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  • 1 Post By Othello the Great
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Thread: I've trouble with my confidence, I need help

  1. #1
    D1opare is offline Aspiring PUA
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    Default I've trouble with my confidence, I need help

    Hi guys

    A little introduction first. Im a 18 y/o guy. I had never got a relationship, getting laid or even kissed a girl before. And I'm tired of it.
    So I wanna change myself in order to get succes with women. But I have no idea where to start.
    after a self reflection of the past saturday nights, I didn't approach any girls. For example: when I see a cute girl and actually want to approach her, the thought of getting an instant reject or getting slapt in the face pops up. I know this has something to do with my confidence.

    so does someone have any tips, books or posts here on this forum to fix my confidence or start to grow into a PUA?

  2. #2
    Othello the Great's Avatar
    Othello the Great is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: I've trouble with my confidence, I need help

    Nike says it best,Just do it.

    You can read all about overcoming this paralyzing fear and watch in field approaches on YouTube but nothing helps except grabbing your scrotum (figuratively of course) and going in.

    You could get a wingman and wager valuable things to force you to approach but they won't always be there to test you when you see the beautiful girl walking while you're alone.


    I still struggle with it at times too but after one approach I realize it's no big deal to talk to a girl. One chromosome differentiates us.

    Deep breath and don't think, just do.

  3. #3
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    Wolf24 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I've trouble with my confidence, I need help

    If you feel too intimidated to approach cute girls, try approaching old ladies on the street. Or even dudes.

    It's not always about 'approaching girls'. Sometimes it's just about 'approaching anyone'. By approaching different kinds of people, you can figure out if your sticking point is just about 'approaching girls'. Then you can focus on a more specific fix.
    It's not about who I was or who I'm going to become.

    It's about who I am. Do it right here, right now.

  4. #4
    SCooper2031 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: I've trouble with my confidence, I need help

    Quote Originally Posted by D1opare View Post
    Hi guys

    A little introduction first. Im a 18 y/o guy. I had never got a relationship, getting laid or even kissed a girl before. And I'm tired of it.
    So I wanna change myself in order to get succes with women. But I have no idea where to start.
    after a self reflection of the past saturday nights, I didn't approach any girls. For example: when I see a cute girl and actually want to approach her, the thought of getting an instant reject or getting slapt in the face pops up. I know this has something to do with my confidence.

    so does someone have any tips, books or posts here on this forum to fix my confidence or start to grow into a PUA?
    I want to recommend either David Wygant's "Fearless Code" or David DeAngelo's "Double Your Dating" Both are great beginner ebooks and helped me get started.

    The first real step to success with women is approach, approach, and APPROACH! Let her reject you. Let her laugh at you and think "wow, what a pussy". Why do you want this to happen? Build up your resistance to rejection. Firstly, unless you say something so offensive to the girl, she isn't going to slap you for talking to her, or hitting on her. I've done some stupid shit and never been slapped (except when I asked a girl to slap me, different story). Secondly, she won't laugh either, her rejection will most likely be like "sorry I have a bf". Take it and move on. She's not rejecting you, she doesn't even know you. She's rejecting your approach. First impressions count.

    So work on making your approaches good. If you get rejected, don't be afraid to ask them why. Best feedback would be from a girl right? And also work on taking those rejections. I view it this way, go into it trying to make her reject you. Be funny, stupid, whatever. Have fun with it.

    And finally, don't worry about having no experience. I never had a real girlfriend til this year, and I'm 21. Didn't get laid til 18. So don't feel like you're falling behind on anything, because you're determined to get better and at 18 too. I didn't learn this till I was 20. Good luck buddy

  5. #5
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    Default Re: I've trouble with my confidence, I need help

    Don't go into the process with the intention of getting laid, or a kiss or a phone number...
    Just think of it as having fun & being sociable. Just start by greeting everyone you can with a simple "Hello / Hi / How are you / Good morning / Good afternoon... etc."

    When you realize NOBODY is gonna give you any crap or "reject" you for exchanging pleasantries, your fear will GREATLY diminish.
    The only reason you would experience "failure" per se, is if you're depending on, or expecting, a specific outcome.

    Have you ever been out in public & some "stranger" said "Hello" to you as they walked by? I'm gonna guess & say, yeah....
    And how did you react? Did you reject them / get upset or offended? Heck no! You probably said "Hi" right back to them.

    So, nobody is gonna get pissed at you or belittle you for being polite & sociable. That's all it takes to start overcoming that anxiety.





    .


    Need one on one private coaching? PM me for details.


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