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  • 1 Post By T-Mal

Thread: Am I being a beta male

  1. #1
    aussiearef is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Am I being a beta male

    Hi guys,

    I've been dated a girl in the past 6 months and ever since I started seeing her I've been in a strange dilemma . The problem is that she is the kindest, most caring, most honest and coolest girl I have ever met in my whole life. She constantly makes me happy and looks after me by all means. This makes me love her so much. However, she is a bit over weight and unfortunately she does not look after herself. For me being fit and looking good is important because I am a man after all! I want to show her to my friends and be proud of the way she looks but it's not possible so I tell myself that "you have to be strong and go after what you want". But when I try to breakup with her and chase a girl who is hot and good looking I think no other woman can be as caring as her and I am going to miss her for good. I tried not to see her for a day but I missed her terribly. This makes me think that I am being a beta m ale but not being able to go and get what I want. This actually makes me feel crappy and anxious.

    Can someone please tell me what to do?

  2. #2
    T-Mal's Avatar
    T-Mal is offline PUA All Star
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    Default Re: Am I being a beta male

    That's not "beta" per se....
    It's just you experiencing genuine feelings for someone.

    I've been there. And honestly, I prefer having that close bond with someone like that.

    My ex fiancee & I were together for 18 months. She was actually a bit bigger than most girls I've dated, but it didn't bother me at all.

    She wasn't anywhere near being "obese"... just "thick & curvy".
    And I was closer to her than I've ever been with anyone before in my life, so I never felt like I "settled" with her.

    But now that we're not together, it's game on again.
    And I have a couple other girls in my current net who are curvy as well.

    For me, if a girl has a beautiful face & a few extra pounds, it's all good. That's more attractive than a rockin body & broke-ass face ANY day!

    Besides, you should't give a crap about what other people think. It's about YOU.
    Other people's standards don't mean squat.



    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.

  3. #3
    ShortStuff is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Am I being a beta male

    I met an absolutely amazing woman on Thursday night. She was incredibly gorgeous, a lot of fun, and seemed to have underlying kindness, open-mindedness, and even a little vulnerability. On the surface, she seemed to have everything I'd consider important in a potential girlfriend. We hit it off pretty well and I kissed her before I left the bar, but I knew that since I was leaving town the next morning that nothing could happen.

    I knew then, and I know now, that I'm not ready for her, not because I didn't remember her name or ask her number - But because now, I want desperately for someone to give me either of those things because I want a shot at her someday, when I'm a stronger, better man.

    But that is still a beta mindset. It says, I will never find another girl this good by my measure again, therefore I will never be satisfied. It says, I am emotionally dependent on someone else to make me feel like I can live a life acceptable to me. It's a weakness that absolutely has to be destroyed if you want to keep for your own a girl who will be hunted by other men.

    This is the second time in my short life that I've felt I will not find another woman who might be able to satisfy my needs to the same extent again, but the truth is that's a load and I know it. There's always someone, somewhere, who will be good enough or even better, and I've come to learn that not keeping that in mind is a good way to lose the girl you have - or to not get the one you want.

  4. #4
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    0Rooster0 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I being a beta male

    Its not beta but ur underestimating yourself. There are plenty of girls like that obviously. If your going to have standards for the girls you date then have standards.
    "I've never seen anyone pull as quickly or as efficiently as you"
    -HarryRat(Simplepicku p)

  5. #5
    Grey2fox is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Am I being a beta male

    If she's got a gorgeous face and that awesome personality you're looking for then surely nothing a gym and a good workout can't fix. Encourage her to workout with you. It won't only make you look good but it will boost your confidence and you two will share something together.


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