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Thread: How do you handle the 'ol friends in town?

  1. #1
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default URGENT: How do you handle the 'ol friends in town?

    Met girl online a couple weeks ago.

    Three dates.. had sex on 1st and 3rd date.

    I left her place Wednesday morning. She messaged in afternoon asking when she can see me next. I was busy, and an hour later she said 'Fine, just kidding!"

    I replied "LOL was in a meeting. Lucked out and got tickets to a thing on Saturday. Let's go"

    She replied "Oh darn, some friends are supposed to be coming to town, I'll let you know tomorrow." (That's today.)

    I told her 'that's cool. just let me know"

    She replied "I definitely will do that! I hope your day was great"

    How do I handle this? Do I just wait for her to text me? Do I proactively do something else? I actually do have tix and don't want to not have someone to go with me because I waited too long for her to flake....

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    ShoreGuy28's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you handle the 'ol friends in town?

    This is covered in B4UTXTHER I believe but shoot her a text something along the lines of, "Sup butthead (or any other nickname), I need to know if you can make it to the ____ with me on ___...otherwise I want to have time to get someone else. Let me know, punk!"

    Sorry I'm on my phone but there's nothing wrong with you letting her know that you need an answer before it's too late.

    -Shoreguy
    "She'll forgive you for being a man...but she WON'T forgive you for being a p*ssy"

  3. #3
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do you handle the 'ol friends in town?

    Lots of stuff happened on this one. Do you guys have any guidance?

    So starting Thursday:

    ME: Hey busy bee, whats up w sat? Need to know soon
    HER: Hi! OK I shot him a text, now
    HER: (some random stuff we discussed before) NOTE: I think she did this to take attention off 'him' above!
    ME: (Note related to stuff we discussed before)
    HER: I shot them a text, ill let you know asap. NOTE: See how she changed it to 'THEM!"
    HER: Plans changed, I'm open.
    ME: K, See you at 6p.
    HER: OK!

    FRIDAY (day before date)
    HER: Can't go tomorrow
    HER: I'm so sorry
    HER: A friends niece is in the hosp and theyve asked me tcome
    ME: Totally understand. Is she going to be alright?
    HER: All i know is theyve diagnosed her with diabetes and rushed her to ER. Just found out
    HER: Didnt want to flake on you
    HER: So ill be heading back to SA tomorrow to be with them. So Sad She's only 2
    HER: I'm so sorry
    ME: geez, thats horrible. Go take care of them and Ill see you when youre back

    SATURDAY, 9AM

    HER: I'm going to miss seeing you tonight

    ME: Same. Was looking forward to it.

    So guys, what do you make of it. First, she said her friends might be in town Saturday after asking when she can see me next. Then she clears schedule and this happens... Is it BS, legit, what do you think

    Thanks so much

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How do you handle the 'ol friends in town?

    Ca,

    I am going to have to say that it sounds genuine based on her investment in the conversation. She was very apologetic, double and triple texted, and she even initiated text on the day you were suppose to meet. Sometimes, shit happens. Don't look too hard into things.

    In the past, I had a girl flake on me on a Vegas trip that was planned a month in advance. All I got was a single last minute text THAT DAY saying she can't go. I responded to it and got no reply.

    Aside from that, you handled it very well by the way you sounded very unaffected. Wtg!

  5. #5
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do you handle the 'ol friends in town?

    So she texted today and asked how I am and how the show was. How should I answer her.

    I suppose she's trying to see if I went went someone else.

    Should I tell her something like "it was great, shame you couldn't make it" or something like "I ended up doing something else"

  6. #6
    lilsting's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you handle the 'ol friends in town?

    You're doing fine man, quit questioning yourself. Just don't display any kind of neediness and keep doing your thing.

    How I'd respond:

    "It was awesome! (Then give a short line describing something from the show, and then another line talking about something cool that happened there that she would have liked)."

    "It was awesome! Seeing these guys perform in person was amazing. There were these dancing midgets there that you would have liked .. How's the little one?

    Exchange a few more texts moving on from this topic, and then after enough "fluff" either bounce or set up another date.

  7. #7
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do you handle the 'ol friends in town?

    Thanks. Not sure if I pulled it off well. here's what happened

    HER: Hi. how are you today. How was the show?
    ME: Hey it was kinda like Second City in Chicago. Think you'd like it. I'm relaxing after building furniture. What you doin?
    HER: At home. Fished up some chores, ate, and now being lazy atm...
    ME: Shame were not being lazy together.

    That last message was from me 6pm yesterday. Havent heard back since. Weird, right? What do i do

  8. #8
    lilsting's Avatar
    lilsting is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: How do you handle the 'ol friends in town?

    Quote Originally Posted by CaConfused View Post
    Thanks. Not sure if I pulled it off well. here's what happened

    HER: Hi. how are you today. How was the show?
    ME: Hey it was kinda like Second City in Chicago. Think you'd like it. I'm relaxing after building furniture. What you doin?
    HER: At home. Fished up some chores, ate, and now being lazy atm...
    ME: Shame were not being lazy together.

    That last message was from me 6pm yesterday. Havent heard back since. Weird, right? What do i do
    Good exchange.

    "Shame were not being lazy together. "

    I don't want to say that it was a bad message because it wasn't. That message could have easily been successful with any number of women, but the longer you text you get sort of a sixth sense of when it's the appropriate timing to use such a messages. I would have worked her a little more, and made her earn such an interest laden comment. Again, I don't want you to beat yourself up because it may have worked with another woman, and it was not a bad message.

    I would have just fluffed her with some light fun talk and some teasing.

    "Alright than little lady (nickname). If you have time to be lazy you have plenty of time to start building our yacht! ;p .. I have a hammer if you need one."

    Got the idea? You're displaying slight interest because you're talking about the 2 of you (our yacht), but you're doing it in an indirect manner. Displaying direct interest is ok, but it's all about timing. For the last time, this is something that comes with practice, and I DON'T want you to start over analyzing your text. It's not something that you can learn in a guide. It's something that develops after you send numerous text to different women and get no response lol.

    All you can do now is just wait a day or two, and then re-open her. Focus on fluffing for a little, and then after exchanging some messages, start pushing to meet up with her again.

    She also could have just been busy causing her not to respond, but I usually assume the worst. Whether assuming the worst is a good idea or not, who knows, but that's what I do.

  9. #9
    CaConfused is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: How do you handle the 'ol friends in town?

    Awesome advice guys. Got me laid twice over the weekend with this girl!


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