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  1. #1
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Damage control - possibly made a mistake, how should I get back on track?

    So, here's my story:

    I met up with a girl I've been interested in for a while the other night (we've known each other and interacted closely for about a year), and we got along extremely well. We cuddled for quite a while on the couch watching random youtube videos, and she set up an online dating profile for me which was hilarious and super cute. She was totally into the interaction, she was nuzzling me, and one time when I took my arm off of her to reach for something, she pulled it back over her shoulder. The night was going amazing, but plot twist - I suck at closing >__>.

    Anyway, I did keep in mind that I should be the one to end the interaction first, and so I said I had to head out. I asked for her phone number (previously, when not in person we just used gchat); she said she doesn't really use her phone that often, really only for emergencies, and that we can continue to talk through gchat - but that if I wanted her number she doesn't mind giving it to me. POTENTIAL GOOF #1: I got her phone number anyway. (I'm thinking this might've conveyed too much interest and even some neediness...I didn't, and still don't, have any real intention of using her number because we don't really need it for our interaction, but for whatever reason, I got it anyway...I'm a dumbass)

    As we were heading out, we were splitting into our different directions, and...for anonymity's sake let's call her Jane. For whatever reason, maybe I was just overcome with attraction for Jane (should learn to be more measured/reserved and control myself for sure), when she was waving bye and moving away, I called out and said "Jane c'mere". She hesitated a bit; I motioned towards myself and said the same again, and after hesitating some more she walked back. POTENTIAL GOOF #2: When she came closer, I wanted to give her a kiss (my intentions might've been clear, i dunno), but quickly turned it into a hug when it hit me that she was hesitating super hard, and it turned out kinda awkward due to our positioning (wasn't SO bad, as I switched to a hug pretty early on). More than that, it was her hesitancy to come back - seemed like she didn't want to walk the few steps back to me - which makes me think I goofed. (Should I just have mirrored her 'bye' and ended the night nonchalantly? Once again, I think I revealed my interest in/attraction to her a bit too much.)

    Finally, just a few hours ago, I got an email from the dating site saying that they screen all new profiles, and that the account owner should make sure all the fields are filled out. POTENTIAL GOOF #3: I forwarded the email to her with a funny comment (because we made the dating profile super troll). Even though I know, I know that one should wait for the girl to contact you after a great date (the guy not contacting her after 48 hours makes her wonder whether he liked it), for some reason I sent this email anyway....dammit lol.

    As with the previous two instances, I think I demonstrated my interest too openly, and did not execute my closing/ending/post-date game correctly. She hasn't yet responded to my email (only been a couple hours); I'm wondering what y'alls' thoughts are on the current situation, and how I can best go about regaining control of the interaction...becaus e I feel as though I've given her a good portion of my power by potentially revealing my interest in her too much.

    Any damage control advice/tips? How can I best remedy this situation? Should I stay out of contact for a while now?

  2. #2
    SCooper2031 is offline PUA Forums Respected Contributor
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    Default Re: Damage control - possibly made a mistake, how should I get back on trac

    Ok, it may be the booze talking, but dafuq? (i apologize ahead of time for any harshness in the reply, due to the bevs I've had tonight). Btw before I start, if you were cuddling and hanging with her for a year and did nothing, you're bad and you should feel bad. Ur also probably friendzoned by now

    One: Getting the number isnt the problem, its how u asked for it. Idk how u did it but u may wanna analyze that.
    Two: Don't be a pleb! If you wanna kiss the girl, kiss her and feel no regret. Even if u just go for a hug, own the decision and dont be so unsure about it. Whatever u do is right! She probably felt nervous and awkward because thats how u felt.
    Three: take that 48 hour rule and throw it out the window, for your own sake. I text girls within 5 minutes of getting their number, and a half hour after a first date, and get fine results. Seriously, where on earth did u hear u have to wait 2 days unless the girls texts u? I'm actually kind of angry people still think that crap. And if ur gonna do online dating, make ur own account.

    Try not to over analyze EVERYTHING so much. Be confident in your decisions and be a man!

  3. #3
    afcsupreme is offline PUA in Training
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    Default Re: Damage control - possibly made a mistake, how should I get back on trac

    Yea, I've known her for a year and only made a move to get more intimate now >__>, I was way too conservative and moved slow. Now I'm trying to make up for lost time! I think I'm still in the game, the way she reacted to my kino gives me hope! But i will consider the possibility that I'm friendzoned. Thanks for your other advice as well.


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