC and sound totally nice and understanding. Do I make her feel a bit guilty? I know I should probably frame it and see if I can turn it into another meeting, but I don't know how. Thanks.

  5. #15
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Is there a time frame to wait after chick breaks up with BF?

    Ok, so an update on this.....

    I finally got the dates for the event and told her, and sadly, I got this message this morning....

    "Oh nooo that's my best friends 21st birthday she would kill me if I wasn't there I'm so so sorry"

    So how should I respond to this? I don't want to look like an AFC and sound totally nice and understanding. Do I make her feel a bit guilty? I know I should probably frame it and see if I can turn it into another meeting, but I don't know how. Thanks.
    stay non-reactive.
    my go to phrase when girls flake on me is a very simple reply.
    "cool"
    or
    "it's cool" (if she has a good excuse like your case)

    no need to get upset about something that's out of your control.

    btw, about the title "how long to wait after her breakup"
    the time to game is always now. opportunities never last very long.
    from what I've seen, most girls who are at least ok looking will have a new guy within a week or two of their last breakup. (especially if the girl is the one who broke up with the guy)

  6. #16
    ctc0201 is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default Re: Is there a time frame to wait after chick breaks up with BF?

    Quote Originally Posted by meteora View Post
    stay non-reactive.
    my go to phrase when girls flake on me is a very simple reply.
    "cool"
    or
    "it's cool" (if she has a good excuse like your case)

    no need to get upset about something that's out of your control.

    btw, about the title "how long to wait after her breakup"
    the time to game is always now. opportunities never last very long.
    from what I've seen, most girls who are at least ok looking will have a new guy within a week or two of their last breakup. (especially if the girl is the one who broke up with the guy)
    Fair enough. That seems like the safe play.

    I guess I'm just afraid of being a pain in the ass now texting her. Which is part of my AFC problem. I'm very uncomfortable with rejection. It's frustrating.

    As in I'm not sure if she just wanted to go to the event, or if she actually has interest in me.

  7. #17
    meteora's Avatar
    meteora is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Is there a time frame to wait after chick breaks up with BF?

    As in I'm not sure if she just wanted to go to the event, or if she actually has interest in me.
    if she really wanted to go to the event, she wouldn't have flaked.

    odds are, she's interested in you, but doesn't trust you enough to go just anywhere with you.

    always assume she's really into you. even if she isn't as interested as you would like her to be.by presupposing her interest, you will give off a good confident vibe, witch will thus cause her to be more interested. (complicated nlp stuff summed up in a few sentences)

    build more comfort, and then arrange another meet up.

    btw, my rule when it comes to flakes is "3 strikes and their out"
    that is, if a girl flakes on me 3 times in a row (or even 5 times in a month) she's being a complete waste of my valuable time.

    I don't get mad when girls flake, if anything it motivates me to approach/pursue more girls.


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