Kyle's guide to escaping the friend zone.
Many people have been asking about escaping the "friend zone" and wanting a guide on it, so here I am to give you tips and tricks to escape it permanently and bag that hottie you've been having your eyes on.
Now, I am no "expert" just a 19 year old college kid who's been around the block more than a few times and is pretty much a fucking wizard at this "friend zone" shit. This will not work in every situation. These tips may not work in every circumstance. Situations are dynamic, and girls are complex. So if you think that just because you follow every fucking thing I say to the letter that she should just magically feel this unstoppable attraction to you and suddenly want to have sex with you, well, maybe. You have a damn good shot, and better than what you were probably doing anyways or you wouldn't be here in the first place.
THIS WILL NOT WORK OVERNIGHT. THIS WILL TAKE TIME. I SWEAR ON MY KITTENS THAT IF SOMEBODY TELLS ME THEY TRIED THIS FOR 1 DAY AND IT'S NOT WORKING I WILL PROBABLY DRIVE MY CAR OFF A BRIDGE.
I'm going to try and cover every situation possible. This thread is not for the faint of heart, and if you don't agree with my tips, go drink bleach. I'm here to help you guys because I genuinely care for all of you and want you to bag that hottie you're in love with, not benefit myself anymore.
Anyways, here I go.
1.) Here's something crazy. The "Friend zone" doesn't exist. Whoa?!? What?!? Yeah, I said it. It doesn't exist. She's either attracted to you or she isn't. That's okay, we're about to change that. So if you're in the "friend zone" you're not, she just doesn't feel attraction to you, YET.
Understand that. Engrain it. It's the truth, you've been lied to this entire time. I have been close friends with girls for YEARS, and still slept with them. Shouldn't I have been friend zoned? Well, they felt attraction to me the entire time, I just never capitalized, or the circumstances were bad. I'll explain later. What I'm trying to say is, it doesn't matter how long you've been friends with a girl, or how "deep" you're in the friend zone. If she's attracted to you, she'll hookup with you. Anyways, to sum up my thoughts, SHE'S NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU JUST YET.
Well Kyle, how do I suddenly get this girl that I've known for months if not years to suddenly feel this relentless attraction to me if she didn't already find me attractive? Easy. You become an attractive dude.
But wait, lets talk about why you ended up here in the first place, because I feel like you need to know from an ass hole like me.
You're a pussy. I said it.
Nice guy, good friend, shy, sweet, comforting, amazing, they're all synonyms for you fucked up in some way and now she's not attracted to you. You should never, NEVER, end up in the friend zone with a girl unless you actually want to be there. It's ridiculous to even think about. Have some self-respect for yourself, and don't let her toy with your emotions. Especially if you really like her, she knows you really like her/love her, and she just likes the attention you give her, or how you make her feel. That's manipulative, and her using you, and you should of walked away a long time ago. Don't associate yourself with girls who behave like that. She's a shitty person. Straight up ignore her. She'll come crawling back for your attention if you cut all contact. This is how that power will shift.
Once she comes crawling back for attention, Disqualify the hell out of her and neg her and friend zone her. Play her game.
Anyways, back to attraction.
Attraction is a very broad concept, and there are many theory's and different perspectives on how to accelerate attraction or build it. I'm going to give you the universal basics on attraction, because these are all you are going to need to know to build attraction on a beginner level.
1.) Social Proof. = how popular you are, well liked, connections, etc.
2.) Pre-selection. = abundance begets abundance. Girls get you more girls. Success breeds success. Guys who are surrounded by girls are more attractive than guys who are lone wolves.
3.) KINO KINO KINO KINO = touch girls, push them away, pull them in, etc.
4.)Confidence and witty humor. = Being outgoing and friendly will get you further than you could even imagine. Sprinkle in a TINY bit of cockiness with some witty humor and you're golden.
5.)The ability to sexually escalate with girls and a willingness to walk away. = self explanatory.
6.) Be an attractive dude physically. Everybody talks about how looks don't matter. Newsflash, they kinda do.
So Kyle. How do I suddenly get Social proof? How can I get people to love me? How do I build attraction with not just one girl, but on a universal scale with girls? Well, this is a little harder than it looks.
1.) Social proof. Getting people to like you is pretty simple. You just be an outgoing friendly dude. You do cool shit. You have crazy stories. You're exciting. You bring people up to your level, and make people feel good about themselves. Your very presence is a DHV. Make people excited to talk to you again. It's all about being friendly, confident, and outgoing with people. It's pretty hard to explain how to make friends with people, you just do. Lol.
2.) Pre-selection. Getting girls, gets more girls. Alright? Alright. So how can I get an abundance of girls? Well, there's many different ways. Hundreds. Let's start with the easiest. You actually try to be just friends with 5-10 girls. Like genuinely best friends with them. Introduce yourself to these girls, and very directly straight up tell them that you genuinely want to be best friends with them, because you think they're really cool and that's it. Take them out to dinner, take them for long walks, text them, make them feel good. Take them everywhere. Introduce them to each other, Be a fun, awesome guy friend to them. You are not trying to build attraction in these girls. Here's the secret. After you've built this circle of girls, they will introduce you to their friends, and then you meet there friends and so on. Those original girls you were best friends with, will openly introduce you to there friends, and ENCOURAGE you to date there friends. Then you sleep with her friends and so on and so on.
The most important part of all of this is, when you're out in public with a ton of girls other girls WILL NOTICE and wonder what makes you so cool. They will feel attracted to you instantly and they won't know why.
While you're building these best friend relationships, one of these girls might actually fall in love with you. Tread carefully.
Another trick to building pre-selection, specifically to kids in college, is to throw a party. Yeah I said it, party at your place. Nobody's allowed in without a girl. Make it huge, and plan this shit out, and make it fun. Then as soon as they come into your place, introduce yourself, get there names, and phone numbers. Tell them that you want to make them your new best friends, and that they'll be more parties to come. Do this one time, and you should have at least 30-40 new "Best friends" to hangout with. You do not sleep with any of these girls, just yet. The next time you throw a party, text them all, and tell them they can't come unless they bring one of there friends. Then rinse and repeat.
Kino. Kino. Kino. You need to touch everybody. Touch brings people closer, and makes people feel more connected. Don't think so? How about this. Imagine you walk up to this stunning girl and look her in the eyes and tell her you think she's beautiful. Or, you walk up to the same girl, tap her on the shoulder, turn her around, put your hand on her shoulder, and look her directly in the eyes and tell her you think she's beautiful. It's much more intense, and personal, and there's more of a connection there. Get people comfortable with your touch. This could possibly be the most important thing in building attraction and I mean that. Once she's comfortable with your touch, you can break comfort and escalate to more sexual touches. You need comfort to escalate. You need comfort to break comfort.
Confidence and witty humor. Have you ever just talked to somebody, and they challenged you intellectually, were interesting, and made you laugh non-stop? Have you ever just talked to a girl, and she wasn't funny, but she was confident, and challenged you in a fun playful way?These kind of people attract people to them just with there confidence and sense of humor. This is attraction on it's most basic level. Who wouldn't want to surround themselves with somebody who could make them laugh non stop, or challenge them through witty banter.
It basically comes down to being a cool person. Go out and do cool shit, and live life. Have crazy stories. Once you've done it all, then you can talk about it all, because you're confidence through experience.
5.)The ability to sexually escalate with girls and a willingness to walk away. To build attraction, there is going to come a time when you need to make a move. You need to take the chance. You need to be a fucking man, and do what you want with her. If you can't get enough balls to make a move on her, what makes you think she's going to want anything to do with your balls. You feel me? You don't need this girl. I don't care how in love you are with her, you will find somebody better. You were on this earth for (x) amount of years, and you will live, and grow, without her, so don't be scared to walk away if she doesn't like what you're doing, or she's not being compliant. I don't care how much you love her, because she probably doesn't feel the same about you. Sometimes you don't know what you've lost until it's gone. Same with you. You're a diamond, and by letting you go, she's lost out on a treasure. Girls find the ability of a guy to just walk away attractive. It's what keeps girls compliant with you. You should sub-communicate in every way, that if a girl crosses you, that's it. You're gone, and you're moving onto something better. This will keep her on her best behavior, and she will find it so attractive she won't know what to do. Girls LOVE DRAMA NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY. Give her attention, and then don't talk to her at all for a couple days. Make her sit and wonder, make her think. Give her that drama. Make her wonder whether or not you even like her anymore. Make her wonder if you have other girls. She needs to think about you. But you need to balance it. Give her just enough to where she can't get enough of you, and won't stop thinking about you, but not too much where you're not a mystery anymore. Make her chase you. You need to give her just enough attention, because, its not absence makes the heart grow fonder. That statement is false. It's out of sight out of mind. She will forget you if you give her absolutely zero attention for weeks/months.
6.) Be an attractive dude physically. This is pretty simple. If you have coke bottle gauges, you're 5 ft 6inches and 78lbs with face tattoos and nose piercings, she's probably not going to find you attractive physically. *some girls may find this attractive, but we're not talking about a specific type of girl, we're talking about girls on a universal scale here
Work out 4 times a week, get ripped. If you're overweight, diet. If you have a lot of acne on your face, buy some proactive. If you have yellow teeth, brush them. Invest $60 dollars in the teeth whitening strips because they work amazing and are way worth the investment.
Go out and buy yourself some nice clothes. They DONT have to be designer or expensive, even though that helps. What matters is, that they fit you well. They need to fit your body, not too tight, not too loose. If you're skinny, don't wear baggy clothes. It's that simple.
I personally wear Buckle V necks, and Express V necks, because they fit my muscles well and I like the colors. You could do just as good with crew necks shirts from Walmart.
You should buy yourself a pair of white shoes and black shoes. These will go with anything. I'd also invest in a nice pair of dark colored jeans, and light colored jeans.
If you have glasses, get some contacts.
If you do all of this stuff, you're an attractive dude, and you won't even care about her anymore because you'll have girls in swarms. Especially if you build a ton of social proof and pre-selection.
But, you probably won't do it. That's okay.
Alright Kyle, I've done all these, or have been working towards these tips on attraction, and I think I'm an attractive dude. Now what?! I want to score this hot best friend of mine. I love her!
Whoa, slow down there killer. You'll get her in a little bit. I gotchu.
1.) You need to suddenly stop being her friend. Stop texting her, Stop calling her, don't like her shit on facebook, nothing.
You need to disappear. Be aloof. She will notice this. Especially if you are deep in the "friend zone"
Try to make it at least 2 weeks, if not a month of no contact.
If you see her at work, or at class or something, flirt with her, and kino the shit out of her. Slowly escalate the kino without mentioning it, or acting like its a big deal. Sit down by her and put your head on her shoulder next to her face. Push her around, be playful. Poke her in her ribs, kick her butt, whatever. If she doesn't like it, tell her that you thought we were friends and that you were just being playful and to cool it. You're in control of the interaction. You're still going no-contact over text and calling. Just do this stuff in person.
2.) In person, you should also bring up the topic of sex. Talk about it, joke about it, get her thinking about it and just be playful and not serious. If you see a hot girl, tell your "friend" that you think she's hot as hell and would love to ram her brains out. The idea is to get your friend thinking about sex, and seeing you in a more sexual light.
3.) You also need to communicate that you don't let flings ruin friendships, even if you believe otherwise. She needs to know that you aren't just going to stop talking to her if you guys hook up sub-consciously. The best way to do this is like this...
This is the only time it's ever okay to talk about ex-girlfriends when your building attraction.
Say " You know, I feel like it's such a waste when you really get to know somebody, start dating them, have sex, and then you guys break up and you're not even friends anymore. Doesn't that suck? I feel like just because you guys had a fling doesn't mean you can't be friends after, especially if they're such a big part of your life."
She'll agree, because it's nearly impossible to not agree to a statement like that.
Then you say, "If I ended up hooking up with one of my close friends, or if I got into a relationship, I would still be friends after. I don't let flings ruin friendships. I could never do it, especially if I cared about the girl and we were best friends"
She'll say whatever, and then you change the topic, but now she knows that you won't just leave her if you hook-up, and that'll make her more comfortable in the future.
If you start feeling attraction on her side, than instant date her or hangout with her. This works especially good with flakey girls. Just move her, and tell her to come with you for a second, then lead her to isolation and make a move.
Anyways, lets say you don't see her every day, and only like once a week or less... follow this.
You have social proof. You have lots of friends. You do cool shit, because you have lots of friends. You're friends with her right? This is how you use that to your advantage.
This is when you come back strong.
You NEED to get her to hangout with you just as friends. You're friends right? This shouldn't be a problem. If she's flakey, just be persistent. Frame it as, you just want to hangout as friends and just have fun because you miss her.
Get her to hangout. Flirt with her, be confident, kino kino kino her, and just have fun. Don't talk about your kino escalation. Just do it and lead her. If you're at a party, or with other friends, and you can feel the attraction from your best friend, isolate her. If she's being lame, tell her she's being lame and that you never get to see her so she needs to cheer up and have fun because she's being a grouch.
How do you lead her to isolation? Easy.
Tell her that you wanna go for a walk, to help you with something, to walk with you to the bathroom, to grab something out of your car, whatever. Hold her hand as you're walking. This shouldn't be a big deal, because you're both single, and just friends still. If she pulls away, just look at her and be like "Okay? We're just friends? I don't want to lose you" and keep walking to wherever. Get her in isolation, and go for the kiss.
If she plays the, why are you doing this? I just wanna be friends, tell her...
"We are friends? What are you trying to say?"
"I just don't see you like that Kyle. I just want to be friends."
"I understand, but friends don't tell each other what can or can't happen. They don't put each other into boxes."
She'll agree, because there is no way to not agree to that, friends don't boss each other around. Then you rinse and repeat until she walks away.
If she says something like, "Kyle, Stop, I really just wanna be friends..."
You have 2 options on how to play it. Well 3, you could agree and genuinely stay friends, but that's lame.
Agree to that. Say "You know what, I really wanna just be friends too. I was thinking the same thing"
Then ignore her. No contact. Nothing. Improve yourself, game other girls, she'll come around. After you say the line, she'll probably be like
" Wtf? no wait, I want control of this situation. He just wants to be friends? I want more than friends now! Because i'm a girl and I want what I can't have, or what's scarce to me!!"
Drop an ultimatum Kino's bombshell style. Look it up on the forums. I don't remember what it is exactly or how it's worded, but it's magical. If you have deep comfort and are deep in the "friend zone", and you did everything above to the fullest, AND you just went for the kiss/kino'd her properly, this will be golden.
Here is an example in my own words...
Tell her, "Look, I really like you. I want to know what you're favorite foods are, I want to know what it feels like to wake up next to you every morning, I want to meet your parents and have them fall in love with me, I want to be able to call you and just go on late night adventures with you. I WANT to kiss you from head to toe, and know what turns you on. I WANT to know what makes you sopping wet, and I WANT to date you and see where it leads to. We could be perfect for each other, Do you want to just let me go not knowing if I could be the greatest thing to ever happen to you? Your possible soul-mate? If you don't want that, then I understand, but we can't be friends anymore. I can't do it, it's too painful to sit here and be your friend when you don't feel the same, so I'm walking away forever.
She'll probably start crying if she cares about you, but you need to stick to your guns.
"If you don't give me an answer right now on what you want from me, then I'm walking away forever. So if you don't want to date me and see where it goes, tell me right now. No Maybe's either yes or no."
If she says yes, you're golden.
If she says no, say "Well, i'm sorry but I guess this is goodbye. Take care (her name)."
Then move on. She may come around, she may not. Either way, you're going to grow and become a better person with her, or without her.