Hi...first off, I don't think I am a great PUA, but I have been trying hard to pick up my game.
With that said, I have a story that I need advice on from men who understand women better than I do. Here goes...
I just went down to Orlando, Florida to visit a former co-worker for what she called a "F--- Fest". I have talked dirty to this girl on and off for years, after initially hooking up with her in 2008. She is now 28 and I am 41.
I ended up leaving early because it was so awkward for me and I was so upset. The two of us have talked dirty in the past (and sent pictures), and she's always begging me to come visit her. So that's what this trip was about.
She sent me some sexy pics of her in mid-February, and I sent some back. There was tons of flirting. I bought her some expensive shoes and she was excited to get them when I came to visit. So far so good.
Last week I kind of noticed she wasn't texting as much, although if I initiated it she played along. My birthday was Sunday (the day before I left for the trip) and she didn't call/text. hmmm..
Monday comes, she picks me up at the airport, things seem friendly. No kissing, but I feel fine about things. We get to her place, and she mentions she has been talking to a former co-worker from Tennesssee (I don't know this person) and that they will both end up back home in Chicago (where I live too) in two years, implying that it could work with this guy.
I just try to remain cool and say "stranger things have happened" and then blow it off.
But it bothers the hell out of me.
We go for a walk, and she is semi-flirty, but I am "off" my game...I just don't feel comfortable. I mean I wasn't horrendous but I was a little upset about her comment. I kept thinking...is this a TEST or is she serious???
We get back to her place, and she wants to show me the videos she made for work (she is a news reporter). The computer is (gulp) in her bedroom, and we have good conversation, BUT I DO NOT MAKE A MOVE. Perhaps I should have right there--but I didn't. Don't ask me why--I have no idea why I didn't.
Perhaps it was because prior to that she brought out a blanket and told me I would be sleeping on the couch. So again, I had another thing on my mind. These were not good signals, at least that's what I thought.
She comes out to say goodnight with her cat, goes into her room, says goodnight again, and that's it.
The next day I spent about 14 hours at Disney World, so before she got up and when she got back from work, I was gone. I came in from Disney on Tuesday and she was already in bed because it was late.
Wednesday comes, and I basically leave her place once she goes to work. I can tell she is upset that I stayed at Disney for so long (I did because I was realizing what a fool I was).
So I text her I am leaving, she asks if it was because of something she did that offended me, and I say no.
Next day (yesterday) I am more honest with her and I tell her I felt awkward and like a jerk.
She tells me SHE WAS ONLY KIDDING about fooling around, and that she never told me to buy the shoes. She admits to having a new boyfriend, and that even if she didn't it wouldn't be right to mess around because I live far away, we don't know each other intimately, etc. Despite our one night stand back in 2008 and all her comments through the years about wishing we had done it more than just once.
This is the same woman who says we would have beautiful kids together and that if she is single in 2 years that I am walking her down the aisle (wow, I love being a consolation prize)
I asked her recently if I was in the Friend Zone and she said "lol, no"
Now I ask you guys----->am I just the world's biggest sucker/loser with women? Because that's what I feel like.
Thanks for any advice you may have.