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Thread: Why do different methods work although they may contradict with each other

  1. #11
    Essential17 is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Why do different methods work although they may contradict with each ot

    Like all the guys above touched on, the methods and techniques are irrelevant. At the end of the day, it all comes down to the right attitude.

    The more we interact with women (and this can be anyone from friends, to colleagues, to a sister, but it also can apply to male friends too) you can notice the times you're making them smile and laugh by teasing or being on an equal rapport level. And you'll find you'll do it unconsciously because there is no level of attraction there and that is pure gold.

    As we become more aware of ourselves when we're doing this, we can try and make a conscious shift to use that same attitude to when we're interacting with girls we're attracted to, and you'll get better at it over time.

    Ultimately, the methods are just extensions and effects of having the right attitude. Learning them won't help you to get a girl, but they might just help to explain the bigger picture.

  2. #12
    Jack100 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Why do different methods work although they may contradict with each ot

    Every book mentions confidence, and I have seen many definitions of confidence, but I have not found a be-all and end-all definition of it. What is the best definition of confidence?

  3. #13
    Jack100 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Why do different methods work although they may contradict with each ot

    One problem I found is that some dating coaches may share some very good techniques or very good openers, however, when people use that technique or opener, they can't be congruent, they are worrying"Is this going to work? What if the girls ignore me or act indifferent or act disinterested, rude, or even ask me to go away. Other people are watching me,they are watching me pick up a girl. They will find that I lose face in front of girls. I will be made a fool of. It is so awful, I feel so anxious." Therefore, they feel self-conscious, the technique or opener may seem very unnatural and make girls feel uncomfortable. It acts like a self-fulfilling prophecy.

  4. #14
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    Default Re: Why do different methods work although they may contradict with each ot

    Quote Originally Posted by Jack100 View Post
    One problem I found is that some dating coaches may share some very good techniques or very good openers, however, when people use that technique or opener, they can't be congruent, they are worrying"Is this going to work? What if the girls ignore me or act indifferent or act disinterested, rude, or even ask me to go away. Other people are watching me,they are watching me pick up a girl. They will find that I lose face in front of girls. I will be made a fool of. It is so awful, I feel so anxious." Therefore, they feel self-conscious, the technique or opener may seem very unnatural and make girls feel uncomfortable. It acts like a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    The methods exist in part because they give a confidence boost through presenting an example that has known to have good success. Anyone who quips one-liners is obviously going to fail. But once you're able to look deeper at what the methods are trying to accomplish, you can act more natural and create your own approaches depending on the circumstances.

    Confidence is having an assurance and trust in your own ability. There is no quick way to gain confidence, it's something that you build over time by pushing yourself a little every day.
    It's time to drop use of the archaic 'HB' grading slang.
    A modern, more descriptive, and complimentary system: A girl is...
    Below your league / In your league / Above your league

  5. #15
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    Default Re: Why do different methods work although they may contradict with each ot

    How do you get the girl to do most of the talking? By asking open-ended questions?
    simple, by taking a genuine interest in them and what they have to say.

    I have not found a be-all and end-all definition of it. What is the best definition of confidence?
    confidence is all about knowing who you are and genuinely expressing yourself.
    its about not hiding how you feel inside. its about being courageous when faced with problems. its about not being attached to the outcome.

    don't expect yourself to become super confident over night, self discovery is a lifelong process. understanding the game will give you some confidence, but understanding yourself will give you the power of self confidence.


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