I have been into PUA for 1.5 years now. I have read a lot, approached several times, had mitigated results and still looking into improving my game. There are times where things could have worked out, but the logistics were against me. No big deal, at least I know I can have some success (to be honest, I would consider myself as a 5/6 - of course, I don't aim for 8+, but more in the 6/7 category).
Reading about game has really opened my eyes and I have improved my social skills. Sure, I still haven't managed to get a gal but I am working on it
So, after several failed approaches/dates, I have been thinking about what went wrong. I usually meet girls at friends' parties or meetups. I think that my problem has been that I have been coming too strong when there was no attraction. I am good at building comfort but I fall short on attraction. I am working on kino right now, but there's a theory I have come up with. From what I have experienced, when the girls doesn't show any IOI during the first encounter, then there's little hope to make her feel attracted to you (unless you are super good-looking). On the other hand, if she is into you, even if you make mistakes, she will be forgiving. If you follow all the PUA advice, then things should go smoothly
In a nutshell, my theory is that if she isn't attracted from the beginning, then it is hopeless. You can climb the Everest, cure cancer or become the President of the USA, nothing will change. Sure, you can build attraction by improving your appearance, inner and outer game, but if she doesn't fall for you in the beginning, then it's over. I have tried my luck with quite a number of girls I have met at parties or meetups (and with whom we had a fun time). For those that didn't show any IOIs, I either never got a reply to my sms or things ended after the first date. For those that showed IOIs at any given time, I have managed to secure several dates (logistics were against me and things didn't go any further).
I have read DeAngelo's book "attraction is not a choice" and have understood the whole concept. Yet, I have this impression that I should not waste my time with chicks that don't seem interested from the beginning. I should normally move to the next target.
I just wanted to get the opinion of the most experienced guys here. Do you agree/disagree? How did it work out for you?
Please bear in mind that I am a 5/6. I am realistic enough to know I will not create a "wow" impression with my looks but I have at least a charming personality. I try to even the odds with that but I know there are limits to what I can do.
I number-closed 2 HBs yesterday at a meetup (met them for the first time ever). One was nice and friendly (but she seemed to be like that with everyone). The other one played with her hair during the interaction (but then again, it means nothing at all - then again, she did ask if I want to join her and her friends for dinner but I was good and I declined).
Considering the lack of explicit interest (like it was the case with the 2-3 chicks whom I knew they liked me and with whom things could have worked), I am wondering whether I should meet these 2 new chicks. I could be a waste of time after all...
PS: FYI, I am not into ONS, I just want a relationship.
UPDATE: Ok, I googled the name of one of the chicks I met. Turns out she is the co-founder of the local branch of an international movement against street harassment. Is that a red flag or what? I am always cautious of active feminists...