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Thread: Kyle's Comprehensive Guide to Slaying the "Friend Zone"

  1. #31
    Tow
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    Default Re: Kyle's Comprehensive Guide to Slaying the "Friend Zone"

    Hm... the sexual talking is more like she talked while I was there about the spring break thing. So I asked if she was that kind of girl who needed a new guy every week and she stated she was no slut she's got a fuckbuddy, so no not a new guy everytime. Then there was dead silence and she asked in front of guy colleagues: Have you ever had sex? She said that with a very devilish smile. Out of reflex I said yes of course. What's your opinion on things like that? Giving in that you're a virgin, talking about your former self (that for example you've been very nerdy, antisocial?).

    And I really shall ask her and not just "wait" for her texting the invitation?

  2. #32
    Tow
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    Default Re: Kyle's Comprehensive Guide to Slaying the "Friend Zone"

    I am just adding this, so others can learn from it:

    She didn't text and I didn't text her either. So I went out with some buddies and when I was arriving I saw her car there (in my town there is a street with several venues). We went into a bar where we've got a bracelet so we can go in and out. Then we bounced into the Irish pub, her favorite venue (wasn't my idea I swear). But I saw her and thought I confront her (don't know if that was good or not). She sat there with her friends, some I've known. So I signed them to be quiet. I put both hands on her shoulders. She sat there some time then she looked up and smiled immediately and greeted me. I immediately told her that I am not here for her (I thought she flaked on me, so...) and showed her the bracelet and my buddies over there. Then I asked why she didn't say something (calm voice, trying to not sound angry or disappointed). Then she said: We didn't set up something for today, did we? I said: Oh we did, but I nearly forgot myself if I hadn't seen your car. (tried to make it not a big deal). Her: Whaaat? I hope it's still there and ok (Was an insider according to my driving skills. It nearly hurt how badly she tried to make me laugh). I just said: Yeah it is. And then said goodbye and that this wasn't nice of her (tried to not pout and be to angry). Her: Sooorrryyy. She tried really hard for rapport, so I think it was an honest forgetting. I mean there've been several times were she said that she couldn't make it, that she wasn't going out today and several invitations without my initiation.

    My steps:
    Reinitiate in a week with setting up a colleague party, where kino and isolation as well should take place as hard push/pull.

    I don't think that I am very deep in the "friendzone" with her. So with her I am done for this thread now I think.

  3. #33
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    Default Re: Kyle's Comprehensive Guide to Slaying the "Friend Zone"

    Heard about this thread for a while, took a while to find. Personally I'd like to see this thread stickied because more than half of the newer threads are in regards to friend zones.

    I stated in a previous thread and I'll bring it back here too but the more I learn about PUA and Human Psychology the friend zone is a Sh!tTest. it's real, but it's a Sh!tTest. The best way to get around this especially when she first brings it up is to pretend you didn't hear it just like she might have said she's seeing some dude--but you don't know if its serious. So don't make it a big deal. Make a plan of attack and stick to your guns. Kyle is spot on with just about how to frame yourself in going for broke or go home.

  4. #34
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    Default Re: Kyle's Comprehensive Guide to Slaying the "Friend Zone"

    Artandale you're right on.^

    I could write a freaking book on the friend zone. The friend zone is literally the biggest shit test ever. I literally laugh in girls faces when they call me there little brother or best
    Friend because I already know how the game ends

    I call girls my "best friends" all the time & frame everything I do as best friend with them just so I can hook up with them whenever I feel like & keep them around.


    ------advanced tip-------
    Making a girl your bestfriend if she has a long term boyfriend is literally the best thing you could do. You can then create deep comfort with her as bestfriends while simultaneously running attraction & hooking up with her best friends which SHE WILL encourage. She will encourage her bestfriends to date you because you're an awesome guy. If she gets uncomfortable which there's a very good chance she will or tells you she has a boyfriend when you're flirting subtly, apologize, & tell her that you just want to be bestfriends & that your intentions aren't to date her. Then over time boyfriend destroy the fark out of her boyfriend, & frame everything as "you would never do that to her" "he shouldn't do that to you."

    Once she sees that he's not that great of a guy, she will dump him. If she doesn't dump him the relationship will be very rocky & that's when you jump in.

    Not to mention, being just bestfriends with girls can actually be really fun. I love the "friend zone"

    -Kyle.

  5. #35
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    Default Re: Kyle's Comprehensive Guide to Slaying the "Friend Zone"

    @Kyle, maybe there should be a book about how to get out of the friend zone. If you want some help I'm here .

    The more I think about the Friend Zone you can really build it to your advantage IF you can master your inner game with foolproof confidence. never apologize, be 100% honest in your approach as to why you're now breaking her Sh!tTest. One thing I've spent most of my life thinking about in regards to the Friend Zone is that when you're trying to break it--both people know that it's more than just sex which can be powerful if you have your confidence rock solid. By her saying you both are friends it means you probably have passed several tests (Like you're not a social retard, you don't smell and you're not a complete jerk) meaning she wants you around. To some degree you can make the Friend Zone really work to your advantage for the long game proving your trust and worth as an individual in their lives because you can be the most consistent figure in her life.

    Another way to look at it is that most guys have a fear of K Closing... She relates those exact feelings to K Closing towards you. Someone's gotta break it--its really a matter of who wants to take that first leap first making sure that someone is confident. I believe the emotional state that the girl might have towards guys in friend zoning them is that they are too afraid which we all are afraid of losing a good friend--but by being confident and taking responsibility in leading them to the next step in escalation reassures them in which they'll mirror those emotions if they can't deny that attraction any more.

    Also another important thing about the Friend Zone is that--just because you're friends doesn't mean you can't sexually escalate or make sex jokes. If you haven't done it and want to start to--take small steps to warm her up to it so she can notice something different about you. With that said escalate with everyone so it's normal.

  6. #36
    Tow
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    Default Re: Kyle's Comprehensive Guide to Slaying the "Friend Zone"

    Since I agree that the Friend Zone is somehow oneitis related, I've got a fine piece of advice from a book of 60 Years Of Challenge to reduce the feelings which come along with oneitis (It helped me very, very much because I am in the same boat. The oneitis, I am not in the Friend Zone with her, that's something I am sure about now. It's not Friend Zone, but maybe "not enough kino-zone" ).
    But now to the advice (and I am not quoting or naming the book here, because I am not sure if I am allowed to talk about another product here):

    FIRST we oneitis-victims (some of the experienced guys may say oneitis-pu*ssies) have to realize that we've built affection with her but not attraction. And affection is for friends and people she has to cope with the whole day. Talking and spending time with girls have shown me, how f*cking nice they are to everyone. The bitch from the club can't survive like that if she's bitchy in everyday-life. So: Affection doesn't mean shit. So don't get jealous of anyone she's talking/laughing to etc.

    Next is something which made clear what's wrong in my mindset. Maybe some of the experts had already said that, but just with reading this it made click in my head and I saw things different. I think a big problem with the Friend Zone and oneitis is, that newbies like me think that it's some big fail (it maybe though) of us which is terminal and unsolveable. But like Kyle and the other experienced guys always taught us: Going cold on her does somehow reset her emotional mind with you in terms of these things. So here are the mistakes:

    1. You don't want to f-close her. You may THINK so but deep down you just want her affection. We are somehow satisfied with masterbation in terms of the urges of sex but what we lack of is female energy, affection.
    2. If YOU don't start this sexual relationship, nothing will happen.

    So a REAL MEANINGFUL affection is just achieved through f-closing her.

    What can you do?

    Start seeing her as a sexy human being again. Notice her ass, her breasts and picture her naked, you f*cking her something like this.

    And no, I am not getting money for writing this, but I am just so amazed how much this helps. You somehow get detached from her emotionally. You don't grave for her attention anymore, you stop texting her too much, you at all don't be that needy. And if that changes it she will come around.

    That girl I am talking in the other posts, my colleague (and by high chance oneitis), spammed me with messages the last week. Not the "pls f*ck me"-messages, because I have to meet up again with her and start the sexual relationship, but she always initiated the conversation and always tried to hold it.

    So I am really glad I've found that advice.

    Please feel free to give your opinion too. It may not help everybody, there may be better advices in your opinion, but I am just reporting what helped me becoming a little bit more detached.

  7. #37
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    Default Re: Kyle's Comprehensive Guide to Slaying the "Friend Zone"

    detached might be the wrong mindset. my reasoning for this is that you still want to be present when and if a situation calls for the strength of your friendship. i think its about priorities in regards to the person you are trying to break through that friend zone and be honest with your feelings. for anyone trying to deal with any AA you still need to solid inner game to be able to present yourself in the most honest forms of intent in most situations.

    think of it this way... instead of being a friend with a girl for over 6 months you could have just been honest and say "Hey you're cute and seem friendly, I wanna get to know you more" instead of finding that courage to stand up when so much has already been invested to only find out after you started to tell her your feelings that she really likes you or wants nothing to do with you. something could have been settled in 1 hour of getting to know her instead of half a year...

    remember as we all get older we're only going to have less tolerance for all these games. so put it out there in every scenario--but never forget you can still be a nice guy and an a$$ as well. remember this is your life, so live it how you wanna live it before you look back when you're old and grey and crying over spilled milk.

  8. #38
    Tow
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    Default Re: Kyle's Comprehensive Guide to Slaying the "Friend Zone"

    I am not sure if you're referring to me with the six months being friends, but if you are: It doesn't seem like she sees me as a friend. But with the "being clear in my intention" you are right of course.

    "detached" was in my own words... maybe it's the language barrier. I've ment the non-neediness, the unreactiveness. With strong oneitis feelings I am reacting to her out of chode-reflex, with being more non-needy etc. I am ACTING.

    I am not saying it's the only way, but he was the first one actually showing a way to get her. Not sleep with other women and fall from not getting oneitis to the next.

    And yeah, sure. If I had taken the action immediately, it would have been different. But in July it's a year since I know about pick up and I went out the first time this year, did some physical and psychological change and as I met her, I wasn't attracted to her first. And that's what's wrong.


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